Another day,another night shift.

It seems as if the universe is conspiring against me losing weight.I was all geared up to start a new swimming regime last week,but I have been sick as a dog since last Monday (and yes I freaked out and no,it's not Swine Flu).Walking any distance,let alone up stairs leaves my lungs feeling like the Coyote when the Road Runner drops big iron weight on his chest.I'm hacking coughs like my life depends on it and have used up an entire forest's worth of tissues.

I was determined to start next week,as this week my work schedule is just bonkers,but no.Got shifts coming out of my ears again.Being an agency worker on a mission to emigrate back to Sydney I need to take whatever I can while the work's going,coz you never know what's around the corner - I've had weeks living off just 15 hours wages.Hence me being in the state I'm in,body totally run down after constant 50 - 60 hour weeks.I don't even have kids! I don't know how working parents do it!

Here's how this week pans out........

Fri:10:00 - 20:00 shift,1 1/2 hours travel time each way.The joys of public transport.No exercise done.
Sat:Night shift 22:00 - 08:00.No exercise done before.Sick as a dog.
Sun:Sleep.Awoke feeling like a mucous monster with a boa constrictor wrapped around my chest.All intentions of attacking the treadmill went out the window.
Mon(today):Night shift as before.Managed to climb the stairs to the third floor for my 2 hourly checks without needing my Ventolin - a first since last Monday.May attempt to power walk around the open plan kitchen/living room.
Tues:Sleep,then a 5:30 - 22:00 shift
Weds:09:00-12:00 shift,then sleep then another night shift.May attempt 20 mins at least on the treadmill to tire me out so I sleep.
Thurs:Sleep,then meeting AngelBoy for tapas lunch.
Fri:08:00-16:00.MUST EXERCISE!!!!!!!
Sat:08:00-16:00,then 18:00-22:30 shifts,in opposite ends of Glasgow.Break between shifts will be spent travelling on buses.
Sun: 14:30 - 22:30.MUST EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!

Mon:Off with AngelBoy,will attempt to haul our asses out of bed before 1PM and attempt a big walk.
Tues: 09:00-12:00,13:00-21:00.Break spent travelling.
Weds:09:00 - 12:00,13:00 - 21:00.Break spent travelling.
Thurs:OFF!!!!! By myself!!!!! I love my Weegie Boy to bits but I do look forward to 'me' time.A big swim and a walk around the park me thinks.
Fri:08:00-21:00.No way is anything going to be done after this shift other than kicking back with a wee cigar and a glass of wine.(Yes I know smoking is unbelievably bad for mind,body and soul and especially Asthma,but this is a rare and special indulgence.)

PHEW!!!!!

I know that I need to make time for myself,but to be honest.I am sooooooo damn knackered after these shifts all I want to do is take a shower,wash the working day away and chillllllllll. Especially in my line of work.It's so mentally as well as physically exhausting.

I just hope my body feels better sometime soon,as my mind is totally revved up and raring to go,it's just this damn body and it run down immune system that's not.ARGH!

On a positive though,a few wee changes in the thought stream department which may seem trivial to most people but are HUGE in GlasgowGalah world.I have got the eating thing reined in.....so far.I've rediscovered my love for fruit and veg is now my friend.I am cooking every meal from scratch,have educated myself about reading food labels and can actually stop myself at just ONE teeny tiny fun sized chocolate bar instead of inhaling the whole bag.In fact,there is still a hoard of chocolate that I brought back from home,3 1/2 months ago,still untouched and unopened.

And as for alchomohol.......I've not touched a cocktail in about 2 weeks,I will have a glass of wine after work - not everyday,but when I feel like it and it's just limited to one instead of the whole bottle (*joke!* The whole 5 bottle experience with my sister has scarred me for life.) And on days off I just treat myself to a bottle of nice cava,or if my budget allows Champers,to share with AB.Whereas before I would have that AND copius amounts of home made cocktails with copius amounts of various spirits and liquers......and,shock,horror!!!!! There is no Vodka in my house!!!!!!! And I'm not freaking out!!!!! (***See note below)

Hope everyone else is feeling much better.I promise the recipes will come soon.Have been experimenting with savoury dishes so will post them soon,but right now I jut want it to be 8AM and me to be wrapped up in bed.xox

N.B *** I must clarify,I am not an alcoholic,I am just merely Australian ;P

Waheyyyyyyy!

