Dear Future Me....................

To be sent April 18th 2010, http://www.futureme.org/ .........

Hey Future Me,

How are you? Are you looking FABULOUSLY pin up sexy and slim and about to put on your cherry dress and killer red heels? Are you wearing that sexy blue corset that AngelBoy couldn't wait to see you in a year ago?

Where have you decided to go to celebrate? Are you in Prague? Tallinn? Barcelona? Florence? Have you booked that Intrepid Cairo - Istanbul trip? Or perhaps somewhere else? Either way I hope you have some major adventure planned for your 30th year on this earth.

What did AB get you? Has he got his Aussie visa yet? I hope you've got savings in a joint account and are well on your way to moving back home - do you maybe have a date set? Are you still living in the same flat? With the same flat mates? Hope you're all still getting along.I don't see why not.

Are you sickeningly fit? Can you run around the park yet? Have you beaten AB in a race? How's wee sister going? Is she still in Glasgow? Hope all is going well with her.I hope YOU'VE found a job you love at long last.And the plans to study to be a midwife are still being focused on.

Just how much weight have you lost by the way missus? 7 stone? 8 stone? 42 kgs? 48 kgs? What size are you now? Did you make sure you went to a meeting every single week? Did you combat your comfort eating and chocolate addiction? Are your eating habits truly changed for the better.Is exercise now a daily routine for you?

I know you won't be reading this disappointed because you WILL have done this!!!!!!!!!

xoxoxo Old Me

I will be pin up FABULOUS by my 30th dammit!!!!!!!

"The difficult I can do today. The impossible will take a little longer." Billie HolidayI gained a pound/0.5 kg this week.I don't understand as I have been super active this week compared to my usual self.4 mile walk up and down sand dunes,1/2 hour on the treadmill,1/2 hour walk each day round trip to and from work.

I'm totally perplexed,but i think it's probably about time I started going to meetings.It's now 46 more weeks till I hit the big 3 - 0 and I really need to get motivated and get my ass into shape.I know that I only have myself to answer to,but I just feel as though the regularity of meetings will give me that extra motivation and feeling that I have someone else to answer to.

I'm also put to shame by the fact that I went into work this morning and one of my clients had lost 4 lb's at his meeting last night.So,I'm now on a mission of finding a meeting that somehow fits in with my shift working patterns.

I still have my fab cherry dress hanging on the door,a fabulously sexy satin lace up corset that I used to be able to fit into in my closet,and boxes and boxes of utterly divine heels in boxes,awaiting the day that I can strut,strut,STRUT sexily in them without wobbling and toppling over and feeling like I want to hack my legs off coz of the pain. I can just picture myself at goal,in my 30th,at some fab cocktail bar,or possibly in some romantic location overseas with my Scotsman,in my fab cherry dress,sexy red heels and deep red or darkest purple hair (I've decided I'd treat myself to a total hair overhaul at a good salon when I reach goal).Why can't I get myself kick started to get there in reality?!?!?!? ARGH!

It's a constant roller coaster of lose 2 lb's,gain a pound,get disillusioned,binge,gain another pound,get motivated.Lose 2 pounds,gain a pound,get disillusioned,binge,gain a pound,get motivated,lose a pound......................etc. etc..........

Hopefully meetings will stop this cycle and help me focus on the goal at hand.I WILL BE PIN UP FABULOUS BY MY 30TH DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A mini victory!

I know I've already posted today,but I manage 30 mins/1.25 miles on the treadmill today.I know it's very slow compared to most,but the point is it's a start and it can only get better :D PLUS,I also went for my big long walk around the park and then to the supermarket this morning.

Whilst at the supermarket I resisted the temptation of chocolates,biscuits and cakes and instead stocked up on Cherries,Strawberries and Raspberries.So I guess that's 2 mini victories!It sounds sooooo absolutely ridiculous to be getting excited over,when I see it in print,but this is coming from a girl who is 6 stone overweight and get's puffed out walking up a mini hill!

xox

There's a thin person inside of me screaming to get out.......................

..................I just shut the bitch up with Chocolate.


Stayed the same this week.I'm happy not to have gained,but I did walk a lot this week,to and from work......mostly chasing after various forms of public transport,but nonetheless I am a teeny tiny bit disappointed that I didn't have a wee loss.

I worked absolutely CRAZY hours this week - 45 in 4 days (12 hour shift over the weekend and Monday) so I haven't been as active as I probably should've.

I do have 3 days off though and am DETERMINED to see at least a 2 pound/1 kilo loss next week,if not better.I promise myself I will move my ass this week and get on the treadmill,or walk around the park (as it's SUCH gorgeous,sunny weather,even here in Glasgow!) or do one of my exercise dvd's - I'm showing my age,was about to write video! Possibly both as I am sooooo mentally drained from work,I just want to chill out at home.So,please feel free to give me a verbal bashing if I come back online and have reported no activity for Weds,Thurs and Fri.

I am also thinking about going back to meetings too,for that extra encouragement and mentally feeling that I have someone I am 'accountable' too.It's just a bit hard being an agency shift worker and fitting in a regular meeting time.

Well I'll sign off now as it's an unbelievably gorgeous and sunny day here and so I'm off to the park with a good book and a picnic and the determination to go for a wee walk afterwards.Will be making Cafe style Banana Bread and Fresh Plum Tea Bread when I get home due to a surplus of fruit and some guests coming over tonight,so I will post photos and recipes as I promised when I first started this blog.

Hope everyone else is doing well.xoxox

Sugar Honey Ice Tea!!!!!!

