Well,I've decided to go it alone.Like Sophie,and you really MUST read her blog,she's fab,I know WW inside out due to the many tries and fails over the last 6 years.I must also confess that the whole points things just feels to restricting and diet like and totally feeds into my neurotic side.
I've gutted my room in anticipation of Hogmanay.Hoping and wishing that going into the new year with a clean room will somehow make me continue these tidy habits long into 2010,and I found.............
14 pin up - rockabilly dresses
5 pencil skirts in various patterns and variations
4 cute pin up style tops and
1 FAB leopard print coat,oh so Rita Hayworth (stay with me please,it's not a trashbag one you will find at shops like Quiz etc,) All in much smaller sizes that I bought in a delusionary state,thinking I'd be able to slim down into.And there are many more gorgeous Irregular Choice and Red or Dead heel which I simply cannot walk in at the mo.
Well,no more delusions.I WILL be slim by the end of this year,and I'm not gonna look back at all my failed attempts.I'm 30 this year - this is gonna be the best decade of my life :D
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Well,I've decided to go it alone.Like Sophie,and you really MUST read her blog,she's fab,I know WW inside out due to the many tries and fails over the last 6 years.I must also confess that the whole points things just feels to restricting and diet like and totally feeds into my neurotic side.
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 17:54
Monday, 28 December 2009
I'm back.New year,new me blah blah blah and all that shite.
I weighed myself the other day and no surprise here,but I've put on a few more pounds and am at the heaviest I've ever been.I don't know what happened to my mojo.I have been slim before and therefore I KNOW I can do this.I've just been so lax and plain STOOPID.
Won't be as fabulously slim for my 30th as I would have wished,but dammit I will be fabulous and a wee bit slimmer none the less.
My 2 nearest and dearest have,as politely as you can when it comes to matters of weight,expressed concern about my health and worsening asthma.And I'm now sick of having to shop in plus size stores and not having any style of my own.I used to have my own individual style,now it's just whatever I can get that fits,and looks semi nice.
So,I don't know how I will approach this this year,but I HAVE to do this,I'm getting winded climbing up the two flights of stairs to my flat and dammit I'm vain.I want to be able to fit into my rack of pretty dresses and walk in heels and make heads turn again.....for the right reasons too.
Will report back soon with a plan of action - meeting vs. online.Weight watchers vs. Slimming world,gym vs. outdoor physical exercise.etc. etc.
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 21:08
Friday, 16 October 2009
Scheisse! 4 months since my last post?!?!?!?!?!? Life has been crazy busy - well my so called life.I should re-phrase that.Work has been crazy and taken over my life.I've still managed drunken shenanigans in between work and my so called life.
Diet wise..............not so good.Gained 6lb/3kg's in the last 4 months.Not so bad when I look it in taht time frame,but still,I could've lost a couple of stone in taht time frame.
Oh well,will soldier on and get serious for the 10 millionth time.
However,now work calls,will write a proper post soon.xox
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 10:29
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Let's not ask for the moon,we have the stars.
(If you've not seen this film,hire it out...NOW!)
Well I'm shooting for the Moon Ms Davis!
When I've been bored at work,and hell,just bored in general,I've been obsessing over calculations in my head.E.g If I lose X amount a week,I could lose X stone by X time and be a size X.
I've calculated it's 25 weeks till Christmas. On Friday (my weigh in day) it will be exactly 25 weeks till the 25th of December.I took this as a sign and have set myself a mini challenge to lose 25 kilos/50 pounds/4 stone by the 25th.It's totally do-able as long as I keep eating the way I am but more importantly,focus and get some regular exercise in.If I don't do it,I'm not going to berate myself for it as long as my losses are consistent.As the many variations on this quote say 'Shoot for the moon,if you fail you'll land among the stars'.
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 00:17
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 00:39
I was determined to start next week,as this week my work schedule is just bonkers,but no.Got shifts coming out of my ears again.Being an agency worker on a mission to emigrate back to Sydney I need to take whatever I can while the work's going,coz you never know what's around the corner - I've had weeks living off just 15 hours wages.Hence me being in the state I'm in,body totally run down after constant 50 - 60 hour weeks.I don't even have kids! I don't know how working parents do it!
Here's how this week pans out........
Fri:10:00 - 20:00 shift,1 1/2 hours travel time each way.The joys of public transport.No exercise done.
Sat:Night shift 22:00 - 08:00.No exercise done before.Sick as a dog.
Sun:Sleep.Awoke feeling like a mucous monster with a boa constrictor wrapped around my chest.All intentions of attacking the treadmill went out the window.
Mon(today):Night shift as before.Managed to climb the stairs to the third floor for my 2 hourly checks without needing my Ventolin - a first since last Monday.May attempt to power walk around the open plan kitchen/living room.
