Wednesday, 26 May 2010

Super quick but uber happy post.

First of all a huge THANK YOU to the lovely ladies who commented on my last post.A few more months and Louie Spence better watch his ass on the dance floor!

First weigh in since the umpteenth re-start and a loss of 3 lb's :D which brings me back to the 18 st bracket - just.

Pay away day morrow so there will be gym joining,WW online re - subscription and general health related purchases.More next time.


Sunday, 23 May 2010

Shy dancers and cupcake vs. Galah

Well I've had an amazing start if I do say so myself.

1 hours walk at 7am to work Tues,Weds,Thurs,Sat.

Sat - about a 45 minute walk pushing a service user in a wheelchair.

Sun - also about 45 minutes walking around the park and back to a cafe (2 eggs scrambled with toast,1 rasher of bacon with all the fat cut off,small glass of OJ) then for a friends picnic in the park.

Eats have been totally on track,next to NO chocolate imbibed all week.The exception being a 3 point crunchie and some low point muesli bars with a tiny bit of chocolate on them.

Today as I mentioned was a friend's birthday in the park.Glasgow is having some surprisingly beautiful hot,sunny weather,which will hopefully stay with us for a long while to come.This was a first major test in my first week as we are all big foodies and there was a fabulous and huge spread of cupcakes (my downfall),chocolates,chocolate desserts,delicatessen delights,crisps,huge door stopper sandwiches and more.

Thankfully due to the heat and sheer and utter willpower I managed to resist the temptation of the glorious cupcakes and chocolates.Instead I gorged myself on watermelon,strawberries,kiwis and grapes.With a few strawberry ciders in between.

I am way back on track babee!

Now for the one downside this week.Yesterday a whole bunch of us went out to watch the football.Yes,football.6 years of friendship and then couple hood with a Scotsman has turned me into quite a knowledgeable football convert.

Once the game was over the dancing started.We were quite a big group and everyone in our group got up and danced the night away.Everyone except for me.

I am usually quite a confident girl.I know how to dress and flatter my shape.Black doesn't feature in my wardrobe.I'm not afraid to wear bright colours and patterns.I usually don't care what people think,but for some reason I am just too self conscious to get up and dance.I just feel like a big fat awkward blob compared to everyone else.And I freaking LOVE dancing.

When I'm at home by myself doing housework or just chilling out I'm like Louie Spence on speed.When I was back home and slimmer,I was a total raver.Out dancing every Friday and Saturday night.What happened to that girl?

To make things worse,my friends,the Scotsman,my sister and total strangers kept hassling me to get up and dance.There was a particular guy who kept asking me telling my mates that his mission for the night was to get me up to dance.The Scotsman's reply was 'Mate,she's not even getting up to dance with me when I ask,you've got nae chance.'

The more and more people asked me the more and more I felt self conscious and guilty for letting my weight and confidence get in the way of a good time but I just couldn't do it.At one point in the evening I actually had tears welling up.Tears of anger,envy,tiredness and frustration.Just fecking leave me alone,you'll never understand tears.

On the way home in the taxi my very drunk sister and Scotsman proceeded to talk about how much fun they had dancing and what a great night it was.My sister then turned to me and said,quite accusingly 'You didn't dance again tonight,you never get up and dance.Never.Why don't you ever get up and dance? You never ever get up and dance.'

Well wee sister,you will never understand why I didn't get up and dance.Never.Because even at your biggest,you are still a lot slimmer than me.You will never know the shame and frustration of allowing yourself to get this big.The self consciousness when dancing next to a lot slimmer friends and feeling like a big galumphing elephant next to them.The embarrassment of being so grossly unfit you have to use your inhaler after dancing to just a few bars of a song.

But dear wee sister,I shall shed this weight and I shall become confident again,and not just because I have lost weight,because I am soooooo much more than just my weight,but because I am fit enough to out dance you.Watch this space,Raver chick will be back with a vengeance!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Day 2 Of Operation Pin Up Girl

Another day of getting up extra early to walk to work at 7am - before a 13 hour shift too!!!!!

Another day of totally on-track eats,pretty much the same as yesterday,but dinner was a 4.5 point WW meal and I had an Innocent Smoothie before my walk.

Sleepover shift morrow,so another walk to work and a swim planned for Friday morning.Eats all planned.Totally exhausted and off to bed.A more coherent,eloquent post coming soon............


Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Operation Pin-Up Girl is back in action....

First day couldn't have gone any more fabulous.Got up at the crack of a sparrow's fart to walk to work.One hour walking,AND at 7am!!!!!

Eats are totally on track.I'm stealing Linzerello's fab idea of focusing on one meal at a time.

B: Linessa (Lidl) honey nut flakers with skim milk
Mullerlight yogurt

L: 2 teeny,tiny ciabatta rolls from a Lidl multi-bag (which turned out to stretch a long way and be totally filling.)
Punnet baby plum tomatoes,ball of light mozzarella,tablespoon balsamic vinegar and teaspoon olive oil.

