When I grow up I'm going to be a pin up girl!

2012-01-02T13:53:00.001Z

Aloha petals!

I hope everyone hade a very merry Chrimbo and a debaucherous New Year.

To be completely honest,I'm glad all the festivities are OVAH.I love Xmas and the thought of a new year,but Dec has just been a total whirlwind,what with getting the visa,organising flights,getting the word out back home,starting to pack up the last 7 years of my life and figuring out how to ship the remnants.

Plus there's the emotional whirlwind that goes with such a big move + Christmas.

My 7 years in Glasgow have been a total rollercoaster.I've found it REALLY hard to make friends,a problem I've not had before.I like to think I'm a pretty easygoing,fun person and take pride in being a fantastic friend.The type you can call at 2 in the morning with a crisis (that's the MsFrangipani test of a good friendship).

A lot of my friends were therefore fellow transient travellers/gap yearers and I'm the last standing in Glasgow.

Glasgow itself is a very hard city to get ingratiated to.It can be a horribly racist,ignorant place full of junkies and beggars.Drab and grey,hopeless sometimes even,and when you live in a place affectionately known as 'Govanhell' well,you get the picture.

On the other hand,as much as Glasgow has it's problems,it will always be my second home and I like to think of myself as an honorary Scot or 'Ozwegian' as my in laws have christened me.(I could proudly tick that I can speak and understand Scottish on the Scotland census) I've got a lot of brilliant memories and experiences here and will certainly miss the fact that you can be sitting at a bus stop and within 5 mins get the entire life story of the stranger next to you.

And as for Scotland herself,well she's just the most stunning country I've ever had the pleasure of travelling about.

However,I of course can not wait to come home.7 yrs and 7 months is a long time.

I feel like the last 7 years have been in limbo,and now the Scotsman and I can finally get settled down and start planting roots.

So,bring on 2012.I know it's probably going to be an emotional rollercoaster but a fun,mostly happy one at that.

Best wishes for 2012.xox

FAB News!!!!!!!

2011-12-17T19:39:00.001Z

I am still laptop-less,have indulged wayyyyyyyy too much over the festive season thus far,but I finally have some GOOD,albeit non weight related news to share.......

THE SCOTSMAN GOT HIS AUSTRALIAN VISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After all the stress,tears,angst,empty pockets and emotional binges we are finally on track to be going back to Sydney :))))))))))

BEST Xmas pressie EVER!!!!!!!!

So,I handed in my 4 week notice yesterday and we are looking at going home the first week of Feb,2012.

I can not tell you how unbelievably happy I am,the smile hasn't left my face and I have been on an absolute euphoric natural high since Weds.

Plus I haven't slept much at all in the last few days due to excitement.

As for the weight,I have a feeling it will slowly be falling off now........

Xox

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Computers hate me part deux

2011-11-21T09:39:00.001Z

Aloha petals!

I have the blue screen of death again so blog posts will be short and sweet till pay day,when I can visit the laptop fix it man.

I have sooooo much to blog about but it will haveto wait till tomorrow.

Xox

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-11-07T12:56:00.002Z

Saturday was our 5 year anniversary and the Scotsman was working 8:00 - 22:00,so we were meant to celebrate yesterday.Turned out to be a pretty fucking shit anniversary.

We should be at our happiest at the moment,making our Aussie plans and getting excited about going away and starting our new life together as husband and wife.

Instead the Scotsman is stressed out to the max and upset and in tears.Now,I have to tell you something......SCOTTISH MEN DO NOT CRY! 7 years I've known this man and I've only seen him cry twice.

It's his fcuking family,primarily his mother.Now,I'm not a mother,but I assumed that being a mother would entail supporting your children no matter what.Loving them no matter what.Supporting their dreams and encouraging them.

Not his mother.There's been a few hurtful,nasty comments made in the past few weeks as we have progressively got closer to the final stages of the visa.His mother is now ill with shingles,and in quite a bad way (nothing life threatening though) and my poor Weegie boy is blaming himself..........as she told him 'It's a stress related illness'.I.e. It's all your fault because you're going away.And that was one of the tamer things she said!

He can't come home and get excited and tell her how things are going as she just throws it in his face and makes negative,hurtful comments.I'm not a violent woman but if I had been there I would've slapped her one!

The most hurtful thing is,it's all coming out now.Nothings ever been said before.I understand they've had 7 years to get used to the idea,and probably thought we would never actually do it,but FFS,that's your son/brother.

I tried to be supportive,I tried to listen and cuddle him and empathise but after a few hours I lost patience.Family shouldn't make you feel like this.It's NOT his fault his mother is ill.Family should be supportive of of another,not make you feel like shit because you're following your dreams.

My family were so different.They positively encouraged my sister and I to travel the world and expand our horizons.Every time I went off travelling they were always full of support and happy for what adventures lay ahead.They didn't burst into tears at the thought of their daughters backpacking to the other side of the world,by themselves!

When I left on my Australia-Scotland overland adventure,they threw a big party for me and everyone made a wee good luck,happy speech for me.In fact,I didn't find out my mother's apprehensions about me backpacking across Russia until after the deed was done and I was safe in Glasgow.And there was absolutely no tears from anyone until the airport departure.FFS,my parents have both their daughters on the other side of the world!

I know that we come from completely different families,my Dad left Germany when he was 21 and my Mama left her island when she was about the same age.They met met in Bali and travelled about the world working until they settled in Oz and fell in love with Sydney.

My Scotsman's family have never left the UK,except for his sister and his niece and they only go to Tenerife or Benidorm.When in Glasgow they barely go beyond their East End bubble.It's such an alien way of life for me,but they seem happy,I just wish they would in turn be happy for the Scotsman and not make it so hard for him to go.

2011-11-03T21:42:00.003Z

LAST PIECE OF DOCUMENTATION FOR THE SCOTSMAN'S VISA HAS ARRIVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a waiting game now.Happy,happy days :D :D :D :D

Shhhhhh,don't tell the Scotsman..............

2011-10-30T21:11:00.004Z

But today was Afternoon Twee.It's a monthly Vintage fair just on the other side of the park from me,i.e. the posh part.

I'm really trying to be good and not spend too much money,as our move to Oz will hopefully be happening in the near future but I couldn't resist these finds.................

Tropical pin up girls,BELA LUGOSI Dracula and macarons courtesy of wee sister.

Then I spied the most awesome vintage bag EVER.....................

I wanted it as soon as I saw this but my sister convinced me to take a walkabout before deciding,as I NEVER wear beige or neutral colours.So sadly I left it and another women went straight over with her friend to check it out.

Whilst walking about all I could rave on about was that bag and how brilliantly it would go with the ample leopard print in my closet.Soooo,wee sister convinced off we went to see if it was still there.And would you believe after purchasing it,that woman that was looking at it after me came back to buy it?!?!?!? PHEW!

I know it has a few marks on the front but it is so utterly divine I have been smiling all day.Over a freaking bag! Le sigh.

Let's stop this damn nonsense!

2011-10-29T21:31:00.004+01:00

You all know I am a hard rocking chick from way back when.I detest the X Factor and everything is stands for and what it's doing to the music industry.

I do,however find myself sucked into watching it week in and week out and even,God forbid,tweeting about it!

This week especially I just can not shut y mouth about it.We've all seen the incredibly cruel comments dished out on this here web thingy,primarily aimed at the women and their physical appearances.

Sami - fat,lesbian.Cue the jokes about food,weight and wanting to sleep with all the female contestants.Jokes that a 5 year old would come up with.So Sami is FAT and GAY.

SO.FCUKING.WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Does Craig get the same treatment?????? He's slightly overweight.NO! Is it because he's a guy?!?!?!?!? I don't know for sure.

Then of course there's that poor wee lassie from Little Mix.OK,she isn't conventionally beautiful.She's kinda quirky looking but I think she's really cute.But there have been INCREDIBLY cruel comments comparing her to a slovenly,South American animal,jibes about her weight etc.This girl is by no means over weight.And she is just that,a GIRL.Whatever your thoughts are about X Factor can we justify publicly villifying a wee lassie all over the internet for daring to chase her dream?

It was heartbreaking to see her crying her eyes out on X Factor this week and then still seeing the vicious taunts on Twitter in reply to her wee segway.

C'mon guys,we need to be building each other up,not tearing each other down.I admit I love a wee gossip as much as the next girl and I love having a wee bitch session with my friends but we never venture into such cruel territory as someones appearance.Dress sense maybe,but not their physicality,as in their actual face,beauty and looks.

We are also,however very complimentary to each other and strangers about their nice shoes,dress,jewellery etc. I'm very lucky that my small group of girlie friends are wonderfully supportive and complimentary.We build each other up,we don't tear each other down.My girlfriends and I are very outgoing and think nothing of complimenting a stranger.Some may run away thinking we've escaped from Carstairs,but for me,it makes my day when a stranger compliments me.

So today I am making a vow to the blogging world that I will try my utmost to stop bitching and tearing down my fellow females (and males),and do my utmost to compliment my friends and strangers.I will do my utmost to stop judging a woman on the way she presents herself to the world and try and do my wee bit to build each other up.

FAIL!

2011-10-19T17:16:00.002+01:00

I totally failed and slept in last Friday and missed my WW meeting

This week however,I finish a sleepover at 8am,literally 5 mins away from my meeting.So I will hang about at a cafe with a good book and nursing a strong coffee till th

e damn meeting opens!

I am so glad to see Paul back on the scene,and I know this is slightly sadistic of me,but I am so glad to see I'm not the only one who has fallen off the wagon,BUT I am so pleased to see that so many of us keep on climbing up that wagon until we finally succeed.

And please remember.........

Onwards and upwards!

xox

Devil vs Devil

2011-10-13T18:52:00.004+01:00

Thanks for all the twitter,facebook and blog loving guys..........especially to my last picture post.

I don't know where that quote came from but I fucking love it! I will not even disguise my use of profanities because it's that ridiculously awesome that the gratuitous use of profanities is needed.

Now,I've written and re-written a post along thee lines about a million times now.Forgive me if it's a bit disjointed.For some time the total feminist,anti-body fascist,pro body acceptance in me has been totally battling the vanity in me that wants to be slimmer.I'm totally cool with the health reasons for it,it's just the vanity of it.The want to (sort of) give in to societies dictations of what's beautiful and 'normal' and what the shops dictate to be an acceptable size.

I've said before,I have never been skinny,size 14 is maybe the slimmest I was once I hit my teens but I was fit and healthy and active.I never really suffered from low self esteem,ironically I've become more self conscious in the last few years or so,but then I have been at my biggest these last few years.Plus the fact that Glasgow has to be the eating disorder/superficial/ competitive women capital of the WORLD.........outside LA,maybe ;P

Here's a wee story for you......................

Some days I feel fcuking AMAZING and gorgeous and it must show as I still get compliments from both strangers and friends,men and women,despite my ample proportions.Other days I feel like a totally unattractive lump of lard and just don't take pride in my appearance.Then I get pissed off at myself for falling into the trap of believing that I am somehow less beautiful, amazing,worthy or plain FABULOUS because I am fat.I am really trying to work on my mindset in terms of self worth as well as changing eating habits.

I hold myself back from so many things because I think 'I need to be slimmer to do that'.For example,I really want to do a Burlesque class.But I keep thinking,when I lose some weight I'll enrol.Why the fuck should I wait?!?!?!?! Why am I listening to society's voice inside my head telling me that it wouldn't be socially acceptable,offensive even to shake my jelly in a Burlesque class?

I buy gorgeous vintage style dresses in size 14 or 16 for when I eventually lose weight and deem myself worthy of dressing the way I want instead of buying those dresses in my current size and dressing the way I want NOW.

I really need to stop this attitude and I really need to make peace with my anti body fascism vs. wanting to slim down self.I am slowly beginning to console the two.I know I need to get healthier,but I also know that my ideal body is a big F.U! to the face of fashion and society.

I have no problem with girls that want this body,as long as it's REALLY what you want and not what you THINK you should be..............

BTW,I'm not sure how I feel about the message in this photo.

But my ideal is this...................................

I know for a fact a girl can be curvaceous and fit at the same time.Been there,done that.I LOVE having boobs and a bum,but how do I tell a Weight Watchers leader that?

Yes,tomorrow I am biting the bullet and joining a meeting,but I know my goal shape is going to be at least a good few stone over the WW/BMI index ideal weight.DO I just go in and continue on till I get to the shape I want? Or will that be soul destroying as I will be 1-2 stone from goal??? My ideal weight for my height of 5'6 is 55kg-69kg/8.5st-11st,by the way.My shape at a size 14 was about 12 st.

So,onto you readers,particularly you feminists out there.How do you console the body acceptance with the vanity of losing weight (disregarding the health side,as we know that's a MUST)? Do you let your weight hold you back or do you go f*ck it and do it anyways? This goes for the guys too! Is your goal weight what your WW/SW goal is?

xox Steph

Glasgow Girls

2011-10-13T17:06:00.000+01:00

I work with a few challenging kids that are 2:1.My fellow colleagues are usually girls much younger than me - 21,22 years old.I would HATE to be a young lady in Glasgow.

Growing up in Sydney,we young ladies preferred the fresh faced,natural look.Full faced make up was reserved for weekends only.Night time at that.Fake tan was/is non existent.You hardly see a sun bed/tanning salon anywhere and ladies seem to be less hard on themselves and their bodies and less damn competitive.

Don't get me wrong,stroll down Bondi Beach and you will be reaching for the bottle of anti-depressants.Trimmed,taut,muscly bodies.The women have AB's ffs.But Bondi is it's own little world up it's own arse.

Anyways,the other day myself,and a few of my colleagues were meeting up with our respective kids we support.Now it was 10am on a Saturday morning,so none of us had had breakfast.The 3 young ones were going out into town that night,so none of them had breakfast.Or any other meals for the rest of the day.

The reason?So they wouldn't have a bloated stomach that night.This was 10am.They weren't going out till 9pm.Then there was the spray tans,fake nails,hair straightened,make up troweled on etc. all organised and planned ahead with military precision.Does no girl do natural in this town?????????

Think TOWIE times 20!!!!!!!

Then when we went our separate ways,one of the girls was stressing out because there was another girl coming who was 'pure gorgeous'.In other words,she was worried she would be out shined by the other girls.The solution was to bare as much flesh as possible with the most amount of make up possible.