I put on 3 pounds/1.25 kg this week.

It was expected,but I actually didn't think it would be that much.

I was going so well,tracking and pointing and writing everything down in my big diary,but then the long weekend came..........

Too much of a good thing - a romantic evening out on Friday at a lovely Italian restaurant.Eating both dinner AND lunch out on Sunday as well as a few too many drinks.I was a little sozzled and as such know I didn't make the right choices.Been a bit stressed about work and shifts (or lack thereof as I'm an agency worker) and bills,and as such haven't been as active as I should.In fact I haven't been active at all! Perhaps it was also a throwback from the Parisian weekend or is that just a lame excuse? Probably :P

Anyways,this is a new week and I have planned my meals for the week and did my shopping online,with lot's of fruit and veg and healthy snacks.I'll need to refrain from drinking on the weekends and eating out so much,just till I get a handle on this and actually shift something.

I feel like a broken record and feel like I'm letting myself down so often.But it's time to get serious because I CAN NOT continue at this weight,with aching knees every time I climb up stairs,out of control asthma,lagging behind my friends and AB when we're walking out and about.It's got to stop and I have got to get it in my head that I can't self medicate with food!!!!!!!!

Less than a year to my 30th.I'm not gonna be fat and 30.I've wasted enough of my 20's.

Hope everyone else is having a better week.xo

Beware the Evil Starbucks!!!!!

I'm sure I have seen many a post both on blogs and the WW 5+ board warning readers about the calorific Starbucks goodies. I also personally hate Starbucks because it's an evil global corporate conglomerate that have managed to even get their claws into the Forbidden City in China.So wrong.So,so wrong.Alas I did not heed the warnings and gave up my principles for a day and following are the consequences :(

Yesterday Angel-Boy and I were both working in the city so we decided after a leisurely lie in to have breakfast out together.AB was craving a panini,and he is a MAJORLY fussy eater,especially when he sets his mind on something.I'm a far more adventurous eater (water buffalo intestines on lotus stalks,anyone?) and can usually find something on any menu we happen upon.AB settled upon Starbucks,I thought I would wisely choose some fruit and yogurt and water,but as it was nearing 12 and we hadn't eaten a thing,In was quite ravenous and therefore thought I wisely chose the tuna panini.Uh-uh!..............9.5 points!!!!!!! EEK! Luckily I managed to salvage some the rest of the day with low point dinner and snacks,and the panini was my breakfast and lunch combined (not good,I know!)

Oh well,no point getting worked up about it still stayed within points and know to be wiser next time.I'm not expecting as big a loss this week,if one at all,and will just look forward to being more on track careful next week.

I'm ashamed to admit that I have not done anywhere near the exercise I had planned for myself this week :( Not even got on my treadmill this week but I have walked a lot more by getting off the bus earlier,blah blah,all the usual tricks we all know and love and have hammered into us everywhere we go.

Well,I have to sign off now as I have to work.Shift working and weekends suck!Hope everyone else is going well.xo

Just another random blether.....

I'm finally back in Glasgow and back to real life after my trip home,then off to see the rellies in Berlin,then a b'day weeknd in Paris.Now Ladies,there is nothing better for the self esteem than a weekend in Paris.The men are utterly DIVINE,I would actually describe them as beautiful as they are so delicately featured and chisilled.Obviously they are renowned as notorius flirts,but I actually got asked out by a lovely lady at the Eiffel Tower - now that is the best souvenier you could ever bring home,AND one of the most beautiful men I have ever seen in my entire life.He was an exquisite half French - half Tahitian stunner.I felt like a wee giggly schoolgirl and blushed as red as a rose when he first spoke to me.

Alas,I am very happily in love and committed to my gorgeous wee Scottish Angel-boy so it was a strictly look - but -don't touch flirtation,but it was still nice to feel gorgeous and lusted after,especially as Scotsmen aren't exactly known for their romantic and flirting skills.

I was quite surprised to step on the scales after Paris and find that I had lost 4 lb/2kgs!!!!!! It must be all the walking and bloody stairs!!!! We ate the most delicious food,and quite a few macarons and pastries,quite rich,but then it was all good food involving lots of veg and good cuts of meat.The French sure know how to live and enjoy their food without deprivation and chemically,synthetic diet tastes.

But anyways,I diverge.After coming back from Oz and Berlin I stepped onto the scales and was the heaviest I have ever been - 19s 7lb.EEK! And to top it all off my parents and sister sat me down and had a wee chat to me about their concern for my weight and health,as the last time they saw me I was about 5 1/2 stone slimmer.Then after our Berlin trip,my angel-boy told me that he was concerned about my health,as we were on a 4th floor flat and I was near collapse after all those stairs,as well as the 2 flights at every train station.

Me,being the drama queen that I am,miscontstrued this as 'He doesn't find me attractive anymore'.Of course at the time I probably knew this wasn't true,but am just prone to dramatic moments.

This has been the kick up the bum I needed and I am pleased to report that I have been planning and tracking and pointing religiously,to the point where I carry about a big,page a day diary with me to work etc. so I can write down everything I eat.Does this seem a bit excessive? It's what I need to do though,as I can't be this size/weight and rising any longer! My asthma is extremely bad lately and I nearly spontaneously combusted after all those stairs in Berlin and Paris.And,my big goal of being FABULOUS by the big 3-0 is now only a year away and my aim is 50kgs/100lb by mid April next year.

So,it's another (and hopefully last) new beginning,4lb down,another 96 to go!!!!!!!!!!

xox