Tues:Sleep,then a 5:30 - 22:00 shift
Weds:09:00-12:00 shift,then sleep then another night shift.May attempt 20 mins at least on the treadmill to tire me out so I sleep.
Thurs:Sleep,then meeting AngelBoy for tapas lunch.
Sat:08:00-16:00,then 18:00-22:30 shifts,in opposite ends of Glasgow.Break between shifts will be spent travelling on buses.
Sun: 14:30 - 22:30.MUST EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!
Mon:Off with AngelBoy,will attempt to haul our asses out of bed before 1PM and attempt a big walk.
Tues: 09:00-12:00,13:00-21:00.Break spent travelling.
Weds:09:00 - 12:00,13:00 - 21:00.Break spent travelling.
Thurs:OFF!!!!! By myself!!!!! I love my Weegie Boy to bits but I do look forward to 'me' time.A big swim and a walk around the park me thinks.
Fri:08:00-21:00.No way is anything going to be done after this shift other than kicking back with a wee cigar and a glass of wine.(Yes I know smoking is unbelievably bad for mind,body and soul and especially Asthma,but this is a rare and special indulgence.)
I know that I need to make time for myself,but to be honest.I am sooooooo damn knackered after these shifts all I want to do is take a shower,wash the working day away and chillllllllll. Especially in my line of work.It's so mentally as well as physically exhausting.
I just hope my body feels better sometime soon,as my mind is totally revved up and raring to go,it's just this damn body and it run down immune system that's not.ARGH!
Hope everyone else is feeling much better.I promise the recipes will come soon.Have been experimenting with savoury dishes so will post them soon,but right now I jut want it to be 8AM and me to be wrapped up in bed.xox
Saturday, 4 July 2009
Couldn't think of a more interesting title.But anyhoo - this week it's another 1 1/2 pounds off! So taht's 4 1/2 in 3 weeks.Aiming for 2 1/2 this week and my first silver 7.So utterly tragic of me to be getting excited over a wee silver sticker but what can I say,anything sparkly I covet.And 7 is my lucky number.
Speaking of covet.I've finally treated to myself to Dita Von Teese's book Burlesque and the Art of Teese.What beautiful photography.That girl has the 40's elegance down to a T.And I love her attitude to her fellow women and glamour.
Fab quote #1 'There is no such thing as a plain lady,everyone has their best features,accentuate and focus on them'
Fab quote #2 'I advocate glamour......ALWAYS'
I love that last one.I think Glasgow especially is lacking in glamour and class.......unless tango tan (the deeper shade of orange,the better),skirts so short you can see the bits that just should nae be seen out in public and clown face make up is your idea of glamour - oh and I forgot,the (fake) blonde hair bleached and straightened within an inch of it's life.Not that I have anything against bottle blonde's.....my bestest mate back home is a slave to the peroxide bottle,but it's natural looking and not so.......severe.And being a naturally curly haired woman that not even GHD's can tame you can of course understand why I wish for the day that curls come back - not in a Kylie Minogue perm circa neighbours 1984 though,please.
I promised many weeks back that I would post some recipes for plum tea cake and banana bread.I'm breaking that promise as I wouldn't wish those recipes on anyone.
I think that I am a slightly above average home baker/cook.I bake my own bread,make my own pasta.Anything that can be made from scratch from custard to pastry to naan bread to ice cream has been attempted with much enthusiasm.Packet mixes and frozen meals were banned from my house by my father.Everything was/is made from scratch,but I am lucky as he is a chef who passed on his enthusiasm and passion to me,unfortunately they by passed my sister.I can spend as much time in Lakeland drooling over their products as I can in Schuh salivating over Irregular Choice heels.When I was given a pasta maker it was as joy inducing as giving a designer hand bag is to my sister.
I have many requests for peoples birthday cakes and the one thing requested whenever I'm going to a friends is either my Indonesian Spring Rolls or my decadent Chocolate Velvet Raspberry Cream Fudge cake.You can now obviously see how I ended up the size I am.
I attacked the ww cake recipes with much enthusiasm and whilst they did come out of the oven quite aesthetically pleasing,the texture was rubbery and the taste was that much dreaded 'synthetic' diet taste.I didn't enjoy them at all and neither did my flatmates or my AngelBoy and have come to the conclusion that when I bake it will be proper cakes with butter and egg yolks dammit!!!!! Unfortunately that means a cake slice for 8 points.
I'll just make sure that they are distributed amongst flatmates,friends and neighbours (who luckily enough are also friends) and that there are enough points to accommodate - even if it does mean eating o -point savoury liquid for lunch and dinner.So the temptation is quashed but the joy of baking good,proper,delicious moist and crumbly cakes remains.Same goes for the Spring Rolls.A friend and I were both dieting many moons ago and tried baking them in the oven instead of frying them.It was spring roll carnage.