Why do young ladies in Glasgow feel the need to compete with each other and be so harsh on their bodies? Do they not realise that the men they are after don't care about the tiny bit of tummy or that little bit of cellulite? Do they not realise that a (decent) man cares more about their gorgeous smile and their lovely personality than their tan or lack of and their shovelled on war paint? Whatever happened to having a fun girls night out with your friends,rather than the whole aim being to get a man at the end of the night? When will girls of Glasgow realise they don't need to freeze their little arses off in the teeny,tiniest of outfits in order to out 'shine' the other girls out there and snag themselves a man????

I love my make up as much as the next girl,but for me less is more.Sheer mineral make up as close to my natural skin colour as possible.It makes me so sad for my lovely,gorgeous,younger friends,that they feel their worth is only determined by how short their skirt is and how pretty they look.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-10-12T15:49:00.002+01:00

Trying to maintain a healthy self esteem and emotions whilst getting healthy,physically.

Onwards and upwards........

2011-10-05T16:32:00.003+01:00

Hello Lovelies,

I feel infinitely better after my last stressed post.I have actually managed to say 'NO' and stick to 2 days off each week this month!!!! Big achievement in this workaholic's life.

I have spent today's day off being leisurely and trying to learn how to crochet amigurumi.FAILED! Are there any crafters out there? How long did it take you to learn crochet beyond a single chain?

I did however successfully bake some choc raspberry cupcakes and some Earl Grey cupcakes.I've only ate one and the rest will be distributed amongst friends and collegues.It isn't even about the eating any more,I just like the zen and ritual of baking.I've ate uber healthy and pretty much vegan all day,though for dinner I'm trying out the sausage and chorizo casserole thing from the latest WW magazine.

In another fail! I forgot to weigh myself today.I actually seriously forgot,not a bury my head in the sand kinda forgot.

I've learnt to stop reading the 'success' stories and simply go straight to the health tips and recipes.FFS,most of the success stories STARTED at a size 14 this issue!!!!!!

Aaaannnnnnndddddd,THREE different people commented that I had lost weight this week.Don't know how the hell coz I've not been exercising or eating healthily so that was a nice surprise.Onwards and upwards from now on! :D

Aussies still out drink Scots!!!!!

2011-10-02T19:44:00.004+01:00

Ouch! Ma heed!

I think I drank my body weight in spirits last night,celebrating my sister in laws b'day,much fun was had,much merriment was made.

I am very proud to say that despite the fact I am feeling wayyyyyyyyy seedy (someone told me that means something completely different here,I mean it in the 'bleauch,someone tranquilise me and wake me up when I feel normal again') I've been taking each meal as it comes and have been very sensible today........a little too much drink again,but that's what Sundays are for,right?

I even hauled my extremely hungover arse up and down my never ending stairs to face the general public at the supermarket to get veg and low fat humous for myself (something uber greasy and about 100pp for the Scotsman) so that I wouldn't give in to a take away.

Anyways,off to nurse ma poor heed and enjoy more precious time with my lovely Scotsman.

Have a happy Sunday :D

xox

Thank you to a reader

2011-09-29T20:57:00.005+01:00

I just want to start with a mega thanks to 'So fat 4 now' (sorry hon,I couldn't find your name on your blog) for this wonderful comment to my last whiny bitch ass post.....................

Every day, every meal, every time I see a cookie, and every breath reminds me that this is the hardest thing I have ever done... 222 pounds gone, and not a day goes by where I do not feel fat, ugly, less than human and embarrassed that I am still fat. This is not easy, but it is simple. Not sure that helps..

It helped me greatly and inspired me to stay on track during my 36 hour (!!!!!!) shift,which was massively stressful and where I never got even 5 mins headspace.I then came home to the shittiest rota ever,nearly had a nervous breakdown looking at the challenging behaviours I would be dealing with and still managed to not reach for chocolate or vodka or a smoke.

Small victory but a victory nonetheless.

So thank you So Fat 4 Now.Go check him out,he's brutally honest which I totally admire and need! And he's a Great Dane lover too which always puts someone in my good books :D

a ranty,disjointed post.........don't say I didn't warn ya.

2011-09-26T21:40:00.005+01:00

Why is it that once people lose a substantial amount of weight or reach goal they get all preachy and evangelical about it?I don't for one second believe that you can go from being a sugar obsessed binge eater to a quinoa-courgette pasta loving gym bunny easily.

I believe of course it CAN be done,just not that it's that easy.

Just once I would love for someone to come out and say 'It's fcuking hard.I fight cravings for chocolate every day.I still want that cake and I want it now to feed the stress from work/life in general.The gym still sucks.I still need to drag my arse outta bed to exercise everyday and courgette spirals are no substitute for real,carby pasta,but it's what I have to do.Oh,and it took me 7 attempts to finally get me where I am today'

Or is it just me????????

I am really struggling at the moment.Physically in terms of sticking to healthy eating and exercise and emotionally.Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly climbing up a mountain of fat and I'm just getting nowhere.Then I beat myself up for beating myself up.I just feel like how many fcuking times will I attempt this before I finally get to my goal????? It's not helped by the fact I work 2:1 with some kids,with skinny minnies much younger than me with borderline eating disorders/body dysmorphia.I would really hate to be a young woman in Glasgow nowadays.But that's a whole other blog post.

Then there's the visa.I managed to cut down to 130 hours at the beginning of the month,but I am now at over 210.I've just agreed to do a Weds 8am - Thurs 8pm sleepover shift.Mainly because this bloody visa is costing us an arm and a leg.On top of being the most expensive visa Australia has,we then had to fork out to go to Edinburgh (£30 before we even left the station!) and then an extortionate amount for the Scotsman's medicals,then we have to pay for his criminal record check and for a solicitor to certify his passport copies.All this to get my own fiance into my own country.And I'm so pissed off with myself,as when I read stories like this,it turns this soft hearted leftie into a slightly right leaning lass.I mean we are probably spending more than $AUD 4000 to get into my own country legally.Then I hate myself for feeling so bitter about a cause I once was so passionate about.ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the wedding/handfasting.It seems to be slowly snowballing into something so far opposite to what the Scotsman and I want and morphing more and more into what my mum,sister and others want.

I've never been the marrying type.I can barely commit to something for more than 5 minutes,let alone 5 years,let alone a lifetime! I adore my gorgeous Scotsman,but I must admit there is a teeny tiny part of me that is secretly both excited and terrified at what the next year holds.

I mean,we are in a loving,monogamous,fun relationship,but not living together means we still maintain that level of independence.I can't wait to finally live with him but I do think it's going to be a huge culture shock - living with a partner,being married and coming back to Sydney after so long away from home.Plus the fact that we are literally polar opposites in every single way.Living together is going to be an interesting ride.............

So back to the point.I understand that being the total anti-marriage woman I was,my mum and sister and friends and family are naturally excited that they can help plan a wedding for me,but I just sometimes wish they would back.the.fcuk.off.

We just want a simple ceremony on the beach,no big white dress,a BBQ in our back yard for our reception.All my ideas are getting vetoed.I feel like just giving up and eloping.

Then there's the question of children.Being 31 and 37,immigrating and marrying the big C word often comes up.We both don't want children,but sometimes it seems like I am committing a cardinal sin by actually articulating out loud the fact that I do not want kids and have never had that maternal feeling around babies.Which is strange as I love the kids I work with,the more challenging the more rewarding,I just don't want to come home to my own.The thought of falling pregnant is my worst nightmare.I respect all the mothers out there,call me anytime for babysitting duties,but it's just not for me.

So I'm just in a bit of a slump really..........visa,marriage pressures,children,uncertainty with work hours,flat sharing with 2 other people just makes me pissed off and reach for the chocolate.

Now I know people are experiencing bigger and badder issues out there and I'm a very lucky girl to have found my soul mate and be moving to Oz but I still can't help feeling like my heads about to burst.I feel most of the time like I'm being a selfish drama queen beeatch but it's where my heads at at the mo.

So a new month begins,I am seriously going to try and stick with normal working hours and get myself back on the wagon for the millionth time.

Hope you're all doing well and thanks for listening if you got this far ;P xox

2011-09-19T17:24:00.003+01:00

Aloha petals!

I have soooooooooooooo much to blog about but so little time.I cut my days down to Mon,Tues,Fri and Sat,started the month off with 110 hours and now I am up to 200!

I have so many thoughts and news and adventures to ramble about but it will have to wait till I get a full day to myself to sit down and spew it all out........in the most elegant way possible of course.In the meantime if you are twitter inclined,you can follow my rambles on there

msfrangipani

Chat soon lovelies! xox

2011-08-31T21:20:00.001+01:00

Eeeeeek!I am so excited,nervous,feel like spewing,butterflies in my tummy.

We are awaiting the nightbus to London and the reality of everything is hitting me.I'm even TOO NERVOUS TO EAT which is unheard of in Frangipani world.

Off to London town!!!!!

Xox

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-08-31T09:21:00.002+01:00

On a happy note we are getting the night bus down to London and lodging the visa tomorrow! EEK!

I had a mini breakdown on Sunday.Tears were shed and tiaras were thrown but we've done as much as we can now.All we can do is wait and see.I'm sure they'll contact us if we need anything extra.

I'm nervous and excited and have had butterflies since Saturday.

German guilt

2011-08-30T22:32:00.003+01:00

I've just finished watching 'The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas'.

Currently bawling my eyes out and feeling 'German guilt'.

As most of you know,my father is German and all his family are still over there and I have a German passport.

We never,ever speak about the war and even the Berlin wall.My father only mentioned it once when we were on the East Side visiting his Grandpa's old house.He said he used to come and visit his Opa in the summer when he was a child and one day there were big trucks coming down the road with massive blocks on them.He asked his Opa what they were for and he replied that 'they are building a big wall'.That summer was the last time he saw his Opa.

We get wee fascinating snippets here and there when my Dad has had a few Jaegers but as a whole the wall and the war are never discussed.When I was younger I never used to understand why my Dad was at times seemingly ashamed to be German.I thought,it was in the past,people know Germans aren't like that nowadays.But then I met Germans my age when travelling and even they would say they were Scandinavian instead of German.

I never understood until I went to Auschwitz - Bergen Belsen myself in 2004 and felt an overwhelming feeling of guilt.Everything was set out so efficiently and orderly and so German.Think Germany and what's the first thing most people think of?

I have so many questions that I wish I could ask my grandparents or even my father but I know it's still too sore to ask about.I have travelled extensively around Germany and it's an amazing country with brilliant people.Of course there is good and bad in all races,but Germany is at least facing it's past head on and trying to reconcile for the future.

I had the chance to see an amazing exhibit called 'Hitler and the German People' at the German History Museum which explained how scarily easy it is for such a monster to come into power and then beat it's people into submission with fear which then leads to the horrors of Hitler's time.We need only look at Cambodia and it's killing fields or even what's happening in Libya at the moment.

2011-08-27T19:05:00.001+01:00

Absolut MANGO vodka is now available in the UK.That is all.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-08-27T07:45:00.004+01:00

I got woken up by the Scotsman's alarm at 7:00am this morning and so have nothing to do but bombard you with my rambling and catch up on morning cartoons which I haven't ever had the time or been awake early enough for in yonks.

Yesterdays post was very cathartic and it was good to get all those reflections out and look over them and then discuss our future life with the Scotsman.It was nice for him,and myself actually to know that I do have much love for Scotland and will miss her and leave a part of me here as cheesy at that sounds.I really will miss it here.

Nothing I've seen ever compares with the highlands and lochs of Scotland.It's so beautiful and.....................majestic it actually brings a tear to the eye.If any of you gorgeous readers were to come to Scotland I would recommend hiring a car,driving through Glencoe (my favourite place in the whole of Scotland) and then drive up to Sandwood Bay.One of the most beautiful drives in the world and the 5 hour round trip walk to the beach is well worth it.Oh,and read up on your Glencoe history before you go,just makes it that more eerily beautiful.And men in kilts are the sexiest thing EVER!

And I've never had a deep fried Mars Bar here...........I have tried one on Bondi Beach however,shared with my sister sitting in what we thought then,was Baltic temperatures.It was lovely actually.The batter was a slightly sweet,coconutty mixture.Mmmmmm.I somehow don't think Glasgow ones will be of that calibre.This is the land of the battered,deep fried PIZZA after all.

I just need to try and calm down about everything.I actually got told buy a guy on the phone at the Australian consulate in London to not stress out and worry too much about our application.He actually told me to calm down and just relax.

PAH! Easier said than done.I know a few of you may have had experiences of trying to immigrate to Oz and know how damn hard and strict they are.However those feelings of frustration are compounded when you are Australian yourself,merely trying to get back into your own country with your future husband and no children.

I know we will most likely be fine but I don't want to be absolute about it all in the very slim chance it doesn't go to plan.It just seems a hell of a lot of rigmarole and I know it's to separate the wheat from the chaff but I still can help feeling slightly anxious about the whole thing at times.

I just want our quiet,beach side life in Kiama sooooooooo badly.Think a smaller,sleepier version of Home and Away.That's Kiama.And at a fraction of the exorbitant Sydney rental prices!I mean check out this listing.Whale watching from your own house?!?!?!?!??!

Anyways my lovelies I've rambled long enough and bombarded your timeline.I keep forgetting people actually read this!

xox

2011-08-26T21:40:00.004+01:00

The lovely Tim asked me what made me come to the UK.I started to type an answer and realised it was getting wayyyyyy to long winded and deserved it's own post so here goes.........

Hahaha,I get asked that all the time.Basically I've always loved travelling,my parents met travelling and are both immigrants to Oz,so my sister and I were always encouraged to get out and see the big,wide world.

Did a couple of backpacking trips through SE Asia during my Uni breaks.I decided special needs teaching wasn't for me,it's severely under resourced and under budgeted.I respect teachers greatly for what they try and do with such limited resources but I just felt special needs teaching was like a glorified creche.

Sooooo,I dropped out of Uni and thought I'd better do something with my life as all my friends were either working their ways up the career ladder or sensibly stuck it out at Uni.I decided to make my way overland from Australia to Europe/UK.Which I did,and was the most amazing and at times scary,6 months of my life.

The options to settle were either Germany,with my very rusty Deutsche or Scotland which I'd always fancied for some reason.I definitely knew I didn't want to do London,Edinburgh or Dublin,so Glasgow it was as jobs for non-fluent,non TEFL qualified people were of course not very great and I was running out of funds.

I didn't want to do the usual big 3 as I wanted to come over here and really get assimilated in the local culture,as opposed to hanging about a bunch of other Aussies in Shepherds Bush.I came to Glasgow with my last pennies,intended to stay a year or 2 before moving on and trying to do some seasonal work around Europe,but the friendship with the Scotsman turned into romance and 2 years turned into 7.