Couldn't think of a more interesting title.But anyhoo - this week it's another 1 1/2 pounds off! So taht's 4 1/2 in 3 weeks.Aiming for 2 1/2 this week and my first silver 7.So utterly tragic of me to be getting excited over a wee silver sticker but what can I say,anything sparkly I covet.And 7 is my lucky number.

Speaking of covet.I've finally treated to myself to Dita Von Teese's book Burlesque and the Art of Teese.What beautiful photography.That girl has the 40's elegance down to a T.And I love her attitude to her fellow women and glamour.

Fab quote #1 'There is no such thing as a plain lady,everyone has their best features,accentuate and focus on them'

Fab quote #2 'I advocate glamour......ALWAYS'

I love that last one.I think Glasgow especially is lacking in glamour and class.......unless tango tan (the deeper shade of orange,the better),skirts so short you can see the bits that just should nae be seen out in public and clown face make up is your idea of glamour - oh and I forgot,the (fake) blonde hair bleached and straightened within an inch of it's life.Not that I have anything against bottle blonde's.....my bestest mate back home is a slave to the peroxide bottle,but it's natural looking and not so.......severe.And being a naturally curly haired woman that not even GHD's can tame you can of course understand why I wish for the day that curls come back - not in a Kylie Minogue perm circa neighbours 1984 though,please.

I promised many weeks back that I would post some recipes for plum tea cake and banana bread.I'm breaking that promise as I wouldn't wish those recipes on anyone.

I think that I am a slightly above average home baker/cook.I bake my own bread,make my own pasta.Anything that can be made from scratch from custard to pastry to naan bread to ice cream has been attempted with much enthusiasm.Packet mixes and frozen meals were banned from my house by my father.Everything was/is made from scratch,but I am lucky as he is a chef who passed on his enthusiasm and passion to me,unfortunately they by passed my sister.I can spend as much time in Lakeland drooling over their products as I can in Schuh salivating over Irregular Choice heels.When I was given a pasta maker it was as joy inducing as giving a designer hand bag is to my sister.

I have many requests for peoples birthday cakes and the one thing requested whenever I'm going to a friends is either my Indonesian Spring Rolls or my decadent Chocolate Velvet Raspberry Cream Fudge cake.You can now obviously see how I ended up the size I am.

I attacked the ww cake recipes with much enthusiasm and whilst they did come out of the oven quite aesthetically pleasing,the texture was rubbery and the taste was that much dreaded 'synthetic' diet taste.I didn't enjoy them at all and neither did my flatmates or my AngelBoy and have come to the conclusion that when I bake it will be proper cakes with butter and egg yolks dammit!!!!! Unfortunately that means a cake slice for 8 points.

I'll just make sure that they are distributed amongst flatmates,friends and neighbours (who luckily enough are also friends) and that there are enough points to accommodate - even if it does mean eating o -point savoury liquid for lunch and dinner.So the temptation is quashed but the joy of baking good,proper,delicious moist and crumbly cakes remains.Same goes for the Spring Rolls.A friend and I were both dieting many moons ago and tried baking them in the oven instead of frying them.It was spring roll carnage.

I do however have a wonderful home made bread recipe that I will post tomorrow.It works out to be 2.5 points per slice,but these are hearty slices and this bread is just too divine to eat any other.Dead easy too and pounding and kneading bread is very therapeutic,or is it just me.

Anyhoo,I shall sign off now as I am rabbiting and have to find ways to stay awake for the next 9 hours.Good luck to everyone else.xoxo

Uber quick update

Sorry I've not been around - working like a dog and been sick since Monday.who gets sick in the middle of a heatwave?!?!?!?!? Anyways,first weigh in 3 pounds off!!!!! Absolutely stoked :D off to my weigh in in 15 mins so will update the damage this arvo.xox

Call me a freak but...........

