I will be pin up FABULOUS by my 30th dammit!!!!!!!

"The difficult I can do today. The impossible will take a little longer." Billie HolidayI gained a pound/0.5 kg this week.I don't understand as I have been super active this week compared to my usual self.4 mile walk up and down sand dunes,1/2 hour on the treadmill,1/2 hour walk each day round trip to and from work.

I'm totally perplexed,but i think it's probably about time I started going to meetings.It's now 46 more weeks till I hit the big 3 - 0 and I really need to get motivated and get my ass into shape.I know that I only have myself to answer to,but I just feel as though the regularity of meetings will give me that extra motivation and feeling that I have someone else to answer to.

I'm also put to shame by the fact that I went into work this morning and one of my clients had lost 4 lb's at his meeting last night.So,I'm now on a mission of finding a meeting that somehow fits in with my shift working patterns.

I still have my fab cherry dress hanging on the door,a fabulously sexy satin lace up corset that I used to be able to fit into in my closet,and boxes and boxes of utterly divine heels in boxes,awaiting the day that I can strut,strut,STRUT sexily in them without wobbling and toppling over and feeling like I want to hack my legs off coz of the pain. I can just picture myself at goal,in my 30th,at some fab cocktail bar,or possibly in some romantic location overseas with my Scotsman,in my fab cherry dress,sexy red heels and deep red or darkest purple hair (I've decided I'd treat myself to a total hair overhaul at a good salon when I reach goal).Why can't I get myself kick started to get there in reality?!?!?!? ARGH!

It's a constant roller coaster of lose 2 lb's,gain a pound,get disillusioned,binge,gain another pound,get motivated.Lose 2 pounds,gain a pound,get disillusioned,binge,gain a pound,get motivated,lose a pound......................etc. etc..........

Hopefully meetings will stop this cycle and help me focus on the goal at hand.I WILL BE PIN UP FABULOUS BY MY 30TH DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!