Phew! Are you still with me? ;P

I don't regret the travelling or dropping out of Uni as I had some freaking awesome adventures,and met the love of my life.At times I have pangs of,not so much regret but maybe guilt for letting my parents down - they both dropped out of school at 15 due to poverty and worked their arses off to get where they are today,and because I realise that the opportunity for Uni has maybe passed me by,which some people would give their right arm for.

It's certainly been an emotional roller coaster,but that's another post......and don't even get me started on the weather.On the whole though,I'll be leaving (hopefully,all going well) with good memories,and leaving a little bit of my heart in Scotland which is still one of the most beautiful countries I've ever had the pleasure of travelling around.

xox

2011-08-26T21:02:00.002+01:00

I got my September rota today and for the first time in a year I have looked at it without feeling dread,horror or a lurch in my stomach.My pay is inevitably going to suffer but I am so less stressed about work I don't care,I will just make do.

I will have more time for cooking and baking (on a budget),the gym and general 'me' time.

Inevitably one stress replaces another and I have been an absolute mess of nerves about the whole visa application,moving back to Sydney after SEVEN YEARS in Glasgow (7 1/2 in total away from home),having to live with the parents till we find our own place,finding jobs,starting from scratch,trying to organise a wedding from the other side of the world and with 7 months to go.And on top of all that my wee sister isn't talking to my mum and the parentals are exacerbating my stress levels.I'm thirty-fucking-one FFS! Yet they can still make me feel like a kid that doesn't know what I'm doing in the big,bad world.Helllllooooooooo!I've managed nearly 8 years on my own,I'm sure moving back to my HOME TOWN won't be that big a deal!

Mentally I'm not here anymore.I mean,my hearts not in it anymore.I'm ready to go home and in some ways I am already emotionally over there.My room is a shambles coz I just don't give a shit anymore,I know it's all going to get packed in boxes soon.And I just keep thinking in terms of Kiama/Sydney if that makes sense.

On the other hand,I'd always thought I would be racing to the airport as quick as my legs would take me,without a second glance but I'm beginning to realise I really will miss this place despite the total roller coaster ride my time here has been.

Anyways,I've rambled on enough for a a Friday night.Off to contemplate all these things taht are whirling about in my head.

xox

Super awesome yogurt cake recipe anyone????

2011-08-23T14:50:00.004+01:00

I used to have a super awesome and healthy (!) raspberry yogurt cake with low fat cream cheese frosting from the Australian Women's Weekly.I cannot for the life of me find it online so I'm throwing it out to you lovely readers is you have any lovely cakey/muffiny recipes that involve yogurt?I have some about to go past the best before date but I'm sure they will be OK baked into something.

If I'm working it's usually always breakfast on the go and muffins are the easiest.Not the best,most healthiest choice,but when home made from a healthy recipe no worse than cereal or bread with jam,nut butters etc.

Goal for the month is to cook,cook,cook,bake,bake,bake*

*decadent baked goods shall of course be distributed amongst loved ones and workers.

Lazy Sundays are the shizz.......

2011-08-21T14:27:00.003+01:00

Having an extremely lazy Sunday and it's complete bliss.Started the day with a cocktail and I'm not even going to apologise for it.Hell,it's my only day off and it was 6pm in Sydney...........

Met up with 2 of my wee sisters best friends all the way from Sydney.They wanted a true,artery hardening Scottish breakfast of black pudding,fried bread,potato scone and square sausage (plus the other usual culprits) and so we went to Brooklyn Cafe for the last time.

I've always thought it was a bit over priced,but the food and service is usually good so as a wee treat it's a nice outing.Today however the waitress was downright rude and abrupt,they forgot the Scotsman's order TWICE,then when it finally came out for the third time it was wrong!!!!

Now I understand mistakes happen,and having a father in the restaurant business I usually hate to complain,but it wasn't overly busy and I'm sorry,but it's blatantly obvious something is amiss when 4 out of your party of 5 has meals in front of them and one person doesn't!Then to forget it twice and get it wrong a third?!?!?!?!?

And the thing that gets us the most is that there was no apology or acknowledgement of the mistake.The Scotsman went home hungry and pissed off and had to have a home cooked brekkie when we came home,which he wolfed down like an 18th century street urchin.You all saw him in my last post,he cannot afford to not eat!!!!!

I've looked up reviews for Brooklyn however and it's not got that good a rep.Seems to be going downhill fast and the manager is getting a rep as a dour faced bast*rd.

But that's my rant over,I know it pales in comparison to the other things going on in this crazy world.Seems trivial to complain about a breakfast when people are dying for democracy and freedoms we take for granted.

In other goings on,I've just ordered a shitload of pin up and burlesque embroidery patterns and some creepy cute *crochet books in an attempt to keep my hands and mind busy and away from wandering towards chocolate. * Don't judge me,I can still keep up drinking with the young ones,thrashing to death metal and come home on a sunday and do some snazzy crafting!

I'm currently trying to piece together a weekly menu and get in some more (healthy) baking and cooking as we have not had a good,proper home cooked meal in yonks.Will post that up once I manage to tear myself away from my (pointed) homemade Sangria.I'm afraid it's going straight to my head and making my thoughts all fuzzy.Probably doesn't help that it's Aussie measures and not Spanish ones ;P

Till next time! xox

A wee Gem from a gorgeous,voluptuous vixen.........

2011-08-20T08:34:00.003+01:00

A wee gem from a gorgeous Aussie fatshion designer and all round FABULOUS female,Gisela Ramirez

One of the things we love about you is that you’re so comfortable with your body (and rightly so!). Have you always been this way?

GR: Thank you! No, I haven’t always been this way, it’s been a journey. I think a good place to start is by throwing out your beauty magazines and detoxing from the pop culture definition of beauty. The next step is to bite your tongue when you think of criticising the way other people look or dress, and ask yourself why you feel the need. Those two single acts give you permission to see yourself in a different light & I promise they can make an impact on anyone’s life.

Oh dear..........

2011-08-18T17:06:00.006+01:00

I've just seen my dream Whirling Turban wedding dress for a fraction of the cost at Vivien of Holloway.

There is now about 10 dresses I could possibly choose from.EEK!

Too many options for this indecisive little drama queen.Luckily the Collectif one I've bought already was uber cheap,and would totally be something I would wear on a daily basis.

Still possibly thinking about leopard print halterneck circle dress with a red petticoat,but my mum would probably not speak to me for 6 months and as much as it's NOT about her and all about MOI for one day of my life,I probably am just inclined for leopard on my wedding day just to piss her off.How the hell such a traditional mother gave birth to such a rebellious daughter I will never know.

Decisions,decisions...............

But it has given me a new found and much needed motivation.I've been good with eats,cutting down the drinking,no smoking this week.

Still need to fulfill my promise of coming on here with a meal plan for the week ala Paul.But I am so sadly skint that meals haven't been able to be planned as I have had to make a mish mash of whatever is in the cupboard.

One more week of crazy ass work then down to a 4-5 day week,so no excuses for the gym.

And it's a really bad photo (taken at a *relly bash - far too many cocktails and shots),but here is what I have to contend with..............

Look at his arm compared to mine.He is literally HALF my size and yet my Scotsman can eat 100 PP a DAY and yet remain the same weight since he was 16.Oh,and on his days off there's beer or red wine on top of that 100 PP!!!!!!!!!!

I need to be firm with him when he wants to get take aways.He thinks he's doing me a good turn as it means I don't have to cook and we get to maximise the precious time we spend together but even after 7 years he still can't seem to see the difference in our metabolisms :S

Off to look at wedding p*rn now.xox

P.S. A relly bash is an Aussie term for a party/BBQ with the relatives,family and friends i.e. the rellies.

The little Aussie battler that just won't give up.

2011-08-15T20:33:00.004+01:00

Enough fcuking around.I officially suck at weight loss,but I cleaned up my blog roll yesterday and realised something.OK,I may suck majorly at sticking to exercise and healthy eating,I may be taking years to lose that second bloody stone,I may be fcuking around drinking and partying too much,I may have issues that need serious addressing to combat my emotive eating ,but I'M STILL HERE.

Plodding along,working away,falling off the wagon,screwing up,getting back on again,working away,falling off the wagon,screwing up,getting back on again,working away,falling off the wagon,screwing up,getting back on again etc. You get the picture.

The point is,I'm still here,still constantly trying and I will get there one day even if it takes a thousand FAILS! and re-tries.And I thank all of you readers that have been patient enough to still stick around when you hear the same old spiel over and over again.

Love you all long time! xox

2011-08-11T16:38:00.002+01:00

Ugh,I've been up since 10:30am and haven't done anything constructive beside phone my parents and a friend.....and go out to get some stuff for dinner.Except I came back with 2 bottles of nice red (on offer,and one's for a rainy day!) and no dinner.

I guess the luxury and novelty of actually having a second day off in a week was too lovely to even contemplate doing anything other than potter about in my comfies.

I've not even turned the computer on till now.Ive been so lazy it's just twittering on the iphone.

I hope everyone is well and safe in London.Looks like things are slowly calming down? And I can proudly say that Glasgow is riot free.We were all really worried that we would be next as the poverty and deprivation is incredible here,not to mention the mindless thuggery that happens here on a daily basis thanks to the local Neds (Non.Educated.Delinquents) I was shocked when I first came here at the sight of some of the really run down,deprived areas.I'm not saying Australia is without it's problems but some places in Glasgow rival former Soviet countries.

However despite all this bleakness here is something to warm the cockles of your heart.............

Something nice for Ashraf

xox

2011-08-09T17:33:00.004+01:00

First of all I hope those of you with loved ones near or in the midst of the riots are OK.We are checking anxiously on friends in London and can offer comfy couches and home cooked meals for anyone needing refuge.

I'm sorry guys,I know this is usually a lighthearted blog but I've just seen something that's made me really sad.

I was on my sisters facebook page and her status read 'London rioters = douchebags of society'

Most people's sentiments,including mine,exactly.However a friends of her mum then wrote this underneath..........

'We should have listened to old Enoch Powell all those years ago.My old man will be turning in his grave'

I will be honest with you guys,this nearly made me cry.

I understand the total anger at these idiots.At first I empathised with the frustration,the complex issues at heart etc. but now it's gone too damn far.

Since when however,was this idiocy related to race????????? This is not about race,people!!!! It's about a small number of numbnuts of ALL races!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please don't let a small number of douchebags taint your opinion of those of a different race to you.

If Enoch Powell were in power my sister and I,along with many other immigrants wouldn't have been allowed to settle here.My sister and I both work 2 jobs,at least 50 hours a week.We pay our taxes,contribute to Scottish/British society,have assimilated into the local culture and are generally good Scottish citizens.

We have however also faced the prejudices that come along with being racially unusual in a city/country that's not used to seeing immigrants other than Asians.I've been numerously told to 'Fuck off back to where you came from',called a p*ki bastard,a black bastard,gyppo bastard (told you we were racially unusual looking!) etc. Then there's the more subtle racism - being followed around a shop by the security guard,having my bus or train ticket scrutinised while loads of Scottish people are let ahead without so much as a glance,and been asked several times 'Are you half caste?'.This is deeply offensive for anyone that doesn't realise.Then there's all the blissfully ignorant questions that go along with being a half-Indonesian,half German,Sydney bred,Hong Kong born girl.

And of course I've witnessed all these things happen to other immigrants.However,I know that not ALL Scottish people are like that.It's just the ignorant few.

Please people,let's not make this sad,monstrous situation even worse than it is by bringing racism into it.

2011-08-08T20:33:00.003+01:00

Hello Everyone,

Well twitter is blowing up with all the rioting in London.It's certainly divided Britain and makes me sad that it's come to this.

I absolutely do not condone the rioting,burning and looting,but I also do not agree with the police handling of the whole situation and the media's slightly right leaning views on this.And the way the Govt. is royally fucking over this country,well I'm actually not surprised it's come to this.

I'm seeing the effects of the public sector/govt. cuts and it's bloody scary.Both for our service users and for us staff.Quite frankly I am glad that we will hopefully be getting out of here as I really worry about the future here.I've loved my time in Scotland and I really hope the economy recovers soon.

That's all I wanted to say on the subject,please do not take what the media says for granted.Read a little further.This is a far more complex issue than it seems.

I hope that everyone in London is staying safe and this whole sorry situation calms down very soon.

And remember these are merely my left leaning views from an ethnic girl who has lived in Glasgow for 7 years and seen the best and worst of British society.I don't expect everyone to agree with me,and if you don't,cool,but no hate mail please!

Much love.xoxox

Eating out????/

2011-08-04T18:42:00.010+01:00

I know I said I wouldn't blog again till I had successful losses but I can't shut the hell up,so here I am.

I wanted to ask how you combat eating out?

The big problem the Scotsman and I have is going out.As I've

said before,we see each other once a week on average.Now it's becoming more as he's early shifts and I no longer do so many sleepovers and nights.

As we have no kids and Glasgow has an ABUNDANCE of watering holes offering cheap pre-theatre deals we inevitably end up going out at least once a week,brunch or dinner.And while I rarely drink when I'm working on my days off I'm a total lush!

I have been really trying to have lime-soda-vodkas when out and avoiding my beloved cocktails.Much to my chagrin I found Mojitos to not be as low fat as I thought.So the drinking is kinda being controlled......it's just the actual eating out.

What do you do with your friends/lovers instead of eating out?Keeping in mind Scottish weather is not exactly kind to outdoor activities.And the scotsman and I LOVE our date nights.

I mean I adore food and the whole ritual of eating out.I don't want to become one of those food nazis who orders salad and skips cake when they go out.You know the types,I read those blogs and wanna cry.I know that's probably the reason why they are slim and I'm obese but most of those bloggers look a little too skinny for my liking.And I've read somebehaviour that's a little too obsessive IMHO.Don't get me wrong,they are in the minority.I get a lot of inspiration from healthy blogs/success stories......I just want to hit a happy medium.

I will never and don't intend on becoming skinny.I am aiming for a size 14-16 and able to run after a bus and up my flights of stairs to the 3rd floor without having an asthma attack.

I know to some that's huge and that's your before but I honestly find that voluptousness damn gorgeous.

Images from dailymail.com

So,I think I will follow Paul's great lead and plan the WEEK in advance rather than day to day.And any activity points/weekly are to be used on alcohol only.If not used,they're not eaten.So I will be back in a few days to post up my weeks menu.

In other news,we will be heading down to London again on 1st September to lodge our visa application.We have been reading on immigration forums that straightforward ones like ours can take as little as a week! EEK! We could possibly be home by November!!!!!