I don't like soup.Not even evil Scottish winters can convince me of the virtues of soup.I just don't get the whole liquid lunch thing (especially savoury liquid) unless of course we're talking Champers and Cocktails.

However,as a sign of my commitment and determination this week.....(yes,I know it's only the first week,of my 5 millionth attempt,but usually by now I would be rocking in a corner,a mountain of chocolate wrappers by my side and an empty bottle of raspberry Vodka on the other.) I have made and eaten a big batch of veg soup made out of some poor dying,but still edible I might add,root veg languishing in the bottom of my fridge.I am now a convert.Who knew savoury liquid could taste so good?!?!?!? Although I draw the line at organic German potato juice I once saw in a Sydney hippie Deli.

I have to say,something has just clicked this time and without even consciously realising it i have this week so far...............

* NOT HAD ANY CHOCOLATE!!!!!!! Anybody that knows me,knows that I start to convulse and hyperventilate if there is less than a kilo's worth of various chocolate stashed about my flat....add to that Vodka of various fruit infusions and a bottle of Cava.There must always be chocolate,vodka and cava in my flat.

I've only noticed today as I was frantically searching my room for my camera and happened upon 4 different stashes.I realised I had not had any,nor did I feel remotely tempted.I read on another blog to break down what your favourite vice was - eg Chocolate is just a mix of sugar and fat.I know think of that every time I look at chocolate and cry on the inside.It's like finding out your idol's flaws I suppose.

And add to that,I have managed to go out on Friday night and Saturday night for dinner and not touch a drop of anything remotely alcoholic.And a bottle of Cava and Mango Absolut vodka remain sitting in their rightful places,unscathed by the weekends social events.

* I've actually come home from work,no matter how exhausted and been totally psyched to get on my treadmill - I even pushed myself like I've never pushed before and managed a solid 10 Min's of VERY brisk power walking,even,dare I say it,nearly a JOG!

* I've cooked every meal from scratch.I love cooking so that's not so much the issue.It's more about making the time and effort for myself and thinking and planning about what I'm putting into my body instead of whatever is the most quickest and convienient on offer

This had better show on the scales or I am going to throw a drama queen strop that would even make Bette Davis quake in her boots.

I've been wondering why this time I feel soooo much more determined and motivated than I have ever before,and I've pin pointed it to the fact that I'm coming up to the age where my mother had breast cancer and this has scared me into WW submission.All those other times I tried and failed,there was always an excuse to try again another time and continue on,knowing that I wasn't as grotesquely overweight as I am now,and had youth on my side.

Now I literally have to do this as the hereditary risk is too high for me to even chance carrying around excess weight,and I am determined to run/power walk the race for life next year for my amazing Mama who's a fighter and a survivor,and in memory of the other ladies in my life who didn't.

Ok,that's a bit too morbid and serious for my liking,I'm off to munch on something angelic and hope the next 8 hours fly in.Good luck to everyone else and thank you all so much for the lovely comments :D xox

Bullet biting.

Well I bit the bullet and did it.I finally walked through the doors and joined a meeting.Starting weight a disgusting 19st 5lb,but this is the last time I will ever see those numbers on a scale again.

I feel uber positive already,the leader lady is an absolute sweetheart and I warmed to her straight away.She has a picture of herself at her heaviest blown up and displayed behind her at the meeting,which I have never seen a leader do before.She focuses on everyones loss and involves everyone in the discussions,whether they've lost a pound or 3,and re-iterates the fact that a pound lost is still a pound less and to be celebrated.

The rest of the ladies in the group are lovely and friendly and a whole age range from all different walks of life.This is the first meeting I've ever been to where I feel totally at ease.

My second day totally in the zone and it's all systems go! I'm working uber hours this week - including 4 waking nights,which totally buggers up my eating patterns,but all has been planned to a tee.I'm even going to try and do some form of exercise while I'm here (10 hours of basically sitting around doing nothing).

