Monday, 7 November 2011

Saturday was our 5 year anniversary and the Scotsman was working 8:00 - 22:00,so we were meant to celebrate yesterday.Turned out to be a pretty fucking shit anniversary.

We should be at our happiest at the moment,making our Aussie plans and getting excited about going away and starting our new life together as husband and wife.

Instead the Scotsman is stressed out to the max and upset and in tears.Now,I have to tell you something......SCOTTISH MEN DO NOT CRY! 7 years I've known this man and I've only seen him cry twice.

It's his fcuking family,primarily his mother.Now,I'm not a mother,but I assumed that being a mother would entail supporting your children no matter what.Loving them no matter what.Supporting their dreams and encouraging them.

Not his mother.There's been a few hurtful,nasty comments made in the past few weeks as we have progressively got closer to the final stages of the visa.His mother is now ill with shingles,and in quite a bad way (nothing life threatening though) and my poor Weegie boy is blaming she told him 'It's a stress related illness'.I.e. It's all your fault because you're going away.And that was one of the tamer things she said!

He can't come home and get excited and tell her how things are going as she just throws it in his face and makes negative,hurtful comments.I'm not a violent woman but if I had been there I would've slapped her one!

The most hurtful thing is,it's all coming out now.Nothings ever been said before.I understand they've had 7 years to get used to the idea,and probably thought we would never actually do it,but FFS,that's your son/brother.

I tried to be supportive,I tried to listen and cuddle him and empathise but after a few hours I lost patience.Family shouldn't make you feel like this.It's NOT his fault his mother is ill.Family should be supportive of of another,not make you feel like shit because you're following your dreams.

My family were so different.They positively encouraged my sister and I to travel the world and expand our horizons.Every time I went off travelling they were always full of support and happy for what adventures lay ahead.They didn't burst into tears at the thought of their daughters backpacking to the other side of the world,by themselves!

When I left on my Australia-Scotland overland adventure,they threw a big party for me and everyone made a wee good luck,happy speech for me.In fact,I didn't find out my mother's apprehensions about me backpacking across Russia until after the deed was done and I was safe in Glasgow.And there was absolutely no tears from anyone until the airport departure.FFS,my parents have both their daughters on the other side of the world!

I know that we come from completely different families,my Dad left Germany when he was 21 and my Mama left her island when she was about the same age.They met met in Bali and travelled about the world working until they settled in Oz and fell in love with Sydney.

My Scotsman's family have never left the UK,except for his sister and his niece and they only go to Tenerife or Benidorm.When in Glasgow they barely go beyond their East End bubble.It's such an alien way of life for me,but they seem happy,I just wish they would in turn be happy for the Scotsman and not make it so hard for him to go.


Tim said...

I know people just like that. It's a shame because i'm sure that if they experienced other cultures in different parts of the world themselves then they would probably have supported him so much more and realise that a wonderful life does exist outside of the East End.

My sister's husband moved from India to the UK and when they go back to Jaipur to see his family, they all treat her like she stole their son and rarely talk in English around her and talk about her in Hindi. Sometimes I wish people would just grow the fuck up lol