It's definitely time to move on.Glasgow and I have had a real roller-coaster relationship over the past 7 years,not to mention the 5 stone weight gain.I adore Scotland itself but Glasgow I can take or leave.We've both reached as far as we can go in our prospective careers,in fact I've gone backwards down the career ladder.

I'm tired of 4 day summers and endless winters.I'm basically ready to go back home to the sun and surf,relaxed way of life and working to live,not living to work.Fate called me here and gave me my Scotsman,now it's time for the next chapter in our lives.Fingers X'd......I really don't know what we will do if we don't get this visa!!!!!

Shite,shite,shite!!!!

2011-08-03T16:06:00.003+01:00

I've been totally shit.I've been eating out too much - with the Scotsman who can eat 99 PP (yes,seriously!We tracked and that's his typical day!!!!!) and NEVER.GAIN.WEIGHT.He's been 9 stone or so since he was 16.Bitch!

I've not been to the gym at all and as such my stress levels have been through the roof.Then as the vicious cycle goes,I then eat my feelings.

For those that don't know or are wondering,I am a support worker with children and adults with learning disabilities,primarily and challenging,violent behaviour.Hence why I have to be sooooooo careful as to what I say on here in regards to work.

But here's a little scenario,today I had a wee girl in the park who managed to grab onto my hair,while I was trying to prise her hand off she grabbed with the other and managed to get me on the ground struggling for a few minutes.This wee girl has the strength of an ox!

And that's a typical incident in a typical day.I'm constantly coming home with new scars and bruises and my loved ones want me to quit.However,as we all know,it's pretty damn hard out there job wise!

And the next question usually is why do you do it? Well,I've been asking myself that more and more lately.But the good days make all the bad worth it.Simple as that.I know I'm good at my job and I'm making wee breakthroughs which makes it all worth while.

However,I have finally got the balls to ask my boss to cut my hours to 4 days a week with the option of overtime.Financially I'll just have to make do,but for now my health and mental well being come first.

Sooooo,I'm hoping that this will then reflect on the weight loss.I'll be able to get to the gym more - no excuses of being too tired and emotionally drained.And I'll cook more as I'll have the time.

Now,I feel as though I am constantly failing at this and that's not conducive to good reading.I will take a wee week or 2 off this blog to get back on track,get back into exercise and,well,until I can finally post a consecutive 2 week loss!

In the meantime,please check out this and this post from the lovely Linzerello.So much of what

she's said in both posts totally resonates with me.

See you in a fortnight!!!! xox

WI day

2011-07-29T17:16:00.003+01:00

I have my laptop back and fixed! YAY!

Unfortunately I have to report a pound gain this week.Could've been worse though,that gym damage limitation did salvage a bit.And usually if I fell off the wagon on Sunday I would eat my body weight in Ben and Jerry's till WI Fri.

Just trying to focus on the small victories and deflect the feelings of failure ;P

As for other news,the visa ball is well and truly rolling and we will hopefully be lodging it at the beginning of September.Such a mountain of paperwork and evidencing considering we are 2 professionals,no kids,with savings and one of whom is an Aussie :S

And Mum is STILL going on about the wedding dress.....

Happier news

2011-07-26T19:25:00.001+01:00

I lost 2 lb's at last weigh in making it 2 consecutive weeks of 2 lb losses :D

Not sure how I will do this week,working hard at the gym and trying to recoup calories/points after a total mojito fest at Boteco Brazilian bar for the Merchant City festival on Sunday.

It was gorgeously sunny and HOT which is a very rare occurrence in Scotland.....in fact it's been a record 4 day summer so far this year!

So we shall see how we go..,..

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-07-24T21:03:00.001+01:00

Well the world is still reeling from the shock of the tragedy in Norway and Amy Winehouse sadly not surprising early death.

I loved Amys style (of course!),soulful voice,painfully raw lyrics and the fact she wasn't a cookie cutter pop princess.

I just feel so sorry for her family who had to watch on as she destroyed herself.She had so many chances and the resources in life to get help and get clean.

OK,you may say I'm addicted to food and have tried many attempts to curb my addiction.True.I am also far from an angel and am a (well in my younger days) 'try anything once,twice,thrice' kinda gal.luckily those days are behind me and I am now sensible and dare I say it,grown up!!!!

Fortunately/unfortunately I've seen addiction take hold of one of my closest friends.I've dealt with the violence,the lies....oh my God the lies that go with addiction!The emotional blackmail,guilt trips,the Jekyll and Hyde personality,the constant phone calls from worried parents,from bosses as they once again didn't wake up from last nights bender and were late again,the constant worry that the next phone call was going to be bad news,not being able to trust any of the words that would come out of their mouth.Spending what was meant to be a fun night out with friends babysitting your friend and hoping to hell they dont tet into serious trouble.Watching on as they would rather spend their last pennies on their poison than on food if they even ate at all.

The helplessness as you watch a dear friend lose themselves further and further into the depths of addiction and knowing that you can't do anything because YOU CAN NOT HELP SOMEONE WHO WON'T HELP THEMSELVES.

I eventually cut my losses and cut my friend out of my life after one too many lies,and one too many chances to be let down again.I feel guilty about it to this day but you can't help someone who will not help themselves and believe me we tried and tried and tried.

I hope that Amy finds the peace she lacked in life.I hope that my friend,wherever he may be has found his peace too.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Mothers!!!!!!!!

2011-07-11T19:55:00.001+01:00

I was doing sooooooooo well today.Eats are angelic and abig half hour walk.Then I spoke to my mother.

How do mothers have the ability to make you feel like shit even when you have lived on the other side of the world for 7 years and are a 31 year old woman?!?!?!

She doesn't like my wedding dress and actually said 'Its ok,we have plenty of time to look for another dress'.

AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH Mother,you are Fcuking lucky it's not leopard print with a fire engine red petticoat!!!!!!!

And yes,that was a serious option.

I'm off to sew something before I mindlessly start eating my feelings.Whose wedding is it anyways?!?!?!?!?!?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Still Internet-less

2011-07-08T21:02:00.001+01:00

Hola!

I'm still around but the laptops still I'll :( I really miss reading all your gorgeous blogs.

I can happily report 2 lbs lost and I seem to be getting (slowly) back into the swing of things.

My gorgeous wedding dress arrived today,size 16 Collectif dress.9 months to fit into it!

I'll hopefully be properly online soon and doling out some proper posts.

Xox

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The best,cheap,cheerful dinner EVER!

2011-06-13T19:33:00.001+01:00

Grill some vine tomatoes-cherry or plum.Preferably plum.Chopped in half,tossed in a bit of ground pepper,sea salt,garlic,parsley or herbs of your choice and a teeny drizzle of olive oil.

Grill them till they are slightly charred......or not,just grill them to your satisfaction.Chargrill is approximately 10 mins on a high setting.

Once grilled,smash them up and serve with pasta of your choice.

8 PP :D

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-06-12T18:32:00.001+01:00

I've buggered up my borrowed laptop ........
sigh.Will hopefully be back soon.

I've bought my frangipani wedding dress,set a date for the big day,stocked my fridge with enough fruit and veg and tofu I could set up a hippie commune.Planned my meals for the week,got my gym schedule written out and am hoping these next 9 months won't be a total FAIL like the last 6 years.

And I came across this beautiful quote......

"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Xox Ms Frangipani

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

London Town

2011-05-31T17:31:00.005+01:00

The Scotsman and I are on the night bus to London tonight for 4 days of being tourists,escaping Glasgow greyness and general debauchery and decadence.

Oh,and yeah,the first step of our visa process.EEK! All going well,hopefully this time next year I will be married and living a lovely hippie-punk life in Kiama.

Anyways,being the geeks that we are,we are hitting the Natural History Museum,Emirates Stadium for him (I must clarify I am not an Arsenal fan - the EPL bores me if I'm honest),hopefully some sun in Hyde Park and just being happily lost tourists eating our way through the delights we can't get in the culinary abyss that is Glasgow.

If there's any hidden gems that we must absolutely see please drop me a line.
Oh,And I am off to track down the new Grace Kelly 'To Catch a Thief' barbie.I've developed a habit of collecting fierce bitches in plastic form (and yes,she was a princess and oh so elegant but to me,Grace Kelly is still a fierce beeatch - and that is meant in the most complimentary way.)

Lovely dress.

2011-05-26T09:49:00.005+01:00

I <3 this dress.....................

Claire Pettibone

It is way out of my budget though.Le sigh.

Hola! And a lil' frangipani obsession.......

2011-05-25T20:23:00.005+01:00

Firstly I have to say CONGRATULATIONS to the fabulous and gorgeous Linzerello on her engagement and her fantastic loss so far.

Well,after a long absence due to total shame and embarrassment of falling of the wagon for yet the millionth time I am back and will keep climbing this here damn weight loss mountain till I win!

Yes,I'm an Aries.Too stubborn and determined for my own good sometimes.

And thank you Miss Margarita for kicking my ample ass into gear

And,I think I may have found my (registry) wedding dress........and it's got frangipanis on it!!!!!! FRANGIPANIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is totally epic in my world.Oh yeah,I blogged about it before,didn't I? Well that's the kind of delirium that a lack of frangipani's and hibiscus for 7 years has done to me.

Anyways,enough floral talk.

Well,the budget cuts have come into effect at work and it's probably been for the best.Yeah my wallet has shrunk from a 'beer wallet (as in 'champagne taste,beer wallet') to a buckfast wallet.Don't know about the Scottish delight that is buckfast? Check this................

However I am less psychotically stressed out and seeing the lovely Scotsman on a regular basis.And I have my Sundays back after 13 years which may be slightly,but only just,more epic than frangipani wedding dresses.

The Scotsman and I have a whole week off together starting Saturday afternoon at 5pm and we are hitting London town.Not much relaxation for us though,it's all in the name of his Aussie visa.Recently I feel my life has been consisting of sleep,work,visa stuff,sleep,work,visa stuff,sleep,work visa stuff..............

Fingers crossed it will all be worth it in the end.We dream of a hippy punk lifestyle.Veggie patch in the garden,morning walks on the Kiama beach with a Harlequin great dane,sunshine and frangipanis in the air,me cooking and baking for all my loved ones and him doing all the cleaning ;P And maybe a wee baby frangipani one day............................

2011-05-20T15:55:00.003+01:00

I was going to go back to the gym today but apparently there's a small chance of an apocalypse tomorrow and we could all..............well,you know...............die.

Should the Apocalypse not eventuate I shall resume tomorrow with the wedding dress plan of action (i.e. re-start 2,089,756).

In the meantime,check this out for major food envy........ 365 days of breakfasts Seriously making me re-contemplate my breakfasts or lack thereof.

Blogging will resume after the Rapture.........or not.

O.M.G

2011-05-10T18:52:00.003+01:00

I have just discovered where I can buy a frangipani print - pin up - wiggle dress,featured on the cover of Vintage Life magazine.

This has been motivation enough for me to go for a long walk and eat a salad for dinner.

Total FAIL!

2011-05-07T20:28:00.003+01:00

Sorry I've been away so long and dropped off the blogosphere.

I've been in a self imposed exile as I was so ashamed of being a total FAIL on the weight loss front.I have so much to tell you all and lot's of photos to share on what you are about o read but I've lost my camera USB.Promise they will come soon once I haul my ass to Boots to put them on a CD.

So much has happened since my last post on stress..........

I turned 31.

My awesome wee sister whisked me away to Barcelona for 3 days as a birthday surprise where much stalking of Messi,Iniesta and Villa ensued..........as well as much inebriation and gluttony.

The cuts have come into work and I think I will be able to get by on what I've got.

The Scotsman and I now have every Saturday night and Sunday off together.

I'm feeling so much happier and stressing far less,though I'm probably a stone heavier :( FAIL!

I.GOT.PROPERLY.ENGAGED!!!!!!! The ring hasn't left my finger since.

Stress!!!!!

2011-03-27T17:21:00.004+01:00

UGH! Thank feck that week is OVAH! It's been a horrible,horrible week and as a result I've ate everything in site to combat my emotions.Yes,I know it's totally the wrong thing to do,but I had literally no time to go to the gym or do anything active to get out the stress and rrrrrrrrage.

I know I need to get on top of the emotional binge eating but I just don't know what I can do,short of seeing a shrink! I've mentioned before,but I am soooooo unhappy at work and getting unhappier by the minute.

To summarise,I took a total tumble down the career ladder when I came to Scotland and have now hit a brick wall and can go no further.There is no point me studying any further here,as we (all goes well) will be outta here by the end of the year and my workplace,as with most others,stipulate that I would need to stay 2 years if they put me through my SVQ,plus it takes at least a year.

And the annoying thing is I have ample qualifications and training and experience,both from here and Oz,just not a damn SVQ.So long story short,I have been working 50 - 60 hour weeks for the last 2 years and still don't have a full time contract.I work my arse off and am totally underpaid and undervalued.I work with challenging children who are 2:1 ratio in school and yet I am expected to deal with them and take them out into the community on my own,and I'm seeing people with half the experience and training I have in full time contracts or managerial positions and colleagues totally taking the piss with sick pay and work in general.

And if I hear one more manager saying 'well we're all lucky to have jobs' I am gonna be dragged off by the men in white suits.

I know it's a really hard time economically and people are really struggling for jobs,but sometimes I feel companies (not just mine,but the Scotsman's and friends etc) are just using this to take the piss and make us work like donkeys.

I am actually getting to the point where I am contemplating chucking in support work altogether.What else I would do,I don't know,but I would even happily take a job at Asda or something if it meant a stress free 7 months till we get to Sydney and I work my way up again.

Which brings me to the next moan.My heart is just not in Glasgow.I want to be home.I want sunshine and beaches.I want 40 hour,5 day weeks.I want double the pay I'm earning now (yes my pay would literally double).I want regular time with the Scotsman not a day or afternoon snatched once every 10 days.I want a nice 2 bedroom house,not a flat share.I want to be able to afford to go out on a regular basis.I want 17% tax and no National Insurance. I just don't want to be here.

I know that I'm lucky I have a roof over my head in a huge tenement flat,with chilled out flatmates,full cupboards,a wonderful partner and sister who moved to the other side of the world for me,but I can't help feeling this down.I don't feel like I am living,but merely existing here. So,that's where I'm at and why the horrendous week.Thankfully the damage was only 1lb gained.

Still not an excuse tho.I need to shake off this dark cloud and get on with weight loss and getting to the gym and trying to focus on positives in my life.

2011-03-25T18:53:00.002Z

Totally shit week both diet and work/mood wise and tomorrow I'm being dragged off to Mcfly.................Monday it's Eliza Doolittle and yet no one will accompany me to Cradle of Filth or Rob Zombie?!?!?!?