I do however have a wonderful home made bread recipe that I will post tomorrow.It works out to be 2.5 points per slice,but these are hearty slices and this bread is just too divine to eat any other.Dead easy too and pounding and kneading bread is very therapeutic,or is it just me.
Anyhoo,I shall sign off now as I am rabbiting and have to find ways to stay awake for the next 9 hours.Good luck to everyone else.xoxo
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 16:20
Sorry I've not been around - working like a dog and been sick since Monday.who gets sick in the middle of a heatwave?!?!?!?!? Anyways,first weigh in 3 pounds off!!!!! Absolutely stoked :D off to my weigh in in 15 mins so will update the damage this arvo.xox
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 09:26
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 22:59
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Well I bit the bullet and did it.I finally walked through the doors and joined a meeting.Starting weight a disgusting 19st 5lb,but this is the last time I will ever see those numbers on a scale again.
I feel uber positive already,the leader lady is an absolute sweetheart and I warmed to her straight away.She has a picture of herself at her heaviest blown up and displayed behind her at the meeting,which I have never seen a leader do before.She focuses on everyones loss and involves everyone in the discussions,whether they've lost a pound or 3,and re-iterates the fact that a pound lost is still a pound less and to be celebrated.
The rest of the ladies in the group are lovely and friendly and a whole age range from all different walks of life.This is the first meeting I've ever been to where I feel totally at ease.
My second day totally in the zone and it's all systems go! I'm working uber hours this week - including 4 waking nights,which totally buggers up my eating patterns,but all has been planned to a tee.I'm even going to try and do some form of exercise while I'm here (10 hours of basically sitting around doing nothing).
I've even transformed my treadmill from a clothes-horse to a proper exercise machine.20 minutes this morning,not much but I sweated like a beeatch and pushed that speed up higher and higher till I couldn't push it no more....probably a snails pace compared to most but I'll get there eventually.
Hope everyone else is doing well.xox
This is the photo that was my 'moment of realisation'.It was taken back in March when I was back home in Sydney.
It's so horrible.I was mortified when I saw it.Look at the size of those arms! That tummy! The countless chins!!!!!
I can't believe looking at that,that I was once actually slim.
And here is my utterly delectable 9 stone Scotsman.I am literally double his size and weight.I've posted these up as much as a reminder to myself of why I'm doing this.
Every time the temptation of sticking a chocolate in my gob or baking a luscious cake because I'm feeling blue and want to gorge on comfort food I'll come back to these photos and motivate myself again.
Yet more reasons that I'm doing this ..........
*I want to..........................
*Wear sexy,luscious lingerie again and be able to buy out of Ann Summers and Cyber Corsetry instead of Bravissimo's floral,pastely,not so sexy range.
* Make love in all sorts of bendy positions that would make a Russian gymnast proud.
* Not feel like Jack Spratt and his wife and thinking everyone else must be thinking,'what an odd couple',whenever I'm out with my man.
* Go on some adventures next year and make my 30th year the absolute jazzy-fizzle-SHIZZ!
* For once in my life be slimmer than my sister (superficial and slight bitchy I know,but I'm sure there are many of you out there with slim sisters thinking the same)
* Compete in the Race for Life in 2010.
Most of all,I'm gonna be too fabulous for this town and don't you forget it sweet cheeks!!!!!! :D
(This pearl of wisdom was uttered last week during a drunken discussion with my sister.I'm totally sticking by it and posting it on my wall ;P )
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
I had a briefing today for a job I have on Friday at a conference centre for a creche.We were told we would be provided uniforms and I though that it would be a matter of just filling in a form and handing it in to the supervisor,saving afore mentioned mortification.
Noooooooooooo,the supervisor just asked us all in front of each other,and the 2 other agency girls,who are lovely,but size 14's .I just wanted the floor to swallow me up,but luckily I must have some good karma stored away somewhere as the supervisor diplomatically said that she had one which she thought would fit me,saving all embarrassment.
Yet another reason to lose weight and kick my ass onto the treadmill.I NEVER want to be that embarrassing position again.I remember in year 6,when I was about 10 or 11,for some silly maths exercise or something ridiculously irrelevant,we all had to come to the front of the class and be weighed,this was all in confidence..................but the teacher then wrote everyone's weights,anonymously,onto the board. (I think we had to figure out the average for the class or something) I wasn't the biggest in the class,but I was certainly one of the bigger pupils and was dying inside to see my weight up there in black and white,heavier than most of the other kids,for everyone to see.I was 45 kgs/7 stone and about the height I am now - 5'4/163cm.
I remember reading an interview with the fabulously luscious Aussie actress Deborah Mailman,who is gorgeously curvy and totally,brilliantly talented to boot,but she had a very similar story when she was young,except the children's names were next to the weights and she was the heaviest.It was called the 'weight tree'.Deborah was talking about how it totally traumatised her throughout her childhood and still affected her self esteem,even in her 20's.
