Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 22:59
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Well I bit the bullet and did it.I finally walked through the doors and joined a meeting.Starting weight a disgusting 19st 5lb,but this is the last time I will ever see those numbers on a scale again.
I feel uber positive already,the leader lady is an absolute sweetheart and I warmed to her straight away.She has a picture of herself at her heaviest blown up and displayed behind her at the meeting,which I have never seen a leader do before.She focuses on everyones loss and involves everyone in the discussions,whether they've lost a pound or 3,and re-iterates the fact that a pound lost is still a pound less and to be celebrated.
The rest of the ladies in the group are lovely and friendly and a whole age range from all different walks of life.This is the first meeting I've ever been to where I feel totally at ease.
My second day totally in the zone and it's all systems go! I'm working uber hours this week - including 4 waking nights,which totally buggers up my eating patterns,but all has been planned to a tee.I'm even going to try and do some form of exercise while I'm here (10 hours of basically sitting around doing nothing).
I've even transformed my treadmill from a clothes-horse to a proper exercise machine.20 minutes this morning,not much but I sweated like a beeatch and pushed that speed up higher and higher till I couldn't push it no more....probably a snails pace compared to most but I'll get there eventually.
Hope everyone else is doing well.xox
This is the photo that was my 'moment of realisation'.It was taken back in March when I was back home in Sydney.
It's so horrible.I was mortified when I saw it.Look at the size of those arms! That tummy! The countless chins!!!!!
I can't believe looking at that,that I was once actually slim.
And here is my utterly delectable 9 stone Scotsman.I am literally double his size and weight.I've posted these up as much as a reminder to myself of why I'm doing this.
Every time the temptation of sticking a chocolate in my gob or baking a luscious cake because I'm feeling blue and want to gorge on comfort food I'll come back to these photos and motivate myself again.
Yet more reasons that I'm doing this ..........
*I want to..........................
*Wear sexy,luscious lingerie again and be able to buy out of Ann Summers and Cyber Corsetry instead of Bravissimo's floral,pastely,not so sexy range.
* Make love in all sorts of bendy positions that would make a Russian gymnast proud.
* Not feel like Jack Spratt and his wife and thinking everyone else must be thinking,'what an odd couple',whenever I'm out with my man.
* Go on some adventures next year and make my 30th year the absolute jazzy-fizzle-SHIZZ!
* For once in my life be slimmer than my sister (superficial and slight bitchy I know,but I'm sure there are many of you out there with slim sisters thinking the same)
* Compete in the Race for Life in 2010.
Most of all,I'm gonna be too fabulous for this town and don't you forget it sweet cheeks!!!!!! :D
(This pearl of wisdom was uttered last week during a drunken discussion with my sister.I'm totally sticking by it and posting it on my wall ;P )
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
I had a briefing today for a job I have on Friday at a conference centre for a creche.We were told we would be provided uniforms and I though that it would be a matter of just filling in a form and handing it in to the supervisor,saving afore mentioned mortification.
Noooooooooooo,the supervisor just asked us all in front of each other,and the 2 other agency girls,who are lovely,but size 14's .I just wanted the floor to swallow me up,but luckily I must have some good karma stored away somewhere as the supervisor diplomatically said that she had one which she thought would fit me,saving all embarrassment.
Yet another reason to lose weight and kick my ass onto the treadmill.I NEVER want to be that embarrassing position again.I remember in year 6,when I was about 10 or 11,for some silly maths exercise or something ridiculously irrelevant,we all had to come to the front of the class and be weighed,this was all in confidence..................but the teacher then wrote everyone's weights,anonymously,onto the board. (I think we had to figure out the average for the class or something) I wasn't the biggest in the class,but I was certainly one of the bigger pupils and was dying inside to see my weight up there in black and white,heavier than most of the other kids,for everyone to see.I was 45 kgs/7 stone and about the height I am now - 5'4/163cm.
I remember reading an interview with the fabulously luscious Aussie actress Deborah Mailman,who is gorgeously curvy and totally,brilliantly talented to boot,but she had a very similar story when she was young,except the children's names were next to the weights and she was the heaviest.It was called the 'weight tree'.Deborah was talking about how it totally traumatised her throughout her childhood and still affected her self esteem,even in her 20's.
Mortifying experience number 2: I asked my partner what he weighs,as he is a wee skinny thing.I love him perfectly the way he is,he may be skinny but he still has lovely abs and arms for his frame.I've never been attracted to big muscly guys.....in fact it's a bit of a turn off for me.And I've always been self conscious of the fact that I am so big and curvy and he's so skinny,but anyways,I diverge! I asked him what he weighs and he is 9 stone!!!!! I'm literally double his weight!!!! I know I'll never be 9 stone,nor do I aim to be,but it's a reality check that I am walking around with literally my boyfriends weight as excess (I figure I need to lose 7-8 stone/44.5 - 50 kgs) and with thighs double his size!!!!
Hopefully I will finally be posting a loss next week - and for many weeks after that.Good luck!!!! xox
Posted by Miss Frangipani at 13:48