Anyways,I have so much to rant about,both weight wise and non weight related but that's for Sunday arvo.

xox

Saturday WI

2011-03-21T13:39:00.002Z

Stayed the same.Pretty pissed off,I don't understand how -intense exercise 4 days of 7.Stayed within points and didn't touch activity points.At least it's not a gain,but I still thought there would be something lost.

In the grand scheme of things I know it's a minor pain in the arse compared to what other people are going through,so I'm off to make a meal and gym plan for the week and try and look forwards.

xox

WI.............

2011-03-16T21:10:00.004Z

In more positive news,I lost 2 lb's which brings a loss of 6 lb's in 2 weeks! I've finally broken the stone barrier which has eluded me the last year.

I've also been to the gym 4 days out of 5 (!!!!!) and worked really intensely.....in fact I nearly ran for a few seconds on the treadmill.Thought better of it though,as for 1) I would've ended up with 2 black eyes,and 2)I don't think my poor joints are ready for my jelly at speed higher than a power walk.

I'm thinking about booking in for a personal training session every 2 months or so.At £28 they're quite pricey,but I feel I'm kinda clueless.Generally I do 1 hour or more of cardio,then about 15 mins of weights,then sometimes a quick swim.I don't know if I'm doing the right weights though and how many I should be doing etc.Plus I need some sort of lower back strengthening program as my back is still a little tender,2 days after a shift at a house where there's some pretty intense (and most probably illegal!) manual handling.Plus it will help me see how I'm progressing.

I've got a few uber easy,uber quick recipes to share,but I will have to post them another time as I am completely shattered after such intense physical exertion and an intense shift at work.Till next time!

xox

For Japan with Love

2011-03-16T20:15:00.006Z

Well first of all I have to start by saying I hope anyone reading this who has loved ones in Japan,I hope they are safe.I'm by no means religious at all,in fact this whole disaster makes me question it even more,but I do send prayers and good wishes Japan's way,and of course the people of Christchurch and NZ who are rebuilding their lives,physically and emotionally.

I will definitely be participating in this...................

Please check this for more information.xox

Green monsters and monter workouts

2011-03-09T09:15:00.010Z

I feel soooooooooo much better about things after having a wonderful girlie night.Lot's of good girlie chat and wedding porn.I'm addicted to rocknrollbride.com and my girlies came up with some more goods.I've got a few companies to ring up thanks to a colleague.So I'll just keep chugging away till something better comes along.

Hauled my ass to the gym in the near cyclone conditions Glasgow is having.Epic 90 minute workout! 50 mins on the treadmill and 25 mins cross trainer.My eyes are currently being held open by match sticks,I'm so exhausted.

Nothing like some fashion porn to kick a lady's butt into gear.My colleague and I took one of the ladies out for a post of lunch and window shopping at Debenhams.LOVE Star by Julien Macdonald especially that dress.And H by Henry Holland has some absolutely adorable pin up style pieces.

Eating wise I've been mega good,though I had porridge for dinner.The weather outside was so horrible it was just what I wanted and filled me up,staving off the chocolate.

Oh and I made my first ever Green Monster.It was divine!

OK,It's not very green but there was 2 handfuls of spinach in there.Plus 1 handful each of frozen mango,strawberries and blueberry mix.Teaspoon cashew nut butter and kara coconut milk.I'm already looking forward to tomorrows!

I love these things.so..........................

2011-03-08T20:42:00.004Z

A. Age: 30 - 31 in a month
B. Bed size: Queen
C. Chore you dislike: Everyone of them!
D. Dogs: The Scotsman and I dream of owning a Great Dane one day,I want a chocolate brown one to be christened 'Coco Muffin' but I've been vetoed.
E. Essential start to your day: Real,proper,coffee.No instant shite.With German coffee cream.
F. Favorite color: Purple and Turqouise
G. Gold or silver: Silver!
H. Height: 5'6 I think
I. Instruments you play(ed): Not a musical bone in my body
J. Job title: Support worker,children and adults.
K. Kids: No thanks.Tho I do think we would make uber cute mixed,mixed race babies.But then the European gene would be totally dominant.I don't know.I'm so curious I loved mixed babies.
L. Live: Glasgow,Scotland
M. Mothers name: Jane
N. Nicknames: Schatzi.No one but my collegues or people who don't know me call me Steph/anie.Even my friendsMy name in the family has been Schatzi since I was a wee wean...........I know I'm in trouble when I get called Stephanie
O. Overnight hospital stays: Once when I was wee - asthma related
P. Pet peeves: Ignorance.
Q. Quote from a movie: Wayyyyyy too many to mention
R. Righty or lefty: Right
S. Siblings: One gorgeous wee sister.
T. Time you wake up: Anywhere between 6am and 1pm
U. Underwear: None ;)
V. Vegetables you don’t like: Sprouts and courgettes,turnips.
W.What makes you run late: My general scattiness and disorganised state of mind and physical surroundings.
X. X-rays you’ve had: Dentist,broken leg when I was wee.
Y. Yummy food you make: My spring rolls (proper Indonesian ones),lasagne,satay,fried rice are much requested,but especially spring rolls.If I do say so myself my baking is phenomenal,my fudgy chocolate cale with fresh cream and raspberries would be the most requested tho - and self saucing chocolate pudding.Why am I fat????????? ;P
Z. Zoo animal favorites: I always feel morally wrong visiting zoos,but of course it's a tiger.Followed by orangutans.

Eating My Feelings

2011-03-08T20:00:00.004Z

Today a colleague was complimenting me on my weight loss.I can't see it,and I have been yo - yoing up and down like crazy,but she assures me that it is visible that my body shape is changing.She's not the only one who's noticed so maybe it's true.

Coincidentally it's been since Feb when I have been doing uber amounts of walking for work,mostly while pushing wheelchairs.

Anyways,as ladies do we got onto weight loss and eating etc. and we were discussing our horrendous weekends (eating wise) and M hit the nail on the head....."No wonder,you were probably eating coz you were pissed off.I know I was"

It's so true.Staff morale is very low and all us ladies are eating the house out.I am really unhappy with work at the moment.I know we have less than a year if all goes to plan,but my wages have dropped a couple of hundred quid so I really can't stick it out.

If it was job dissatisfaction and a decent wage,I could deal with it.But not working all month unhappily and stressed out for little financial reward.

Plus,I'm hardly seeing the Scotsman.It's gone from once every week to once every 10 days to 2 weeks!!!!!! And of course,it's all due to work.Add onto that the stress of the whole visa process and the pennys finally dropped that I'm eating my feelings.

You've all probably noticed it's been a running theme over the last year or so.I just thought I was being an absolute tit and self sabotaging.

Take Saturday night for instance.I indulged in gluweine mit schuss (mulled wine with an added 'something' of your choice.Mine of course is blueberry/apple/raspberry vodka) a habit we picked up at the wonderful Xmas markets in Berlin.Plus I had my beloved Rekordelig strawberry and lime,some german frikadellen.........on bread rolls.Followed by a bar of Consious raw chocolate . This flavour was DELICIOUS by the way.Please don't be put off by the algae.Fcukin gorgeous! I suppose every time I see my gorgeous Scot,as it's so few a far between,I see it as a wee mini celebration.And because I'm so happy I indulge.

The theme continued till Monday morning when we parted ways for another 10 days.I had a stressful day at work,was sooooooo cold as I hadn't dressed for the weather and was just generally on a comedown from departing from my Scotsman.

So instead of going to the gym and working that stress off to some good old metal (yes,it does de-stress me) I came home and ate.

ARGH! So what to do about it?????????? I want to try and learn crocheting after seeing this post. Is it not the most adorable thing you have ever seen? I need something to keep my hands busy and my mind occupied......besides the gym.

Well,I'm of to mull over strategies to combat the emotional eating,when I'm both happy and sad.

xox

2011-03-07T21:08:00.003Z

UGH! After a near angelic week culminating in a 4 lb loss I've been totally crap with the eating and drinking on the weekend.............well Sat. night and Sun.At least Saturday wasn't a total write off.

Failed to go to the gym today.Was famished after work and so came home and ate crap instead.ARGH! Plan to walk to work tomorrow and gym Weds,Thurs,Fri to try and repair some of the damage.

Any tips on how to eat well when in a relationship with a hunk a spunk o' Scottish beefcake that can eat whatever he wants and never put weight on,please send them my way.

Day 2 - 30 days of photos

2011-03-06T14:33:00.005Z

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest

This is my best friend Stef.We've known each other for 14 years,and while we may have not known each other the longest out of my close friends,she s the only one who really 'gets' me.She's the only one to have made an effort to consistently keep in touch by any means necessary over the last 7 years I've been overseas and she is the only one to have made the effort to come and visit me.I can tell her absolutely anything in the world and know that she will inderstand and be non judgemental.She's the best friend a girl could ever have.She is my kindred spirit and I love her to bits.

2011-03-04T18:52:00.001Z

EPIC workout tonight.......well for a first week back.40 min treadmill and 20 min cross trainer.Loadsa walking throughout the day.

Near angelic,near vegan eating today.

A date night in with myself tonight-Rekordelig strawberry and lime cider,roasted gnocchi (recipe when I get the laptop up and running) with broccoli and some raw chocolate for dessert.Will let you all know what a chocoholic like me thinks of the raw stuff.

Off for a well needed shower.xox

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

This could only happen to me........

2011-03-02T08:10:00.001Z

The borrowed laptop that I have been ever so careful with has gone kaput!Well the laptop is ok,it's just the plug won't charge.Changed the fuse to no avail,ordered a new charger/plug from EBay so hopefully that will be problem solved.

So it will be short and sweet posts from the iPod for the mo.Sushi was a success,and scaring easy.The hardest thing is getting the rolling right,or that may just be clumsy me as I was using a proper sushi mat.It's probably easy.......if you're coordinated.

No gym yesterday or today due to long days,but definitely morrow and fri.The weekend is out as I have my first sat night and sun off with the Scotsman in yonks!

Going to make him sit down and read the visa application and info cover to cover......all 100 odd pages of it!

Promise sushi recipe and photos will come soon and I will try and reply to all your lovely comments either tonight or tomorrow.xox

*******I've now decided to haul my ass to the gym tonight.No excuses-it's open till 9.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The gym turned my brain to mush........

2011-02-28T11:04:00.002Z

Short and I will admit kinda boring post.Sorry!

I went to the gym after my sleepover shift this morning.The first time since Xmas (disgraceful!) 45 mins walking and 15 mins on the cross trainer.Thought I would ease myself in again,but my pace and intensity was surprisngly higher than I thought.

Vegetables and fish have now invaded my fridge and I am determined to finally make sushi tonight so I don't end up eating crap when I'm on community support shifts tomorrow.We are entitled to a meal out with our service users,some days,such as tomorrow,that means lunch AND dinner.Not good.

Hopefully the next time I post,I will have photos to post of some kick ass home made sushi.

xox

30 days of photos

2011-02-26T19:05:00.005Z

Inspired by Rapunzel and after having researched this and found the Facebook page,here is the first of the 30 days of Photos.........

Day 1:A picture of yourself with 10 facts..............

1. I'm a very typical fiery Aries,yet at work I have the patience of a saint.

2. I never thought I would fall in love before I was in my 30's and certainly never thought I would be planning my marriage........EVER! I was so determined to see as much of the world as I could and not let a partner get in the way till I was at least in my mid thirties.

3 .Despite this I've always been a hopeless romantic and adore old,traditional fairy tales.The more tragic the better,Like the original Little Mermaid or Victor Hugo's Hunchback of Notre Dame.

4. Despite being a total water baby and loving nothing better than swimming in the ocean,I will absolutely freak out if I cant touch the bottom and have a fear of open water.

5. I was a painfully shy child.My Scotsman still doesn't believe this.

6. I have never,ever worn a bikini.Even at my slimmest.I can't wait for the day that I do.

7. I feel more beautiful with tattoos,yet I love the fact that (until last year) my Scotsman was a completely blank canvas.

8. I actually went through a very butch phase for a few years in high school.Still totally loved all the old school glamour and Marilyn and Dietrich but totally dressed like a dude.My girliness evolved as I left high school and grew comfortable within my sexuality.Don't ask me the logic behind this.

9. If I could,I would wear ballgowns and tiaras every day ala Moira Shearer in the Red Shoes.The scene where she runs up a million steps to the beautiful old mansion,and shes in a beautiful flowing chiffon gown and tiara,...............just because.

10. I love old school kung fu movies and wish I could kick ass like Bruce Lee.

Jobs,jobs,jobs...........

2011-02-26T18:40:00.004Z

GAH! I need a new job but most support worker roles need an SVQ or some sort of qualification.12 years experience with the most challenging and medically needy of children and adults count for nothing if you don't have that piece of paper it seems.

Sorry,I don't mean to sound like I'm belittling qualifications,but it's very frustrating that I've had to take huge steps BACK down the career ladder (I used to be a team leader/manager in Oz,working my way up after 6 years) since I've come to the UK.I get frustrated with the fact that someone with little or no experience can come in and be a manager/team leader and yet my 12 years counts for nothing.All I can become is a support worker for average pay,no chances of working up the way.

Och well.One day (hopefully) I will have saved enough money to go back to Uni and put myself through a Child Psychology degree,specialising in early intervention for children with Autism.Yep,I'm a girl who knows what she wants.

In the meantime,I'm spending my Sat night in with a glass of rose,flat to myself and searching through job listings.It's been pretty fruitless so far,so I may just stick with the job I have.Hmmmmmmm..........................

Eating wise,I've been good,all within points.Gym time planned for the month.Nothing else to report tonight.I'm being a boring old fart.

xox

............ Health MOT's,peace love and mungbeans and more wedding stuff

2011-02-25T12:52:00.008Z

Today I went to the family planning clinic for a sexual health MOT.

My blood pressure is higher than it should be and I've been told to see the doctor about this and my weight.Fucking hell,I'm 30!That's a bloody big scare and it's got to keep me motivated more than a wedding dress.

Spurred on by this I visited Glasgow's most well known local organic-fairtrade-healthy hippie store as it was just around the corner.Funny side story:of all the hub clinics I could've chosen I've been unknowingly going to the central one that's predominantly frequented by Glasgow's prostitutes,or 'night butterflies' as they are called in Indonesia.I amused myself by trying to decipher who in the waiting room were working girls and who weren't.