Mortifying experience number 2: I asked my partner what he weighs,as he is a wee skinny thing.I love him perfectly the way he is,he may be skinny but he still has lovely abs and arms for his frame.I've never been attracted to big muscly guys.....in fact it's a bit of a turn off for me.And I've always been self conscious of the fact that I am so big and curvy and he's so skinny,but anyways,I diverge! I asked him what he weighs and he is 9 stone!!!!! I'm literally double his weight!!!! I know I'll never be 9 stone,nor do I aim to be,but it's a reality check that I am walking around with literally my boyfriends weight as excess (I figure I need to lose 7-8 stone/44.5 - 50 kgs) and with thighs double his size!!!!
Hopefully I will finally be posting a loss next week - and for many weeks after that.Good luck!!!! xox
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 13:48
Saturday, 30 May 2009
To be sent April 18th 2010, http://www.futureme.org/ .........
Hey Future Me,
How are you? Are you looking FABULOUSLY pin up sexy and slim and about to put on your cherry dress and killer red heels? Are you wearing that sexy blue corset that AngelBoy couldn't wait to see you in a year ago?
Where have you decided to go to celebrate? Are you in Prague? Tallinn? Barcelona? Florence? Have you booked that Intrepid Cairo - Istanbul trip? Or perhaps somewhere else? Either way I hope you have some major adventure planned for your 30th year on this earth.
What did AB get you? Has he got his Aussie visa yet? I hope you've got savings in a joint account and are well on your way to moving back home - do you maybe have a date set? Are you still living in the same flat? With the same flat mates? Hope you're all still getting along.I don't see why not.
Are you sickeningly fit? Can you run around the park yet? Have you beaten AB in a race? How's wee sister going? Is she still in Glasgow? Hope all is going well with her.I hope YOU'VE found a job you love at long last.And the plans to study to be a midwife are still being focused on.
Just how much weight have you lost by the way missus? 7 stone? 8 stone? 42 kgs? 48 kgs? What size are you now? Did you make sure you went to a meeting every single week? Did you combat your comfort eating and chocolate addiction? Are your eating habits truly changed for the better.Is exercise now a daily routine for you?
I know you won't be reading this disappointed because you WILL have done this!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxo Old Me
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 13:40
Thursday, 21 May 2009
"The difficult I can do today. The impossible will take a little longer." Billie HolidayI gained a pound/0.5 kg this week.I don't understand as I have been super active this week compared to my usual self.4 mile walk up and down sand dunes,1/2 hour on the treadmill,1/2 hour walk each day round trip to and from work.
I'm totally perplexed,but i think it's probably about time I started going to meetings.It's now 46 more weeks till I hit the big 3 - 0 and I really need to get motivated and get my ass into shape.I know that I only have myself to answer to,but I just feel as though the regularity of meetings will give me that extra motivation and feeling that I have someone else to answer to.
I'm also put to shame by the fact that I went into work this morning and one of my clients had lost 4 lb's at his meeting last night.So,I'm now on a mission of finding a meeting that somehow fits in with my shift working patterns.
I still have my fab cherry dress hanging on the door,a fabulously sexy satin lace up corset that I used to be able to fit into in my closet,and boxes and boxes of utterly divine heels in boxes,awaiting the day that I can strut,strut,STRUT sexily in them without wobbling and toppling over and feeling like I want to hack my legs off coz of the pain. I can just picture myself at goal,in my 30th,at some fab cocktail bar,or possibly in some romantic location overseas with my Scotsman,in my fab cherry dress,sexy red heels and deep red or darkest purple hair (I've decided I'd treat myself to a total hair overhaul at a good salon when I reach goal).Why can't I get myself kick started to get there in reality?!?!?!? ARGH!
It's a constant roller coaster of lose 2 lb's,gain a pound,get disillusioned,binge,gain another pound,get motivated.Lose 2 pounds,gain a pound,get disillusioned,binge,gain a pound,get motivated,lose a pound......................etc. etc..........
Hopefully meetings will stop this cycle and help me focus on the goal at hand.I WILL BE PIN UP FABULOUS BY MY 30TH DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 16:33
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
I know I've already posted today,but I manage 30 mins/1.25 miles on the treadmill today.I know it's very slow compared to most,but the point is it's a start and it can only get better :D PLUS,I also went for my big long walk around the park and then to the supermarket this morning.
Whilst at the supermarket I resisted the temptation of chocolates,biscuits and cakes and instead stocked up on Cherries,Strawberries and Raspberries.So I guess that's 2 mini victories!It sounds sooooo absolutely ridiculous to be getting excited over,when I see it in print,but this is coming from a girl who is 6 stone overweight and get's puffed out walking up a mini hill!
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
..................I just shut the bitch up with Chocolate.
Stayed the same this week.I'm happy not to have gained,but I did walk a lot this week,to and from work......mostly chasing after various forms of public transport,but nonetheless I am a teeny tiny bit disappointed that I didn't have a wee loss.
