Epiphany #2

Ugh! While mentally I feel totally positive,physically I feel even worse,coughing my lungs up and generally feel like shite.7 days in a row,I don't have a day off till Thursday.As I'm not permanent yet,if I don't work I don't get paid.Bleuch!

All good plans,physically/exercise wise,have gone awry again.I'm mentally preparing myself for a gain or staying the same as the last few days have looked like this...........

Fri 8-2 shift

B:Punnet of blueberries and Special K berry bliss with S.Skim milk

L:Out for a surprise lunch from the Scotsman Tomato and mozzarella salad with balsamic glaze Small steak with pepper sauce and small portion chips

D:Grapes and packet of 'Pom Bears' cheese and onion crisps.

Sat:1-9 shift

B/L: Special K berry bliss with S.skim. Punnet blueberries

D: Chinese take away night chosen by the clients. Small serving rice,mushroom and chicken in creamy wine sauce (I know,bad choice!)
A few chips. Grapes

I know it's sooooooo bad to skip meals and it wasn't even a deliberate ploy to claw back points.I just wasn't hungry after the steak lunch,and yesterday I got up late so ate b'fast at work about 2pm and then dinner was at 5pm.

I could be OK,with the one 45 minute exercise session I did and little food/points intake but then again I might not be.Oh well,to be honest I'm not that upset,because I know that these last few weeks I have really stuck to healthy eating and changing my habits which will lead to long term changes in weight.Nearly 3 weeks with no chocolate (well,that one tiny strawberry cream) or cola or fizzy drinks!

The Scotsman and friends noticed that this time round I've not been so militant and emotional about my eating.In past attempts if I'd gone out and had the steak lunch and work take away,and get all depressed and angry and mentally beat myself up and think fcuk it,and use it as a license to eat badly for the rest of the week.Or even the next few months as all motivation would be lost and I would think that i was a failure not able to stick at anything.

*This is the first time that I've actually stuck to this for 3 consecutive weeks and not gone off the wagon.Not long I know,but a big personal achievement.
*I've been enthusiastic about eating healthily and actually WANTED to eat healthily,instead of it feeling like a chore and something I had to do.
*This is the first time I've actually looked forward to exercise!!!!! I know it's only been 3 weeks,but i can see a total different mind frame in myself from all those other attempts.

Yes,I've had an epiphany of sorts.In my numerous attempts over the last 6 years on WW,I've never really felt confident that I would do this.You may see from previous posts,in fact one just a few weeks ago,that I would focus so much on how much weight I could lose in X amount of time.And i would totally focus on cramming in as much weight loss in a short amount of time.

Well,I think it's all come from epiphany #1.I finally have focus and direction in my life.Hell,I have a life plan! :O And somehow this,coupled with turning 30 has led to this new focus.My mates can't understand it,but I'm looking forward to turning 30.I have a brilliant life to look forward to.All the confusion and shite and not knowing what I was doing with my life in my 20's is gone.And even though it's not 2 years till we get to Oz,i will use these 2 years to focus on getting healthy and fit so that I can enjoy my beach lifestyle.

Instead of aiming to lose 8 stone in a year,I'm gonna take the pressure off myself and give myself the whole 2 years and focus on one bad habit at a time.It seems to have worked in relation to points (I am no longer following points but just using them as a rough guideline) so hopefully it will work in regards to the weight.

Good luck to everyone else.Will post weigh in results tomorrow.xox