But back to Grassroots.I love looking a other peoples grocery hauls on their blogs - Laura is particularly good.So here's my haul/food porn..............and please excuse my stained sofa

Organic fruit purees which I love -kinda like grown up baby food ;P Apple and strawberry,apple and plum and apple and mango.Miso soup,dried apricots to go in my Palestinian Organic Couscous.I was attracted to them as the grains are 3 times the size of normal cous cous and they are made by a Palestinians women collective.Also some low salt organic chicken stock and soya coffee cream.I'm addicted to this stuff after Germany.They don't really use milk in their coffees and coffee=proper ground stuff,not instant.Divine!Hopefully the soya stuff is just as good - I'm hoping so as it's German.

In My fridge are a couple of boxes of marinated tofu,organic soy blueberry yogurt and soy apricot and guava yogurts.YAY! GUAVA! And yes,seeing as it's Friday night and my sister is coming over for girlie time there are my favourite Rekordelig Strawberry and Lime ciders.

And heaven sent Lidl.Got 2 punnets of blueberries mega cheap (99p),for freezing.Golden kiwis which I have never tasted before.Cauliflower,broccoli,organic carrots and cucumber in the fridge.I always feel dirty if I spend too long picking a cucumber ;P Plus I got that punnet of mixed plum,cherry and golden tomatoes.

I've also finally got my rota for the coming month.Work is a lot less crazy thanks or no thanks to the budget cuts to care,but on a plus side I have a hell of a lot more time for the gym.

Oh,and I wont be getting the shoes till next month as I found the most gorgeous handmade,one off headpiece to wear.I have been a longtime blog follower and admirer of the darling Frollein Von Sofa.Her hats are beautiful works of art and I have seen so many that I wish to own.When I saw this post however,I just knew that the last hat had to be mine!

Raspberries,white flowers and a wee veil! It's perfect.I love the fact that it has flowers,but not frangipanis which is what everyone would be expecting of me.Raspberries,which after mangoes and chocolate are possibly my favourite food in the world.And the wee veil with polka dots is just too damn cute.A nod to tradition without being totally traditional.

I just cant believe I have a whole year to wait to wear it..........and it totally ties in with the shoes :D

2011-02-23T20:14:00.012Z

Ok,so now we need to tackle the weight loss catch up.

I'm over the Scotsman's comment now.The truth hurts and he was right,I have been totally fucking about and that pretty much continued through January till now.Don't get me wrong,I was positively angelic the first few weeks of January (aren't we all?) but totally went on a healthy/junky eating roller coaster from then.

I was too ashamed to admit this,and nearly wasn't going to confess,but I always promised you guys I would be honest................

In a bout of New Year Dietary Desperation I actually went out and bought some Tony Ferguson soups and shakes.I lasted 2 days.I don't know why I did it.I know it's a load of shit.I know what I should and shouldn't do.I'm the girl that's constantly lecturing my younger sister and younger colleagues about how crap these fad diets are and how they don't work and that healthy eating and exercise are the only way to go.I know that exercising and cutting down on crap is what works for me.I know that I can still eat my chocolate as long as i hit the gym and be good with all my other meals.I KNOW that's what works.Not some meal replacement shite!

But yeah,I had a momentary lapse of sanity and bought into the BS.Needless to say the bag is languishing in a corner of my room.Don't know quite what to do with it.

Plus,I never realised how much I rely on this blog to keep me accountable.I've missed it and I've missed all your wonderful blogs.

So here's hoping that a wedding dress and coming back to Sydney a total pin up girl stunner will be motivation enough coz I don't know what more a girl could need to kick her up the arse.

Oh,and I've totally found my wedding shoes! YAY! I saw a beautiful dress I lurved but it doesn't go with the shoes.And the shoes are so awesome that the outfit has to be worked from the shoes upwards......................

They are Irregular Choice (of course,I can't afford Louboutins,so these are my substitute addiction) and look like they have a glass heel!!!!!!!! And they have GIANT flowers and totally go with the dress in my head ;P

My sister thinks I'm loca because I am seriously contemplating buying these beeeeeyoooootiful babies on Friday.We are having a text message/picture message debate as we speak.

But I totally HEART them,they are sooooooooo me,thy don't involve leopard print which I've been kinda forbidden from wearing for the wedding......in any way whatsoever.

What do you guys reckon? Or is that kinda bunny boilerish? :O

.....................ARGH MEN!!!!!

2011-02-22T10:37:00.004Z

Last night I was telling the Scostman how I vow to be healthy and fit again and how much easier it is to be active and eat healthily in Australia and that I will be giving up smoking and general crap when we are at home and swimming and walking more in the sun and surf.

He said (incredulously in a loud Scottish voice) 'You've been trying to be healthy for the last 3 years!!!!!!!'

He has not been seen since.

Seriously tho,I was kinda quite hurt from this flippant remark.I know it's my fault that I've not been disciplined and keep losing and regaining this same stone for the last 3 years,but it still cut to the bone.To hear from him that he's noticed my prolonged failure at weight loss.

Once the hurt subsided,I know he's right.I NEED to stop fucking about.3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....................................Awwwww,shucks.

2011-02-21T19:46:00.004Z

Wow ladies,it's so lovely to come back online after a near 3 month absence and read your lovely comments and have been missed in cyber world.Thank you!

Well,I don't even know where to begin.Sooooooooo much to tell you all so I will start with the non -weight related stuff.Grab yourself a cuppa coz this is gonna be a long one.

I had an absolutely FAB time in Berlin with the family,ate myself silly on all the gorgeous,hearty German food and managed to not gain too much in the process.In fact,I think it was only 2 lb's which is miraculous considering the way Germans eat in winter.Surprisingly we never saw any fat Germans.If my family are anything to go by though,Pa Barchen (my dad) included,it's because of all the physical activity they do,even in the snow and ice.They are hardcore,man!!!!!!!! And they forced me into their hardcore winter fitness ways too.

Quite unfairly awarded the stereotype of the fat,beer guzzling,carnivores I was so amazed at how resilient Berliners are in the cold.People were constantly out jogging (?!?!?!?!?) and hiking,ski-walking etc.Anything active that could be done in the snow and they were there.

I also had one of the most awesome New Years in my entire life and without sounding terribly cheesy and sentimental the trip really changed the dynamic of my relationship with my German family and my father.And the Scotsman and my father bonded like never before,totally cementing in his head that he is now ready to seriously make the move to Australia.

Sooooooo,visa forms are printed out and fingers crossed,all goes well we will be home for Xmas.Which is a pretty concrete goal in weight loss terms.I know I most probably wont be at goal but hopefully will be somewhat slimmed down as we are looking at getting committed in February.EEK! Yes,looking at our options,we have decided to go for the 'Prospective Marriage Visa'.This stipulates that once our visa is granted we need to get married within 9 months and can then go for the permanent visa.

I was so freaked out about telling the Scotsman about this option but he is totally up for it and it was his idea to have the ceremony in February!!!!! Ours has never been a conventional relationship.The best of friends for 2 years when we finally got together we both knew that we would eventually get married and spend the rest of our lives in Australia.

Now that it's finally happening I'm getting a little freaked out! In a good way of course.I guess it's all the anxiety about this visa too.I won't be able to properly relax until we actually get the visa in our hot little hands.

Sooooo,and it's so weird and freaky saying this,I kinda have a wedding dress to fit into!!!!!!

All my life I was always adamant that I would never get married.My sister never ceases to remind me that I always thought it was the most utterly conventional,unromantic thing ever.I always thought of it as just a piece of paper to commit to societies conventions.

Then of course the Scotsman turned my world on it's head and I came round to thinking I would like to make the ultimate commitment,declaring our love proudly in front of our loved ones.Fast forward a few years and I am now a fully fledged sap who wants nothing more than to get married.

I've come to realise that it's not 'just a piece of paper'.I've come round to thinking it IS the most beautiful,romantic and rock n roll thing ever.and we don't have to have a conventional ceremony to fit societies norms.Our ceremony will be about us and how WE want it done.

A declaration of love and commitment and wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone who still makes my stomach flip when he walks through the door.............and to quote The Little Prince 'Love does not consist in gazing at each other,but in looking outward together in the same direction'.

2011-02-21T13:01:00.001Z

I have a (borrowed temporarily) laptop back! YAY!

And I lost 4 lb's last week.Double awesomeness.Now I'm off to catch up on all your blogs that I've missed and will blog soon.xox

################# Ich bin ein Berliner Bärchen

2010-12-30T16:26:00.003Z

Having such an über wünderbar time in Berlin I really don't want to go back to dreary Glasgow.

Hope everyone had a fab Festive season and all the best to my lovely readers for 2011 in health and happiness.

P.S I think with the amount of hiking through thick,deep snow,I may just have burned off all the mulled wine and hearty German food I've been eating.........fingers x'd

xoxoxo

Please be patient!

2010-12-16T18:51:00.001Z

I'm still alive and kicking.my laptop is kaput and I therefore have no proper Internet/blog access.I miss reading all your blogs but I will be back in the new year.In the meantime I'm off to Berlin for my first Xmas with my family in SEVEN years!Have a great Xmas everyone and I'll see you all in cyberspace very soon.xx

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-11-19T18:14:00.007Z

I called in sick yesterday,not that I really was.I was just mentally exhausted and quite frankly my mind was telling me I needed a day off.

Instead of catching up on sleep and having a leisurely lie in,my body clock must be so damn used to getting up early that I was awake at 8:15am!So I faffed about and had a relaxed morning,finally got around to making some Apple and Cinnamon pancakes that I bought on a whim from the local natural food store. Yes,they are from a box and they came in at 7 points for a (HUGE) pancake,but they were so freaking good! Fluffy just like the American style pancakes you get at restaurants............and this day off was the equivalent of a Sunday off for me,so a little decadence was called for.

Another mega gym session - SIXTY MINUTES ON THE CROSS TRAINER!!!!! When I first started I could barely do 5 mins! Followed by 30 mins treadmill and about 20 mins of weights.Now slap on a pair of bunny ears and a cotton tail and call me a Gym Bunny :D

The gym is now non negotiable for me.I need to do it and I need to do it whole heartedly,not only for vanity and weight loss but for my health.I can no longer rely on being young,not that 30 is massively old but you know what I mean.I need to face the reality that I can't continue eating and being slovenly the way I have been and more importantly the gym is an outlet for what would otherwise turn into comfort eating - home sickness,loneliness,boredom and SAD.So maybe that's the reason I've been going so hardcore lately,it's an outlet for my stress and frustrations.

I still have to find the courage to join the Body Balance class.I am so scarily uncoordinated that I'm scared I'd accidentally kick someone in the face or body slam them into the wall.So I'll just concentrate on the swimming,weights and cardio for the moment.

In other news,my life is pretty boring at the mo.Staying in and saving the pennies as it's sooooooo bitterly cold and Mum and Dad are finally coming to Glasgow in a couple of weeks and we will be having our first Xmas together in nearly 7 years,in Berlin :D Can't wait.As you all know I LOVE Berlin,but Berlin at Xmas will be magical.

Lastly,Claire has written an awesome post,go check it out.

2010-11-18T16:28:00.003Z

I love Pro Points!!!!!

Day early weigh in shows a loss of FOUR POUNDS!!!!!!!

I'm now at the lowest weight I have ever been for the last 2,possibly 3 years.

Another mega gym session - 30 mins treadmill -and I hit the highest pace I've ever managed on a treadmill.

40 mins X-trainer (!!!!!!!)

20 mins swim - I managed to do full laps without stopping.Again,something I've not been able to do since I left Sydney.

Anyways,all these wee mini achievments have left me totally knackered and today is my only day off for like 3 weeks,so I'll sign off for now.xox

Travels in Burma and Slothness

2010-11-17T18:11:00.006Z

Yesterday was a sleepover shift,but I managed to get one of my service users out for a 25 min walk X 2 to the swimming pool and back.50 mins exercise for the day :D Today I was meant to go to the gym,but just couldn't face it.After finishing at 8am I then had an Autism Awareness course for a full day (and after 12 years in the field I could write a book on Autism myself!).................after a 24 hour shift.My body and mind just couldn't hack it.........but I did manage to resist the chocolate biscuit tins all day.

I now have a wee dilemma - do I weigh in a day early or a day late? I'm thinking a day early.I'm seeing all these amazing first PP week losses and am so damn curious after all my sweaty betty sessions.

I worked in a flat that had Sky last night.Sky=LA Ink and Miami Ink back to back.Love,love LOVE it! It's so superficial but when I feel like giving up at the gym/pool I just keep thinking of my awesome sleeve and how it will look when I'm prancing about in my gorgeous Collectif dresses.

Lastly,I know that politics is a very divisive and emotive subject but I just have to express my admiration and happiness for Aung Aan Suu Kyi and the people of Burma.I travelled to Burma in 2004 and the decision wasn't taken lightly (along with China).Ethically I was torn but in the end I decided to go for it and I am so glad I did.

Some of my favourite and happiest backpacking memories - and the one scariest,were in Burma.I had so much fun teaching an English class in a Buddhist monastery,chatting with local biker boys over chai in wee street cafes and making right the wrongs in the world and especially Burma,in hushed tones over vegetarian dishes with some of the most resilient and strong women I have ever met.

I hope this a closer step to freedom for Burma and it's wonderful people.

********************** F*"$ing excellent day!

2010-11-15T20:17:00.005Z

Yesterday was a pretty f*^king epic day in Frangipani land.SO epic in fact,that the gratuitous use of expletives is needed.

So I worked 2 separate shifts yesterday,the last of which was just a hop,skip and a jump away from my flat.After 40 solid mins of pushing a wheelchair,instead of going home and having a lazy Sunday arvo,I went to the gym................and had a massive workout.

50 mins on the treadmill,40 MINUTES ON THE ELLIPTICAL/CROSS TRAINER!!!!!!!

So 130 minutes of exercise and staying within points,not even dipping into the weekly allowance for Sunday. Today was 50 mins treadmill,20 mins elliptical and 12 lengths of the pool after all that (plus a full shift at work) And again staying within points.Zero points fruit is AMAZING!

Sleepover shift tomorrow,but gym time scheduled for Weds. and Thurs.

I'm totally knackered but feel so damn good.Bring on the pin up goodness!

***************** I've become

2010-11-13T18:57:00.005Z

Image courtesy of Kitchen Retro

A cereal whore.

After years of not eating breakfast or leaving it until at least 3 hours after I'm awake,I am now in the habit of eating breakfast............healthy ones too.And cereal has replaced my chocolate addiction.YIKES! My shelf is lined with at least 6 differents varieties at the mo.I know I have to be careful of hidden sugars in cereal,but I do try to stick to muesli,shredded wheats with fruit,whole grains etc.