I worked absolutely CRAZY hours this week - 45 in 4 days (12 hour shift over the weekend and Monday) so I haven't been as active as I probably should've.
I do have 3 days off though and am DETERMINED to see at least a 2 pound/1 kilo loss next week,if not better.I promise myself I will move my ass this week and get on the treadmill,or walk around the park (as it's SUCH gorgeous,sunny weather,even here in Glasgow!) or do one of my exercise dvd's - I'm showing my age,was about to write video! Possibly both as I am sooooo mentally drained from work,I just want to chill out at home.So,please feel free to give me a verbal bashing if I come back online and have reported no activity for Weds,Thurs and Fri.
I am also thinking about going back to meetings too,for that extra encouragement and mentally feeling that I have someone I am 'accountable' too.It's just a bit hard being an agency shift worker and fitting in a regular meeting time.
Well I'll sign off now as it's an unbelievably gorgeous and sunny day here and so I'm off to the park with a good book and a picnic and the determination to go for a wee walk afterwards.Will be making Cafe style Banana Bread and Fresh Plum Tea Bread when I get home due to a surplus of fruit and some guests coming over tonight,so I will post photos and recipes as I promised when I first started this blog.
Hope everyone else is doing well.xoxox
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
I put on 3 pounds/1.25 kg this week.
It was expected,but I actually didn't think it would be that much.
I was going so well,tracking and pointing and writing everything down in my big diary,but then the long weekend came..........
Too much of a good thing - a romantic evening out on Friday at a lovely Italian restaurant.Eating both dinner AND lunch out on Sunday as well as a few too many drinks.I was a little sozzled and as such know I didn't make the right choices.Been a bit stressed about work and shifts (or lack thereof as I'm an agency worker) and bills,and as such haven't been as active as I should.In fact I haven't been active at all! Perhaps it was also a throwback from the Parisian weekend or is that just a lame excuse? Probably :P
Anyways,this is a new week and I have planned my meals for the week and did my shopping online,with lot's of fruit and veg and healthy snacks.I'll need to refrain from drinking on the weekends and eating out so much,just till I get a handle on this and actually shift something.
I feel like a broken record and feel like I'm letting myself down so often.But it's time to get serious because I CAN NOT continue at this weight,with aching knees every time I climb up stairs,out of control asthma,lagging behind my friends and AB when we're walking out and about.It's got to stop and I have got to get it in my head that I can't self medicate with food!!!!!!!!
Less than a year to my 30th.I'm not gonna be fat and 30.I've wasted enough of my 20's.
Hope everyone else is having a better week.xo
Sunday, 3 May 2009
I'm sure I have seen many a post both on blogs and the WW 5+ board warning readers about the calorific Starbucks goodies. I also personally hate Starbucks because it's an evil global corporate conglomerate that have managed to even get their claws into the Forbidden City in China.So wrong.So,so wrong.Alas I did not heed the warnings and gave up my principles for a day and following are the consequences :(
Yesterday Angel-Boy and I were both working in the city so we decided after a leisurely lie in to have breakfast out together.AB was craving a panini,and he is a MAJORLY fussy eater,especially when he sets his mind on something.I'm a far more adventurous eater (water buffalo intestines on lotus stalks,anyone?) and can usually find something on any menu we happen upon.AB settled upon Starbucks,I thought I would wisely choose some fruit and yogurt and water,but as it was nearing 12 and we hadn't eaten a thing,In was quite ravenous and therefore thought I wisely chose the tuna panini.Uh-uh!..............9.5 points!!!!!!! EEK! Luckily I managed to salvage some the rest of the day with low point dinner and snacks,and the panini was my breakfast and lunch combined (not good,I know!)
Oh well,no point getting worked up about it still stayed within points and know to be wiser next time.I'm not expecting as big a loss this week,if one at all,and will just look forward to being more on track careful next week.
I'm ashamed to admit that I have not done anywhere near the exercise I had planned for myself this week :( Not even got on my treadmill this week but I have walked a lot more by getting off the bus earlier,blah blah,all the usual tricks we all know and love and have hammered into us everywhere we go.
Well,I have to sign off now as I have to work.Shift working and weekends suck!Hope everyone else is going well.xo
Friday, 1 May 2009
I'm finally back in Glasgow and back to real life after my trip home,then off to see the rellies in Berlin,then a b'day weeknd in Paris.Now Ladies,there is nothing better for the self esteem than a weekend in Paris.The men are utterly DIVINE,I would actually describe them as beautiful as they are so delicately featured and chisilled.Obviously they are renowned as notorius flirts,but I actually got asked out by a lovely lady at the Eiffel Tower - now that is the best souvenier you could ever bring home,AND one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen in my entire life.He was an exquisite half French - half Tahitian stunner.I felt like a wee giggly schoolgirl and blushed as red as a rose when he first spoke to me.