D: Low fat steam meal from Farmfoods (don't hate me,it's the week before payday and I had no time to cook)
Honeydew melon

S: Low fat muesli bars x 2

Not a terribly witty or intelligent post but I'm quite exhausted after thrusting my body back into action after months of inactivity.Off to bed again for another early start walking :D

Monday, 17 May 2010

I will be so much more than 'Pretty'.

I found this on another blog I follow,I'm just Linda and I thought it was pretty freaking amazing.

Just what I needed to hear at this moment in time.

Katie Makkai - Pretty

Happy Viewing.xx

Saturday, 15 May 2010

New Motivations and Plan Of Action

I freaking LURVE making lists.Quite ironic as I am super dis-organised,scatty brained and unbelievably messy,so said lists often get lost in the jumble that is my room. I have however written yet another list with a plan of action.

(1) Join the leisure centre where I swim.Swimming is £2.20 a pop and the year long month membership is £31.50 which includes my swimming
and use of the gym plus any classes going.My new shift patterns now mean that my sleepover shifts start at 8am and finish at 8am the next day.Seeing as the leisure centre is only a 20 minute walk away from work,the early mornings are a perfect time to really crank it up and try some gym work or a class,finishing off with a swim.

(2) Join WW online again.I'm a very visual person and while I've mentioned before that the points system is too restricting for me,I nonetheless like following the plan loosely.Above all,I love the online tracker and weight chart etc.Plus of course the recipes and the recipe builder are very handy.

(3) Finally got myself a digital camera,I will take progress photos every month so I can really see the difference for myself.No matter how many people tell me I look as though I've lost weight I still can't seem to get into my head that that 10lb loss has equaled a drop in size on the bottom for me.I keep buying size 24 jeans instead of 22 resulting in much inadvertent arse flashing to my poor colleagues and flatmates.

(4) Get more organised and cook,track my food intake and exercise.I can't even remember the last time I cooked fro

(5) Now don't think I'm getting all new agey on you but next on the list is to set up a vision board with my lovely
leopard print dress hanging from it.
My flatmate is currently reading 'The Secret' and apparently a vision board is one of the first steps to getting goals accomplished.I also shouldn't be saying 'hopefully' this will be the last time I lose weight,I should be saying 'This WILL be that last attempt.I WILL be successful.I WILL get to goal.'etc.etc.

(6) Put £2 into my chocolate money box everyday I don't eat junk (it literally does say 'chocolate money' on it) This will go towards my new motivation....................

Of course,a tattoo!
I had always thought that the Scotsman hated my tattoos.I now have 7,and they are all quite large and in prominent places.Both my upper arms are covered,the back of my neck,my right wrist,my right shoulder blade and of course my very first ever one was a 'tramp stamp'.

It was actually the Scotsman's idea to get our tattoo on holiday.He also had no problems with me getting it on my left forearm,quite large and prominent.In fact,after seeing it,he said he wished he had got his there too.

He's always known that had it been more socially acceptable,I would love to get a tropical flower design going all the way down my left arm from my bicep (who am I kidding?!?!? Bicep!) tattoo down to my wrist.After we got our tattoos,he said to me 'You're halfway to getting your arm covered'. I said to him i would leave it at that,and he then came up with a design for me incorporating all the elements I wanted.That's when the ensuing conversation about my tattoos started and the idea of my arm tattoo being my new motivation started.I will not get it until I have reached my goal size!!!

We talked about social acceptability and he said to me 'There's nothing wrong with a pretty young lady having tattoos!' Pretty and young and lady being used in the same sentence will just about sell anything to me ;P

So there you go,I shall soon be a pretty young lady with tattoos,strutting in Louboutins and a polka dot pencil skirt!

The Umpteenth Re-Start.

I weighed myself today for the first time in yonks and I am at 19 st 2 lb's.The one saving grace is that I'm not at my highest ever weight of 19 st 12 lb's,but still,that means I've only lost 10 lb's in 4 months.

Stoopid,stoopid me! I've got to get a grip of this comfort and emotional eating.I was doing so well in the I always do for the first few months,hell I even gave up chocolate completely and then BAM! The comfort eating takes hold. I can't even remember how many times I've started and re-started WW over the last 6 years.I can't remember how many times I promised myself i would be slim by 30.

The goal is still UK size 16 and then I shall see from there.At the moment I'm just about fitting into a 22,so that's only 3 dress sizes.
Work is back to normal hours and 2 days off per week and the way my rota is working out,after next week that means at least 4 sessions of swimming and walking per week.

Here's another gorgeous inspiration,the beautiful Fluvia Lacerda.

And here's another fabulous,witty fashion blog (plus sized and Aussie too which is always a bonus)

Hopefully this will be my last attempt.

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Holiday Comedown

As you all know I returned on Sunday from an absolutely divine week in Praia Da Rocha,Portugal with the lovely Scotsman.

As if it wasn't luxurious enough to have a whole entire week together with the Scotsman,this is the surroundings in which we were vacationing.............

Oh,and he got his first tattoo.I got my seventh..........

That's my left inner forearm.A declaration of love in Portugese ink.Forever.I think I may have come back from this holiday even more in love if that was at all possible.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

Obregada Portugal!

I'm back from an AMAZING holiday with the Scotsman,newly motivated,relaxed and ready to finally get past that first stone.