And thank feck for the free fruit as I am now having a banana with a generous tablespoon of Onken Fat Free Vanilla Yogurt as well.All that brekkie for only about 6 PP.And best of all it keeps me going till lunch.So I've been uber organised on the breakfast front -even weighing out my portions and transporting my Coconut milk to work.Speaking of which I'm loving the Kara Coconut Milk.As I've mentioned I'm trying to phase out dairy - tho Onken yogurts and Rachels Greek Coconut yogurt are just too divine to give up,and Kara is the best of the dairy free milks I've found,personally.

Now I just need to concentrate on portable lunches and dinners....................still not figured out what to do with the Honey Pomelo or Persimmon.

And I couldn't go to the gym due to work............................I missed it with a passion.............I think that's the first sign of the descent into madness!

************** Dedication is................

2010-11-11T17:25:00.013Z

A 70 minute cardio session and 20 minute swim after less than 3 hours sleep on a 16 hour sleepover shift.Traipsing backwards and forwards and backwards again to another gym because my local one is closed due to a fire in the sauna (?!?!?!?!) And yes,these were 2 completely separate events! I'm back on the wagon babeeeeeee!

Totally motivated and loving the new Pro Points plan - I have lost 2 lb's in 5 days!!!!!! (My WI day is Fri,but started new plan on Mon).FRUIT IS ZERO POINTS!!!!!! This makes for one happy Galah and so much easier for me to stick to plan.I've even managed to squeeze in Nigella's Strawberry and Almond Crumble for pudding tonight and stay within points.

I've been sticking to my cooking from scratch rule and eating so damn healthily I should be sainted................and it's all down to the free fruit rule.I've not even been tempted by CHOCOLATE,as I always have fruit on hand.In fact,I now have a Honey Pomelo and 2 Persimmon in my possession which I have no idea what to do with.What did we do before Google?

I'm really hoping this will be the last of many re-starts and I thank you loyal readers for sticking by me as the scales gone up and down and up and down and up and,hopefully for the last time,down again.

I'm continuing on my Operation Reclaim Pin Up Girl by indulging in buying new bras.When you're a big breasted lassie like me

(OK,for the record I'm a 38 HH),you will know how utterly depressing and heartbreaking,not to mention expensive it is,to buy bras that aren't frumpy and granny like.But I now am in possession of 4 new bosom enclosers,ranging from a gorgeous and sexy black and purple number to a funky and very 1940's style red and rose printed number to a very cutesy white lace and pale blue Stepford Housewife - in - a - good - way bra.

Extremely pleased,feeling uber sexy and pretty (depending on the bra ;P ) I'm also continuing to make sure that my nails are always lovely and painted and when not working I am getting myself all glammed up.All these little things to reclaim my former self and make myself feel good.............................whether I'm large or slim.xox

2010-11-08T16:39:00.003Z

Ok,so the new WW Pro Points plan is finally here.I'm liking the look of it so far,and it seems to be the fresh start and kick up the arse I need.I WILL GET MY TATTOO ONE DAY SOON !!!!!!!

Lot's to blog about,weight related and otherwise,but I'm off to read more about the new plan and will ramble more tomorrow after a gym visit (Now it's in writing I'm accountable!)
xox

If the rumours are true.......

2010-11-01T20:16:00.001Z

Fruit is going to be ZERO points on the new WW plan?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! Happy Days! :D

WI and gym bunniness.

2010-10-22T18:10:00.003+01:00

I know it's a day early,but I won't be able to weigh in tomorrow - 1 pound off! Not too shabby considering I've not been extremely vigilant with my eating (so hard to eat healthy on an extreme - week - till - pay - day budget)

I did another gym session today.25 mins each on the treadmill and cross trainer.Another session planned for Sunday and I'm going to start a fitness class.Moi! A gym class! It's body balance,just what I'm needing at the mo as work is uber stressful right now.Just a whole load of bitching from older women (45 +) who should know better.Usually I can let things wash over me and not get too stressed coz I just don't get involved,but it's getting really vicious lately.I just want to get through Xmas and then I may look for another job if things don't calm down.

Anyways,back to the class,apparently you don't have to be fit to do it so hopefully I don't make an absolute arse of myself.

Anyways,dinner calls so I shall sign off for now.xox

I have 100 followers!!!!!

2010-10-22T17:00:00.003+01:00

This is apparently a pretty monumental thing in blog land,soooooooooo watch this space as I will be having a wee,but very Miss Frangipani-esque giveaway for all you loyal followers who keep following the starts and re-starts and continue to amaze me by actually reading my ramblings and commenting.I truly do appreciate it and as such,before I forget,this giveaway will be open to any followers anywhere,as I know I have totally awesome readers from all over the planet.

No one I know,as in my face to face daily life knows that I blog............not even the Scotsman or wee sister Re.Even when I'm at home with my flatmates I try and not let them see any of the blog.I don't know about you guys,but I guess it's just because this is the one platform I have to be completely open and honest.And yes,the Scotsman and I know each other inside out,but being of the male variety he just does not 'get' this whole weight loss thing and everything it encompasses,psychologically as well as physically.

Maybe when I've actually made the half way point I'll tell him and Re about it.But for now,it's just me and you lovely readers :D xoxo

No more...................

2010-10-19T13:44:00.002+01:00

excuses,fart-arseing about or general laziness.

I walked down to the gym with my flatmate - an hours round trip.Then eased myself in with 25 mins power walk on the treadmill and 20 mins on the x-trainer.

Very chuffed with myself and all pumped and motivated to get back to operation pin up/gym bunny :D

Where I'm at............

2010-10-16T11:53:00.006+01:00

Well the semi - good news is that in 5 weeks of inactivity,excessive drinking and eating I've somehow managed to put on 2 lb's...............far less than I thought of physically feel.

The good news is that my eating has been on track for the last 3 days.Bad news is I haven't been to the gym - yet.I have the flat to myself today and have no intention of leaving the house whatsoever today and just being totally decadent.DVD's,face masks and WW message board and blog catch ups methinks.OH!And I've totally stuck to my no -ready meal challenge.

The last 2 weeks have been a total whirlwind.Worked a 75 hour week before my best friend came all the way from Sydney for a whirlwind 3 day trip.Intense eating,drinking and catching up.Then back to another chaotic week.

I have been relief,full time for the last 2 years and so work as many shifts as I can while they are going,as we have the threat of budget cuts looming over us.I have finally got a permanent contract - albeit 16 hours,but it's working with children which I much prefer.Unfortunately though,I still need to work crazy hours while they're going to make up to full time hours and to have a bit of a nest egg when the cuts come in.

So today will be a day of catching up and finding new blogs,planning meals and new recipes to try.Sorting out my diary with scheduled gym visits and just relaxing and re-charging and getting motivated and back on track!

2010-10-15T21:38:00.002+01:00

I don't know much about the ins and outs of American politics but this man is truly amazing.........

I know,I know.........

2010-10-09T20:02:00.002+01:00

I've been an extremely shite blogger/weight loser/gym bunny/pin up wannabe.

I had that damn chest infection for a week and the past week my fabulous best friend has been here all the way from Sydney.Cue a lame ass excuse to eat and drink as much as I wanted.And NO GYM!!!!!! FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a positive note.................I MISS THE GYM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate feeling sluggish and unfit.

I hate feeling bloated and crap from all the drinking and non - clean eating.

On another note.I've been doing something I haven't been doing for a while...........leaving the house with a full face of make up.

I'd fallen into the trap of thinking that I don't 'deserve' to look after myself or be pretty because I'm fat.I keep buying nice dresses and things in smaller sizes for when I lose weight and 'deserve' to look good,instead of focusing on looking nice NOW.I can't remember the last time I bought myself something nice to wear at night.I hadn't bought myself any new foundation or liquid eyeliner in a year because I didn't think I deserved to look pretty and take pride in my appearance and spend time on myself because I'm fat.It's so stoopid and irrational but it's changed in the last few weeks.

I went out and treated myself to a new,good foundation and bronzer.I finally bought the Shiseido liquid eyeliner I'd been wanting for ages and I've been taking time out and PRIDE in spending time on my appearance and getting myself all glammed up and pretty for ME.No one else but me.Although the compliments certainly do help ;P

And my thinking is turning.......I do deserve to be pretty and proud no matter what weight I am and I've made a vow to myself that I will spend time on myself more because it makes me feel good.As my favourite quote goes 'When I was 13 I became beautiful,not because I was,but because I CHOSE to be'.

2010-10-07T12:21:00.003+01:00

I'm back on the wagon people.Had a mega busy few weeks,finally feel back to full health and am ready to re-start operation Gym-Bunny.

Blog all on Saturday..................

Uber,uber,uber quick update!

2010-09-19T13:04:00.003+01:00

I finally am starting to feel (after nearly 3 weeks!) that this chest infection is going away and I'll be able to hit the gym soon.About time too,as I've managed to gain 2 lb's in these 3 weeks.

On Monday I'll hopefully also be hearing some good news work wise,so keep your fingers,toes crossed and send me some good vibes :D

That's all for now,as I am off to enjoy a decadent Sunday with my gorgeous man.

xox

I'm still here!

2010-09-13T14:06:00.003+01:00

Still coughing my lungs up,and still missing the gym.

It's been an eventful weekend.My German grandmother passed away peacefully in her sleep at the fantastic age of 91.We knew it was coming and she was tired of life and just wanted to join her beloved again.I can't even imagine the things she would've seen in her life and to have gone 25 years without her love by her side.

It wasn't so much of a shock as Om Ondos and to be honest,I wasn't as close to her as I would like to have been.She was so typically German and when we visited her or she visited us,she always kept us at arms length as she was afraid of getting too close and therefore making it harder to say goodbye and be so far apart.I never understood it and it's such polar opposites to my Indonesian grandmother.You would think being so far apart would make you more determined to forge a closer bond and make the most of the time spent together.I'm just happy we got to see her one last time,last summer and she got to meet the man who has made her oldest grand daughter so deliriously happy.

Speaking of which,it was his 36th birthday yesterday.Lucky B*d looks not a day over 25 and still gets ID'd.We had a wonderful night celebrating with a BBQ with his twin sister and her partner, and his niece.

A good time was had by all but I am totally paying for it now.Didn't even have the energy or will to go and weigh myself.Hopefully this illness is on it's way out and I'll be back to operation pin up girl-gym bunniness again!

Uber Quick update

2010-09-04T18:27:00.003+01:00

I lost a pound this week! Would have been happy with just a STS due to no gym and not particularly good but not completely crap eating so uber pleased.

Then I came home to a cheeky note from one of my flatmates about housework.She's been unemployed since January and basically needs to GET A LIFE!!!!! Or even better still,a F*%KING JOB!!!!!!!!! Just what you want to read after a 60 hour week and when you're still feeling like crap.I will always put my hands up and admit that I am not the tidiest,most organised person,but when it comes to communal areas,I do my share and stick to the cleaning rota.This note was basically talking crap!

It's hard enough sharing with 2 others,even though we do get along 99% of the time.I just miss having the flat to myself at times especially when one is unemployed.She's just always there.My heart sinks a little when I climb up all my stairs and open the door and see her keys on the hall table.It's really been getting on my tits lately.I'm lucky enough that I have the biggest room with a telly,DVD,laptop etc. to keep me sane and entertained.

I'm so freaking over flat sharing.I wish I had the money to afford my own place or for the Scotsman and I to finally move overseas,but alas,that's the situation till at least next July,so frustrating.

I'm sure these bitchy feelings will all pass,but in the meantime,how do you cope with flatmates?

I'm off to peruse my new Nigella cookbook 'Kitchen,recipes from the heart of the home',just arrived today.Nigella always cheers me up :D

Bleuch.Sickness!

2010-09-02T18:54:00.003+01:00

Ugh! How can I feel so ill when I've been so healthy!

I feel horrible and as such haven't been to the gym since last Tuesday...........OK,that's more to the fact that I've been either working sleepover shifts or getting horrendously drunk.This head cold is not at all alcomohol related,I swear.I've been feeling like shite since Tuesday hence me being MIA.

Normal blogging will commence shortly.

In the meantime,I've been sticking to my September challenge and whipped up some super easy soups........

Carrot and ginger - Chop carrots and some fresh ginger,I left the skin on my carrots for extra goodness.Boil in stock and blend.Simples.

Sweetcorn - Boil some corn (I used frozen as I had that on hand) in your chosen stock and blend.

To sum up August

2010-08-28T22:07:00.003+01:00

* I have (shock - horror - the sky is falling) joined a gym...........for a year.
* Even more shocking I am loving it and the feeling of pushing myself that wee bit further.In fact I haven't been since Tuesday and I miss it.
* My asthma is improving already and i no longer need a tank of oxygen after I climb the stairs to our 3rd floor flat.
* 4 colleagues have noticed I've lost weight.
* I've lost 1 stone 1lb/7kg/15 lb's.
* I've been asked out by a very handsome and polite gent (his approach was to hold the door of a shop open for me and offer to carry my basket,even though he wasn't going in) total boost for the ego and self esteem.
* Walking an hour to walk at the sickeningly early hour of 7 am is becoming habit.
* Eating cleanly and 5 portions of fruit and veg is now habit (with the odd croissant and Vodka thrown in for good measure).
* Mentally I feel more like my happier,laid back Aussie self.

Generally,I just I feel damn GOOD!

Without wanting to sound like a cheesy Nike ad........

2010-08-28T21:33:00.001+01:00

Image courtesy of Things We Forget

Blog awards continued

2010-08-26T19:47:00.014+01:00

4. MY GORGEOUS WEE SISTER,NATEY - There's 7 years difference between us and like the Scotsman we are total opposites.The Scotsman and I joke that he's with the wrong sister,she's much more suitable for him :P Joking aside,she' moved over here a year ago and it's made living over here so much easier.I LOVE our sister time spent together,watching cheesy films,cocktail nights or window shopping at posh stores - Louboutins for me and Chloe bags for her.Having a sister is so awesome.

Yeah,she's like Zoolander.She can only do the one pose,in the one direction

5. TATTOOS - I got my first when I was 21 and since have collected 7 from around the world.They each have a special meaning to me and signify different stages in my life.

6. COOKING AND BAKING - I'm a total foodie,hence my current predicament.Dad is a chef and is your typical German-strong-like-an-Ox build.Food is a huge part of Indonesian culture,so this combination has led to total epicurean tendencies.