Alas,I am very happily in love and committed to my gorgeous wee Scottish Angel-boy so it was a strictly look - but -don't touch flirtation,but it was still nice to feel gorgeous and lusted after,especially as Scotsmen aren't exactly known for their romantic and flirting skills.
I was quite surprised to step on the scales after Paris and find that I had lost 4 lb/2kgs!!!!!! It must be all the walking and bloody stairs!!!! We ate the most delicious food,and quite a few macarons and pastries,quite rich,but then it was all good food involving lots of veg and good cuts of meat.The French sure know how to live and enjoy their food without deprivation and chemically,synthetic diet tastes.
But anyways,I diverge.After coming back from Oz and Berlin I stepped onto the scales and was the heaviest I have ever been - 19s 7lb.EEK! And to top it all off my parents and sister sat me down and had a wee chat to me about their concern for my weight and health,as the last time they saw me I was about 5 1/2 stone slimmer.Then after our Berlin trip,my angel-boy told me that he was concerned about my health,as we were on a 4th floor flat and I was near collapse after all those stairs,as well as the 2 flights at every train station.
Me,being the drama queen that I am,miscontstrued this as 'He doesn't find me attractive anymore'.Of course at the time I probably knew this wasn't true,but am just prone to dramatic moments.
This has been the kick up the bum I needed and I am pleased to report that I have been planning and tracking and pointing religiously,to the point where I carry about a big,page a day diary with me to work etc. so I can write down everything I eat.Does this seem a bit excessive? It's what I need to do though,as I can't be this size/weight and rising any longer! My asthma is extremely bad lately and I nearly spontaneously combusted after all those stairs in Berlin and Paris.And,my big goal of being FABULOUS by the big 3-0 is now only a year away and my aim is 50kgs/100lb by mid April next year.
So,it's another (and hopefully last) new beginning,4lb down,another 96 to go!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 12:05
Saturday, 21 March 2009
5. ACTION STEPS
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 09:35
Monday, 16 March 2009
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 06:38
Monday, 9 March 2009
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 04:09
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Well,I put on 3 pounds.I kinda expected a gain after my disastrous weekend,but not that much! I did take out my frustrations from the traumatic shopping trip on a few pieces of southern fried chicken and chips and of course,my former (or so I thought) comforting friend,chocolate.
I did however somehow stay within points,but I did not eat all my points the next few days in an attempt to claw back from my dismal comfort binge.
Oh well.Do you know what though,I'm not gonna get upset about it.I'm not gonna go and self medicate with a bar of chocolate.I'm not going to cry and scream and get depressed.It's just 3 pounds.There are people out there worse off than me and there are greater things in the world to worry about than a few pounds.
Instead,I'm going to go on the treadmill later and track what I am eating for the rest of the week.My trousers feel looser,I am walking faster and further,I am not using my Ventolin as much.I will instead focus on these positives.
Speaking of positives,I would like to share a few positive quotes with you all,as I feel we,women especially,are beating ourselves up too much about conforming to the Western body beautiful,instead of celebrating the fact we are all individual and fabulous and womanly and that we are actually off our arses doing something for,above everything else,our health.
Here is my favourite quote from all time.I cant remember it exactly,but this is it more or less,from a fabulous book called Eva Luna by Isabelle Allende
'When I was 13 I became beautiful.......not because I was,but because I decided I was'
I want to get this tattooed when I get to my goal,in a condensed form,maybe 'I am beautiful because I choose to be'.I would also probably get it another script,maybe Arabic or Thai,so that it would be my little secret inspiration.
I've also just finished reading a book called 'Eat,pray,love' by Elizabeth Gilbert (well recommended,although she does get a bit too 'American and preachy' at times) She talks about a fabulous friend she has who said to her once while she was looking at herself in a mirror
'Admittedly I'm not one who looks fantastic in everything,but still I cannot help loving myself'
'To allow others to be your yardstick will keep you enslaved all your life.'
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 12:15
Monday, 9 February 2009
Well,Ive had a bit of an all over the place weekend,contributed to,by several incidents.
Firstly,I went clothes shopping on Friday,which is traumatic at the best of times,but that day I just wasn't able to find anything I liked.Everything I tried on made me look frumpy.It seems that plus size designers seem to think that swathes of unappealing,garishly patterned fabric will suffice for us curvaceous ladies.And then when I did find something I liked,my d@amn ample bosom made it appear as if the bust bit was bursting at the seams.So if you're above a size 16 it's either a tent or a too small,cleavage popping outfit,that would put a stripper to shame!
