I know,I know.........

I've been an extremely shite blogger/weight loser/gym bunny/pin up wannabe.

I had that damn chest infection for a week and the past week my fabulous best friend has been here all the way from Sydney.Cue a lame ass excuse to eat and drink as much as I wanted.And NO GYM!!!!!! FOR A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a positive note.................I MISS THE GYM!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate feeling sluggish and unfit.

I hate feeling bloated and crap from all the drinking and non - clean eating.

On another note.I've been doing something I haven't been doing for a while...........leaving the house with a full face of make up.

I'd fallen into the trap of thinking that I don't 'deserve' to look after myself or be pretty because I'm fat.I keep buying nice dresses and things in smaller sizes for when I lose weight and 'deserve' to look good,instead of focusing on looking nice NOW.I can't remember the last time I bought myself something nice to wear at night.I hadn't bought myself any new foundation or liquid eyeliner in a year because I didn't think I deserved to look pretty and take pride in my appearance and spend time on myself because I'm fat.It's so stoopid and irrational but it's changed in the last few weeks.

I went out and treated myself to a new,good foundation and bronzer.I finally bought the Shiseido liquid eyeliner I'd been wanting for ages and I've been taking time out and PRIDE in spending time on my appearance and getting myself all glammed up and pretty for ME.No one else but me.Although the compliments certainly do help ;P

And my thinking is turning.......I do deserve to be pretty and proud no matter what weight I am and I've made a vow to myself that I will spend time on myself more because it makes me feel good.As my favourite quote goes 'When I was 13 I became beautiful,not because I was,but because I CHOSE to be'.