Excuse the horrendous appearance - that was my annual Christmas baking box and spring rolls production

7.GOOD OLD ROCK N ROLL - When I was a teenager I harboured dreams of becoming a female rocker as good as Slash.Unfortunately I am completely tone deaf and not at all musically inclined so those fantasies have to be lived out in my head whilst rocking out on the Elleptical to various rock and metal on my Ipod

8.THE 40's AND 50's - James Dean was my dad's hero and mum loved all the classic films,so maybe that's where this fancy started.I can't remember,but I've always loved the classic films and styles of the 40's and 50's.The hair,make up,dresses,peep toe heels and total ladylike elegance of the ladies who could still cut a man down with a sharp one liner.I remember on the weekends back home there would always be a classic film on the telly in the afternoon.Ms Monroe,Marlene Dietrich,Bette Davis and Ava Gardner would be the favourites if I had to choose.

9. FLOWERS - It runs in the family.All the women...........and some of the men,mostly on my Indo side,love wearing bright coloured,flower print batik and flowers in their hair,on their wrists,around their necks etc..The brighter and more colourful,the better.I'm a little obsessed with Frangipani's.In fact I just got a parcel of more frangi bracelets delivered today.I can't leave the house without a flower in my hair or in my ears - even when working.As I can't wear any jewellery to work,and make up is no point as with the amount of physical work we do it would just sweat off or get ruined anyways,it's my one concession to glamour.I guess it's also my way of brightening up my Glasgow days a little.

Mum looking beautiful in traditional batik dress
She's missing a flower though.

10. TIGERS - Just my favourite animal.I could spend hours at Edinburgh zoo watching them.

Phew,so there you have it.Now there are so many blogs that I regularly read and love,like Emma, Rapunzel, Roo,Tully and Joy as well as the 3 afore mentioned ladies.So I'm going to give this to some new ladies who's blogs you should absolutely check out...........

* Claire - She's a fab and witty Irish lady living in Spain.Love it!

* Roxie - Awesome blog of another lady getting healthy and fabulous

* Ina and Ulrika are both Finnish and both write beautiful blogs about their lives and vintage - Rockabillyness.Wonderful photos

* Neen - is Scottish and has lost an inspiring 3 stone so far.Really fun blog.I like the way she writes.

* Florrie - has lost a whole heap of weight already and writes a really funky,colourful,fun blog

I know that's not 10,but I really need to clean up my reading list - way to long to sift through,lot's of blogs that unfortunately have fallen by the wayside.

Thanks again for everyone that's reads my ramblings.xox

Blog Awards :D

2010-08-26T15:51:00.025+01:00

The Scotsman is occupied with the Europa League qualifiers on the telly,so I can finally get round to this post................

So yeah.......Wow guys,I've got 3 blog awards in the last few weeks or so,a belated thank you to these lovely ladies.......Linzerello,Lexie and Ruby Rach.Thank you so much,I'm chuffed! Ruby Rach is a beautiful Australian girl with a fab vintage blog,Linz and Lexie are are gorgeous gals on a weight loss journey too,both with inspiring losses racked up already.

So the rules are:

1. Post who gave you this award
2. State 10 things you like
3. Give this award to 10 other bloggers and notify them with a comment

10 things I like:

1. TRAVEL/BACKPACKING.My dad left Germany when he was 21 and lived in all sorts of far flung places,from the Caribbean,to Bali (where he met my Mum) to Hong Kong (where I came into the world),before finally settling in Australia.So far my adventures have taken me to Borneo,Indonesia,Malaysia,Burma/Myanmar,Thailand,Vietnam,Cambodia 3 times when I was 21,23 and 24.Cuba,Hong Kong,China,Mongolia,Russia,Estonia,Lithuania,Latvia,Poland,Czech Republic,Austria,Germany,France,Ireland,Netherlands,Portugal,Belgium and of course I've travelled around Australia on many family holidays and explored Scotland extensively.

2.SYDNEY.My home.I grew up there from when I was 1 till I left for adventures and Scotland at 24.I really miss the lifestyle,the varied cultures,the beaches,weather and of course my family and friends.

My gorgeous Mama and Pa barchen

My absolute best friend in the entire world,we've known each other 13 years and despite the distance we're as close as ever.Isn't she just fabulous?

3. MY SCOTSMAN - He's the complete and total polar opposite to me,physically,emotionally and mentally.We have absolutely nothing in common and Aries - Virgo and Monkey - Tiger combinations apparently should be avoided at all costs,but for us it somehow works.We compliment each other like ying and yang,and despite the differences have only ever had 3 real arguments in the last 6 years.It seems history is repeating itself as there are many parallels with my parents relationship and us.I can't wait for him to become my husband.

Yay me! ;P

2010-08-26T12:57:00.006+01:00

I've lost a pound shy of a stone!!!!!!!!!! In pretty much a month! Yay me!

Just a quick one today.Yesterday and today have been days off from the gym as I've finally seen my Scotsman after nearly a month.We spent the day at our favourite French Patisserie/cafe in the West End and then basked in the warmth sipping on coffees as big as our heads before strolling down to Ashton Lane for a few vodkas in the sun.

My favourite bar Wodka Vodka does wicked,super cheap cocktails,but I showed some restraint and had just 1 while the rest were vodka,soda and limes.Totally paid off too as I managed to have a croissant for breakfast as well as an awesome grilled chicken burger from Ketchup and stay within points.Today is just a day in relaxing and planning meals and shopping lists in keeping with my challenge.

And I'm in the process of starting a recipe blog tying in with my new recipe experiments and cooking challenges.Will let you know when it's up and running

** A colleague at work named me Miss Frangipani the other day in homage to all the frangipani's I wear in my hair,in my ears,on my handbags etc.I like that,and it sounds much better than Glasgow Galah,hence the name change.

Thank you,thank you,THANK YOU ROO!!!!! (Awesome hair follow up)

2010-08-24T14:39:00.007+01:00

The wonderful Roo has managed to find out the song that I was talking about with the girl with the awesome hair.And as such I've managed to track down pics of her uber cool hair.I want,I want,I want!

The song is called 'I'm in love' (Alex Gaudino Ft Maxine Ashley).If you want to youtube it.

THANK YOU ROO! xx

Quick update

2010-08-23T22:24:00.003+01:00

Hola! Firstly,exercise stats: one hour treadmill,20 mins cross trainer and one hours walk to work.

Next,recipes I want to try this month:

* Teriyaki Chicken (from scratch)
* Sushi
* Lemper (Indo sticky rice rolls)
* Bolu Kukus (I have made these before,but can't get them to open up like the photos)
* Raspberry yogurt cake
* Overnight Date and Bran Muffins (Mum's new discovery)
* German pumpernickel bread - I remember my Opa eating this everyday religiously and my Papa does too.It would be great to be able to make it for him when he comes over,as I never really cook much German cuisine.
* Low sugar,low fat,high fibre fruit loaf - that's the real name of the recipe
* Oaty,Apple Pikelets
* Plum and Cinnamon Cake
* Best Ever Muffins
* Sweet Potato Rosti with Chorizo and grilled veg
* Spinach and Ricotta hotcakes
* Chicken,Olive and Lemon Tagine
* Quesadillas
* Wonton soup

I think that's a good start and I haven't even started looking through my cookbooks!

Plus I've set myself the challenge of absolutely NO READY MEALS for the month of Sept.All meals will be cooked from scratch,even if it's just a hurried meal of veg in miso soup or tinned mackerel,brown rice and sweetcorn (my go to meals when I'm skint and/or pressed for time).The exception will of course be unless I am eating out.Wish me luck!

I'm becoming a MACHINE!

2010-08-22T19:31:00.003+01:00

OK,maybe not quite,but 2 hours at the gym is now becoming habit and I actually look forward to it and more surprisingly,am enjoying it :D

I've noticed tiny wee changes in my health too.I'm using my ventolin less,shaved 5 mins off my walk to the gym from work and didn't need my puffer at all.

And in most exciting news,today I totally pushed myself on the cross trainer to do 50 mins!!!!!!!!!
Practically in a row too - just a wee 2 minute breather while I set up the machine again (it's only programmed for 20 min intervals).Totally epic achievement for me.Plus 50 mins treadmill and about 15 mins weights.This time I tried the machines for my legs too.

Back tomorrow,Tues and Fri.Not too shabby :D Signing off now as I am too knackered to attempt any more writing without it being utter nonsense.xx

Just some random happy mutterings

2010-08-20T17:36:00.009+01:00

Now I know you're not supposed to,but I needed to go past the local Boots I weigh in at and decided to go and take a sneaky peek.I'm so freaking glad I did coz I've apparently lost 2 lb's!!!!!!!! I know it's not an official weight loss,but it was the boost I was needing to get my mojo back.And back it came with a vengeance!
I did a monster workout at the gym.1 hour and 40 mins of cardio - 50 mins of treadmill and 50 mins on the cross trainer plus some weights.I'm stopping the swimming after my workouts as my body is simply too tired after a gym workout to complete any laps,maybe it was too much too soon.I'll try again a few months down the track.Oh,and I plan to get up that wee bit earlier and walk to work tomorrow.

Stopped by Lidl on the way home and got this mega haul for just £12! 2 punnets each of nectarines, blueberries and raspberries. A punnet of strawberries, organic carrots, sweet peppers, fruit and nut muesli, pitta breads and some broccoli and cauliflower.

It still confounds me that it's so much cheaper to eat crap,frozen meals and take aways in the UK than to eat healthy,fresh food.The abundance of Iceland and Farmfoods stores make me sad.I understand that families on a budget need these stores,but with Lidl and Aldi about selling super cheap,fresh veg surely it's just as easy and cheap to cook from scratch? I've had this argument many a time with the Scotsman as he grew up in a very poor East End Glasgow family,although Lidl and Aldi weren't around when he was a boy.

I once worked with a guy who had never eaten a mango.A mango???? It's hardly that strange or exotic like dragon fruit or rambutan that while common in Oz,especially amongst the SE Asian community,not heard of over here.If you have any Chinese grocers near you please try these and also mangosteen which is one of the most delicious fruits ever.Queen Victoria apparently offered a monstrous sum to anyone who could bring one over from Indonesia unspoiled.I also currently work with ladies that have never ate,let alone heard of,butternut squash or sweet potato!!!!!

In other news,whilst at the gym a video clip came on (it's permanently tuned into the Dance Music channel which basically equates to soft porn which is a very good motivator,seeing all those perfect bodies prancing about in bikinis) with this girl with uber cool hair.It was half black and half pink,literally straight down the middle.I missed the name of the song and can't find any images online,so this is the closest I got.................

LOVE IT! Might add it to the list of rewards when I get to goal - Louboutins,new wardrobe,total spa day pamper session and new hair.And I totally wore that shade of lipstick constantly back in the 90's,with fire engine red hair and leopard print skirts.Thankfully I grew up and developed good fashion sense.

In sad news,it seems the Vengaboys really are back in town.Check it out for yourself here,if you dare............

Crap but fabulous.

2010-08-19T21:50:00.004+01:00

Nothing new to report today except I ate like crap because I didn't plan or take my food into work, and we were out for lunch and dinner.But did walk an hour to work...............

And I saw this on Celia's lovely blog and it is now my new workout mantra.............

Goals for September

2010-08-18T17:48:00.005+01:00

I've just realised September is around the corner................well really coz I was counting down the days till pay day.

Here are my goals for September:

* Cook more and try new recipes:
- Sushi
- Teriyaki Chicken
- Some sort of Morroccan Chickpea stew
- Lamb Kofta

* Cook more Indonesian meals

* Make sure half my evening meals are vegggie possibly vegan

* Stick to my savings plan for our July '11 moving overseas goal

* Go to the gym at least 3 times a week

* LOSE WEIGHT

Ditzy Moments and Crap Diet Books to Avoid

2010-08-18T16:09:00.004+01:00

I can be quite a ditz at times.I consider myself quite well read ,worldly and without sounding like a total egoist,intelligent and I have the University Challenge scores to prove it!...........albeit from the comfort of my own couch playing against the Scotsman,but still,my other geeky friends have never managed to score as high as me ;P But nonetheless I can be extremely ditzy at times.World knowledge and useless facts 1 - common/practical sense 0.

I've been quite miffed at the gym machines as I have been working hard,heart rate high,muscles burning and sweat lashing off me,yet the calories I'm burning seemed quite low in comparison to my physical effort.Then today i figured out that you could input your weight and age into the machine................lo and behold my calories burnt rose in proportion to my physical exertion.Happy days.

Ditzy moment number 2,I thought replacing milk and yogurts with soy products would replace the calcium and benefits of dairy that I'm missing out on.But good old google has pointed out to me that it doesn't.DOH! Of course it wouldn't,it's made from a bean!!!!!! Why the hell would I think that!

In other news,I walked halfway to work yesterday at the ungodly hour of 7:15am - 25 mins

Today was: 60 mins treadmill
20 mins cross trainer
15 mins intense weight training for my arms
15 min swim (my poor body was telling me to rest)

As with any girl trying to lose some pounds I've read quite a few diet books lately.I don't know why - I know what works for me and what I need to do.Most of them are crap and here are 2 to avoid.............

Neris and India's Idiot Proof Diet.I found it at a second hand bookstore so thankfully I didn't waste too much money on this crap.I had sooooo much hope for it,cute,witty writing and the authors themselves had lost a tonne of weight,but alas it's just basically Atkins which I know works for some but I just don't trust a diet where fruit is seen as evil.

Secondly was How To Eat Like A Hot Chick which I was given as a gift.Now I REALLY had super high hopes for this one - pin up girl on the cover,SATC style writing,a promise of how you can eat what you want and still lose weight (yeah,I already know this from WW, moderation, moderation, MODERATION!). However it was full of foods you could and absolutely couldn't have,and basically crap information like:

* Cheese is evil,but you can have as much Parmesan as you want to.
* Mayonnaise is evil.
* Anytime you are hungry and tempted to stray eat a pound of spinach.
* No cocktails whatsoever.

At this point I lost interest.I KNOW that this is probably why skinny girls are skinny and why I am fat but I do not want to be skinny and live by stringent rules and a life of forbidden foods.I'd rather be a size 14 and be able to east cheese on the odd occasion and enjoy a cocktail or 7 on a night out.

Not a happy camper!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-16T16:21:00.004+01:00

I've put on 3 lb's! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I've been tracking all my eats and staying within points,exercising like crazy and I hardly ate shit while we were in Amsterdam.

I skipped the gym today before weigh in too,as my head was telling me to go,but my heart was so mentally exhausted and body was saying no.Damn I wished I'd gone now! I have 3 scheduled days this week though,so I'll push myself to try and make up for this gain.In fact I will walk halfway to work tommorrow (half and hour - 40 mins) and the other days I start at 8.

Hmmmmmmmmm,off to mull over my online tracker and try and not eat my anger.