Now,I am usually quite a confident woman,but for some reason that shopping expedition knocked my self esteem for 6! I think perhaps the fact that I was shopping for summer clothes for my impending trip home was playing on my mind,as I have put on at least 3 stone and 3 dress sizes since I moved to Scotland 5 years ago.I've not been home to Sydney,Australia since,and am quite self conscious that peoples first thoughts will be my weight gain.I know its silly and like all my friends and my darling partner say,no one will be thinking about that,they'll just be so happy to see me after a long absence,I still can't help feeling down.
In Australia we don't have tabloids,or magazines like reveal,closer or heat,with their relentless persecution of women's bodies and 'circles of shame'.I personally boycott them for the above reasons,but I happened across one at my mates place...........and wish I hadn't bothered.There was the infamous 'fat' pictures of Jessica Simpson,and various diet tips from celebrities,which were just utter,jaw dropping madness! There was the usual,don't eat carbs,don't eat after 6,do the special K diet when you're feeling fat etc, and some absolutely ludicrous ones,but the thing is,these ladies are scarily thin anyways.Size 6 -8.I want to be a 14! I want to eat carbs when I want! I want to enjoy eating out with friends! I want to enjoy eggs,yolks and all! When will this madness end?
On Friday night I had a girls night in,chatting to a fabulous friend of mine who is an actress.She too is a curvaceous lady,always has been and always has been confident..........until now.She has confided in me that she is thinking about giving up acting! This has been her dream since she was wee,and what she has studied and struggled through a hard actors life for,with many a month without work.She has been in some great BBC shows,and is obviously talented,but the reason she is giving up her dream?!?!??!!? Her size!!!!!!! If you ain't a skinny minnie,there ain't no work for you.I am utterly devastated for her and for women as a whole as she lives and breathes acting,its her calling and her passion,and for her to give it up because of her size? Well its just makes me so angry I could cry.
After that chat,I awoke on the Saturday morning to The truth about Size Zero' with Louise Redknapp.I had been wanting to watch this for a while,and thought 'yay,finally someone speaking out about the madness of size zero',but I couldn't be more wrong........................
For one,Louise Rednapp was a scarily tiny 7 STONE something when she started the size 0 diet - a tiny size 8.Her BMI and weight was bordering on unhealthy! Could they not have got a healthy size 12 to really show the point? part of me thought it was a bit too put on and staged,surely the diet was not that much different from what she usually ate?
And Louise interviewed Denise Van Outen who proceeded to say she 'Loved her curves and her boobs and her bum' What curves,woman? What boobs and what bum? Get outta here!!!!!!
I know,that it is not healthy to be obese,but nor is it healthy for these girls to be subsisting on lettuce and egg white omelette's,or for a grown woman to weigh 7 stone and have a BMI and weight bordering on unhealthy.
To top it all off I got this months weight watchers to get some recipes and stay motivated.And I feel like shit now,cos the cover girl's weight loss was a whopping 2 stone!!!!!! WOW! And she went from a massive size 14 to a 10!!!! WOW!
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF?!?!?!?!?!? A size 14 is considered fat?!?!?!?!?? That is worthy of a cover of a slimming magazine??? There was a woman in there who went from a size 30,to a 12,surely that is worthy of a cover?
And then I go over onto my facebook and check out one of my mates new photo albums of her on holiday in Bali and in her captions for 'who is in this album' she put 'me,carol,ben,blah,blah blah and 'my gut'.Now this girl is TINY - I'd say a size 8.My gut,my arse!!!!! I'm sick of size 10 girls going on about how fat they are in front of me - if they think they're fat what the hell do they think of me?I'm sick of being told I have such a pretty face and how I'd be even more beautiful if I lost some weight,I'm sick of how a skinny girl can have an ugly face but guys will fall at her feet,yet a girl whose big and curvy but has a STUNNING face,doesn't get a look in.I'm pissed off at myself for allowing myself to be unhappy with myself for all the above reasons.I'd like to say that the only reason I'm trying to lose weight is to be healthy,but i must admit it's for totally superficial aesthetic reasons too.
I can't believe I'm given up my feminist principles to fit into a dress.I don't even find skinny girls attractive,I like my 1940's and 50's style women,luscious and curvy.ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This society SUCKS! I should move to Cuba.
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
As promised here are the Blueberry Lemon Drop Babycakes.........
1oo g flour
1 tsp baking powder
5 tsp Caster Sugar
Few drops vanilla essence
Dash cinamon and/ or nutmeg (both optional)
2 medium eggs,beaten
6 Tbs/75 ml skimmed milk
1 lemon,zest and juice
Optional, Small pot 0% fat greek yogurt
1 Tbs honey
1.Sift all the dry ingredients in one bowl,make a well in the centre and add the eggs and whisk,gradually adding the milk and juice till smooth.You may need more milk than the recipe states,or alternately,use water.
2.Mix in lemon zest and blueberries.
3.Drop Tablespoons of the mix into a pan sprayed with frylite etc. and cook till bubbles appear and start to stop,then flip and cook on the other side.Serve with greek yogurt and honey.
