Shhhhhh,don't tell the Scotsman..............

But today was Afternoon Twee.It's a monthly Vintage fair just on the other side of the park from me,i.e. the posh part.

I'm really trying to be good and not spend too much money,as our move to Oz will hopefully be happening in the near future but I couldn't resist these finds.................

Tropical pin up girls,BELA LUGOSI Dracula and macarons courtesy of wee sister.

Then I spied the most awesome vintage bag EVER.....................

I wanted it as soon as I saw this but my sister convinced me to take a walkabout before deciding,as I NEVER wear beige or neutral colours.So sadly I left it and another women went straight over with her friend to check it out.

Whilst walking about all I could rave on about was that bag and how brilliantly it would go with the ample leopard print in my closet.Soooo,wee sister convinced off we went to see if it was still there.And would you believe after purchasing it,that woman that was looking at it after me came back to buy it?!?!?!? PHEW!

I know it has a few marks on the front but it is so utterly divine I have been smiling all day.Over a freaking bag! Le sigh.

Let's stop this damn nonsense!

You all know I am a hard rocking chick from way back when.I detest the X Factor and everything is stands for and what it's doing to the music industry.

I do,however find myself sucked into watching it week in and week out and even,God forbid,tweeting about it!

This week especially I just can not shut y mouth about it.We've all seen the incredibly cruel comments dished out on this here web thingy,primarily aimed at the women and their physical appearances.

Sami - fat,lesbian.Cue the jokes about food,weight and wanting to sleep with all the female contestants.Jokes that a 5 year old would come up with.So Sami is FAT and GAY.

SO.FCUKING.WHAT?!?!?!?!?

Does Craig get the same treatment?????? He's slightly overweight.NO! Is it because he's a guy?!?!?!?!? I don't know for sure.

Then of course there's that poor wee lassie from Little Mix.OK,she isn't conventionally beautiful.She's kinda quirky looking but I think she's really cute.But there have been INCREDIBLY cruel comments comparing her to a slovenly,South American animal,jibes about her weight etc.This girl is by no means over weight.And she is just that,a GIRL.Whatever your thoughts are about X Factor can we justify publicly villifying a wee lassie all over the internet for daring to chase her dream?

It was heartbreaking to see her crying her eyes out on X Factor this week and then still seeing the vicious taunts on Twitter in reply to her wee segway.

C'mon guys,we need to be building each other up,not tearing each other down.I admit I love a wee gossip as much as the next girl and I love having a wee bitch session with my friends but we never venture into such cruel territory as someones appearance.Dress sense maybe,but not their physicality,as in their actual face,beauty and looks.

We are also,however very complimentary to each other and strangers about their nice shoes,dress,jewellery etc. I'm very lucky that my small group of girlie friends are wonderfully supportive and complimentary.We build each other up,we don't tear each other down.My girlfriends and I are very outgoing and think nothing of complimenting a stranger.Some may run away thinking we've escaped from Carstairs,but for me,it makes my day when a stranger compliments me.

So today I am making a vow to the blogging world that I will try my utmost to stop bitching and tearing down my fellow females (and males),and do my utmost to compliment my friends and strangers.I will do my utmost to stop judging a woman on the way she presents herself to the world and try and do my wee bit to build each other up.

FAIL!

I totally failed and slept in last Friday and missed my WW meeting

This week however,I finish a sleepover at 8am,literally 5 mins away from my meeting.So I will hang about at a cafe with a good book and nursing a strong coffee till th

e damn meeting opens!

I am so glad to see Paul back on the scene,and I know this is slightly sadistic of me,but I am so glad to see I'm not the only one who has fallen off the wagon,BUT I am so pleased to see that so many of us keep on climbing up that wagon until we finally succeed.

And please remember.........

Onwards and upwards!

xox

Devil vs Devil

Thanks for all the twitter,facebook and blog loving guys..........especially to my last picture post.

I don't know where that quote came from but I fucking love it! I will not even disguise my use of profanities because it's that ridiculously awesome that the gratuitous use of profanities is needed.

Now,I've written and re-written a post along thee lines about a million times now.Forgive me if it's a bit disjointed.For some time the total feminist,anti-body fascist,pro body acceptance in me has been totally battling the vanity in me that wants to be slimmer.I'm totally cool with the health reasons for it,it's just the vanity of it.The want to (sort of) give in to societies dictations of what's beautiful and 'normal' and what the shops dictate to be an acceptable size.

I've said before,I have never been skinny,size 14 is maybe the slimmest I was once I hit my teens but I was fit and healthy and active.I never really suffered from low self esteem,ironically I've become more self conscious in the last few years or so,but then I have been at my biggest these last few years.Plus the fact that Glasgow has to be the eating disorder/superficial/ competitive women capital of the WORLD.........outside LA,maybe ;P

Here's a wee story for you......................

Some days I feel fcuking AMAZING and gorgeous and it must show as I still get compliments from both strangers and friends,men and women,despite my ample proportions.Other days I feel like a totally unattractive lump of lard and just don't take pride in my appearance.Then I get pissed off at myself for falling into the trap of believing that I am somehow less beautiful, amazing,worthy or plain FABULOUS because I am fat.I am really trying to work on my mindset in terms of self worth as well as changing eating habits.

I hold myself back from so many things because I think 'I need to be slimmer to do that'.For example,I really want to do a Burlesque class.But I keep thinking,when I lose some weight I'll enrol.Why the fuck should I wait?!?!?!?! Why am I listening to society's voice inside my head telling me that it wouldn't be socially acceptable,offensive even to shake my jelly in a Burlesque class?

I buy gorgeous vintage style dresses in size 14 or 16 for when I eventually lose weight and deem myself worthy of dressing the way I want instead of buying those dresses in my current size and dressing the way I want NOW.