I've even transformed my treadmill from a clothes-horse to a proper exercise machine.20 minutes this morning,not much but I sweated like a beeatch and pushed that speed up higher and higher till I couldn't push it no more....probably a snails pace compared to most but I'll get there eventually.

Hope everyone else is doing well.xox

That moment of realisation.

This is the photo that was my 'moment of realisation'.It was taken back in March when I was back home in Sydney.

It's so horrible.I was mortified when I saw it.Look at the size of those arms! That tummy! The countless chins!!!!!

I can't believe looking at that,that I was once actually slim.






And here is my utterly delectable 9 stone Scotsman.I am literally double his size and weight.I've posted these up as much as a reminder to myself of why I'm doing this.

Every time the temptation of sticking a chocolate in my gob or baking a luscious cake because I'm feeling blue and want to gorge on comfort food I'll come back to these photos and motivate myself again.

Yet more reasons that I'm doing this ..........

*I want to..........................
*Wear sexy,luscious lingerie again and be able to buy out of Ann Summers and Cyber Corsetry instead of Bravissimo's floral,pastely,not so sexy range.
* Make love in all sorts of bendy positions that would make a Russian gymnast proud.
* Not feel like Jack Spratt and his wife and thinking everyone else must be thinking,'what an odd couple',whenever I'm out with my man.
* Go on some adventures next year and make my 30th year the absolute jazzy-fizzle-SHIZZ!
* For once in my life be slimmer than my sister (superficial and slight bitchy I know,but I'm sure there are many of you out there with slim sisters thinking the same)
* Compete in the Race for Life in 2010.

Most of all,I'm gonna be too fabulous for this town and don't you forget it sweet cheeks!!!!!! :D

(This pearl of wisdom was uttered last week during a drunken discussion with my sister.I'm totally sticking by it and posting it on my wall ;P )

A nearly mortifying experience!

I had a briefing today for a job I have on Friday at a conference centre for a creche.We were told we would be provided uniforms and I though that it would be a matter of just filling in a form and handing it in to the supervisor,saving afore mentioned mortification.

Noooooooooooo,the supervisor just asked us all in front of each other,and the 2 other agency girls,who are lovely,but size 14's .I just wanted the floor to swallow me up,but luckily I must have some good karma stored away somewhere as the supervisor diplomatically said that she had one which she thought would fit me,saving all embarrassment.

Yet another reason to lose weight and kick my ass onto the treadmill.I NEVER want to be that embarrassing position again.I remember in year 6,when I was about 10 or 11,for some silly maths exercise or something ridiculously irrelevant,we all had to come to the front of the class and be weighed,this was all in confidence..................but the teacher then wrote everyone's weights,anonymously,onto the board. (I think we had to figure out the average for the class or something) I wasn't the biggest in the class,but I was certainly one of the bigger pupils and was dying inside to see my weight up there in black and white,heavier than most of the other kids,for everyone to see.I was 45 kgs/7 stone and about the height I am now - 5'4/163cm.



I remember reading an interview with the fabulously luscious Aussie actress Deborah Mailman,who is gorgeously curvy and totally,brilliantly talented to boot,but she had a very similar story when she was young,except the children's names were next to the weights and she was the heaviest.It was called the 'weight tree'.Deborah was talking about how it totally traumatised her throughout her childhood and still affected her self esteem,even in her 20's.

Mortifying experience number 2: I asked my partner what he weighs,as he is a wee skinny thing.I love him perfectly the way he is,he may be skinny but he still has lovely abs and arms for his frame.I've never been attracted to big muscly guys.....in fact it's a bit of a turn off for me.And I've always been self conscious of the fact that I am so big and curvy and he's so skinny,but anyways,I diverge! I asked him what he weighs and he is 9 stone!!!!! I'm literally double his weight!!!! I know I'll never be 9 stone,nor do I aim to be,but it's a reality check that I am walking around with literally my boyfriends weight as excess (I figure I need to lose 7-8 stone/44.5 - 50 kgs) and with thighs double his size!!!!

Hopefully I will finally be posting a loss next week - and for many weeks after that.Good luck!!!! xox