Serves 4,makes 12. 3 points with yogurt and honey,2.5 without.
BNS Gnocchi Gratin
400g Butternut Squash
1 red onion,chopped into wedges
Pinch of Sage
Pinch of Parsley
250g Passata or 1/2 tub WW Neapolitan sauce
1.Cube the BNS and sprinkle with Paprika (optional),add the onion wedges and cook in oven on moderate heat.
2.Cook the Gnocchi according to packet directions,drain and keep warm.
3.Once the BNS is cooked through,put it into a heatproof dish,with the onions.Add the Gnocchi and the herbs and stir in the passata/neapolitan sauce.Bake in oven approx 10 mins at 180 degrees.
1 1/2 points per serving.Add parmesan cheese,optional,points 2 1/2 per serving.
Here's todays menu................
B: Big bowl special K creamy bliss 3
L: 3 weight watchers wraps 4.5
1 serving wafer thin ham 1
1 Tbs low fat mayo 1
2 Tbs Light Philly with garlic and herbs 3
1 bag Ryvita limbos,cheese and onion 1
D:1/3 portion brown rice 1.5
Tinned mackerel in tomato sauce 3.5
4 tablespoons sweetcorn 1.5
S:Mini snack a jacks 1.5
1 mini kit-kat 2.5
WW yogurt peach 0.5
S/F jelly if I'm still hungry
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Aka,Blueberry and lemon drop scones,but why go with conformity when kitsch is more apt.I have been watching too many old films with suave men strutting in and greeting ladies with a flick of their fedora hat and a 'Hello babycakes'.
Again I diverge,back to the recipe.Well,as I was starting work late and hadn't planned on using many points I thought a wee afternoon tea treat was in order :) I found this in an old WW mag,and although my food photography skills aren't up to scratch,believe me,these are DIVINE,and only 3 points for 3 of the wee pancakes.
As for dinner tonight,I saw a recipe for Butternut Squash and Gnocchi Gratin,only 1 1/2 points for a big serving! The original recipe calls for cheese,but I decided it looked rich enough without it.I have never had Gnocchi before,maybe because they look like wee fat grubs,and I have a strange and irrational phobia of worms,grubs and caterpillars.Quite strange for an Australian.Snakes and spiders,no bother! Worms - hyperventilating panic attack! LOL!So anyways,I snuck a cheeky wee bite of one and they are delish,so I am very looking forward to having this for my dinner tonight.
Oh,and before I forget,I lost 1 lb this week,was a little dissappointed after last weeks 4 lb loss,but I did have an indulgent Monday,unexpectedly,as we stumbled upon a half price cocktail bar as a refuge from the snow.I think I stayed within points,however I did do my treadmill today and will continue to do so all this week,just in case.And after all, a loss is still a loss.Hope everyone else is having a good week and good WI's :D xo
Recipes will follow todays menu plan......................
B:Big bowl Special K Creamy Berry Bliss 3
L: 2 weight watchers Pittas 3
Homemade tuna,sweetcorn and mayo filling 6
D: BNS and gnocchi gratin 1.5
S: Blueberry and Lemon Drop Baby Cakes 3
Cheese Snack a Jacks 2
Apple and Watermelon SF Jelly 0
19.5,8.5 left.Maybe a wee kit kat and a coke to keep me awake at work tonight.
BP: 1.5 Brisk walking on the treadmill,15 mins - not going to use this though and see what my loss is like next week.
Time is running away from me,so I promise I will put these recipes up when I come home tonight or tommorrow afternoon.xo
Sunday, 1 February 2009
Wow,People have actually been reading this :D Thank you everyone and feel free to comment :D
Just to let you all know,I have a few more recipes up my sleeve for next week - Lemon Swirl Cake (Our local butcher sells the most divine lemon curd), Gnocchi and Pumpkin Gratin,Salmon Fishcakes,Blueberry and Lemon drop pikelets (aussie for mini pancakes) as I found a tube of fresh blueberries hiding in my freezer,and ooh,I think something Chocolatey for the weekend - probably will try and adapt one of my decadent delights from my pre WW past.
So keep checking back and I will post the recipes and pictures as I go.Hopefully WW won't be chasing me down for copyright infringements,but as I am a Chef's daughter,I am sure I will make a few adjustments here and there,and then technically it won't be their recipe and that would get me out of that loophole ;P
Don't mean to be shamelessly self promoting,but I just adore food and cooking and sharing that love and swapping ideas.And as much as I want to lose weight I still believe 'FOOD SHOULD BE A PLEASURE'.We should never lose site of that,not just from a culinary side,but from the social aspect of entertaining and socialising.
I haven't really found any sites with WW friendly 'proper' cakes and bakes and recipes,sweet and savoury,so I'm hoping people will find this useful..............and if anyone knows of any sites,pass em my way.
Happy Baking :D xo