I really need to stop this attitude and I really need to make peace with my anti body fascism vs. wanting to slim down self.I am slowly beginning to console the two.I know I need to get healthier,but I also know that my ideal body is a big F.U! to the face of fashion and society.

I have no problem with girls that want this body,as long as it's REALLY what you want and not what you THINK you should be..............

BTW,I'm not sure how I feel about the message in this photo.

But my ideal is this...................................

I know for a fact a girl can be curvaceous and fit at the same time.Been there,done that.I LOVE having boobs and a bum,but how do I tell a Weight Watchers leader that?

Yes,tomorrow I am biting the bullet and joining a meeting,but I know my goal shape is going to be at least a good few stone over the WW/BMI index ideal weight.DO I just go in and continue on till I get to the shape I want? Or will that be soul destroying as I will be 1-2 stone from goal??? My ideal weight for my height of 5'6 is 55kg-69kg/8.5st-11st,by the way.My shape at a size 14 was about 12 st.

So,onto you readers,particularly you feminists out there.How do you console the body acceptance with the vanity of losing weight (disregarding the health side,as we know that's a MUST)? Do you let your weight hold you back or do you go f*ck it and do it anyways? This goes for the guys too! Is your goal weight what your WW/SW goal is?

xox Steph

Glasgow Girls

I work with a few challenging kids that are 2:1.My fellow colleagues are usually girls much younger than me - 21,22 years old.I would HATE to be a young lady in Glasgow.

Growing up in Sydney,we young ladies preferred the fresh faced,natural look.Full faced make up was reserved for weekends only.Night time at that.Fake tan was/is non existent.You hardly see a sun bed/tanning salon anywhere and ladies seem to be less hard on themselves and their bodies and less damn competitive.

Don't get me wrong,stroll down Bondi Beach and you will be reaching for the bottle of anti-depressants.Trimmed,taut,muscly bodies.The women have AB's ffs.But Bondi is it's own little world up it's own arse.

Anyways,the other day myself,and a few of my colleagues were meeting up with our respective kids we support.Now it was 10am on a Saturday morning,so none of us had had breakfast.The 3 young ones were going out into town that night,so none of them had breakfast.Or any other meals for the rest of the day.

The reason?So they wouldn't have a bloated stomach that night.This was 10am.They weren't going out till 9pm.Then there was the spray tans,fake nails,hair straightened,make up troweled on etc. all organised and planned ahead with military precision.Does no girl do natural in this town?????????

Think TOWIE times 20!!!!!!!

Then when we went our separate ways,one of the girls was stressing out because there was another girl coming who was 'pure gorgeous'.In other words,she was worried she would be out shined by the other girls.The solution was to bare as much flesh as possible with the most amount of make up possible.

Why do young ladies in Glasgow feel the need to compete with each other and be so harsh on their bodies? Do they not realise that the men they are after don't care about the tiny bit of tummy or that little bit of cellulite? Do they not realise that a (decent) man cares more about their gorgeous smile and their lovely personality than their tan or lack of and their shovelled on war paint? Whatever happened to having a fun girls night out with your friends,rather than the whole aim being to get a man at the end of the night? When will girls of Glasgow realise they don't need to freeze their little arses off in the teeny,tiniest of outfits in order to out 'shine' the other girls out there and snag themselves a man????

I love my make up as much as the next girl,but for me less is more.Sheer mineral make up as close to my natural skin colour as possible.It makes me so sad for my lovely,gorgeous,younger friends,that they feel their worth is only determined by how short their skirt is and how pretty they look.

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trying to maintain a healthy self esteem and emotions whilst getting healthy,physically.

Onwards and upwards........

Hello Lovelies,

I feel infinitely better after my last stressed post.I have actually managed to say 'NO' and stick to 2 days off each week this month!!!! Big achievement in this workaholic's life.

I have spent today's day off being leisurely and trying to learn how to crochet amigurumi.FAILED! Are there any crafters out there? How long did it take you to learn crochet beyond a single chain?

I did however successfully bake some choc raspberry cupcakes and some Earl Grey cupcakes.I've only ate one and the rest will be distributed amongst friends and collegues.It isn't even about the eating any more,I just like the zen and ritual of baking.I've ate uber healthy and pretty much vegan all day,though for dinner I'm trying out the sausage and chorizo casserole thing from the latest WW magazine.

In another fail! I forgot to weigh myself today.I actually seriously forgot,not a bury my head in the sand kinda forgot.

I've learnt to stop reading the 'success' stories and simply go straight to the health tips and recipes.FFS,most of the success stories STARTED at a size 14 this issue!!!!!!

Aaaannnnnnndddddd,THREE different people commented that I had lost weight this week.Don't know how the hell coz I've not been exercising or eating healthily so that was a nice surprise.Onwards and upwards from now on! :D

Aussies still out drink Scots!!!!!

Ouch! Ma heed!

I think I drank my body weight in spirits last night,celebrating my sister in laws b'day,much fun was had,much merriment was made.

I am very proud to say that despite the fact I am feeling wayyyyyyyyy seedy (someone told me that means something completely different here,I mean it in the 'bleauch,someone tranquilise me and wake me up when I feel normal again') I've been taking each meal as it comes and have been very sensible today........a little too much drink again,but that's what Sundays are for,right?

I even hauled my extremely hungover arse up and down my never ending stairs to face the general public at the supermarket to get veg and low fat humous for myself (something uber greasy and about 100pp for the Scotsman) so that I wouldn't give in to a take away.

Anyways,off to nurse ma poor heed and enjoy more precious time with my lovely Scotsman.

Have a happy Sunday :D

xox