The gym turned my brain to mush........

Short and I will admit kinda boring post.Sorry!

I went to the gym after my sleepover shift this morning.The first time since Xmas (disgraceful!) 45 mins walking and 15 mins on the cross trainer.Thought I would ease myself in again,but my pace and intensity was surprisngly higher than I thought.

Vegetables and fish have now invaded my fridge and I am determined to finally make sushi tonight so I don't end up eating crap when I'm on community support shifts tomorrow.We are entitled to a meal out with our service users,some days,such as tomorrow,that means lunch AND dinner.Not good.

Hopefully the next time I post,I will have photos to post of some kick ass home made sushi.

xox

30 days of photos

Inspired by Rapunzel and after having researched this and found the Facebook page,here is the first of the 30 days of Photos.........


Day 1:A picture of yourself with 10 facts..............


1. I'm a very typical fiery Aries,yet at work I have the patience of a saint.


2. I never thought I would fall in love before I was in my 30's and certainly never thought I would be planning my marriage........EVER! I was so determined to see as much of the world as I could and not let a partner get in the way till I was at least in my mid thirties.


3 .Despite this I've always been a hopeless romantic and adore old,traditional fairy tales.The more tragic the better,Like the original Little Mermaid or Victor Hugo's Hunchback of Notre Dame.


4. Despite being a total water baby and loving nothing better than swimming in the ocean,I will absolutely freak out if I cant touch the bottom and have a fear of open water.


5. I was a painfully shy child.My Scotsman still doesn't believe this.


6. I have never,ever worn a bikini.Even at my slimmest.I can't wait for the day that I do.


7. I feel more beautiful with tattoos,yet I love the fact that (until last year) my Scotsman was a completely blank canvas.


8. I actually went through a very butch phase for a few years in high school.Still totally loved all the old school glamour and Marilyn and Dietrich but totally dressed like a dude.My girliness evolved as I left high school and grew comfortable within my sexuality.Don't ask me the logic behind this.


9. If I could,I would wear ballgowns and tiaras every day ala Moira Shearer in the Red Shoes.The scene where she runs up a million steps to the beautiful old mansion,and shes in a beautiful flowing chiffon gown and tiara,...............just because.


10. I love old school kung fu movies and wish I could kick ass like Bruce Lee.

Jobs,jobs,jobs...........

GAH! I need a new job but most support worker roles need an SVQ or some sort of qualification.12 years experience with the most challenging and medically needy of children and adults count for nothing if you don't have that piece of paper it seems.

Sorry,I don't mean to sound like I'm belittling qualifications,but it's very frustrating that I've had to take huge steps BACK down the career ladder (I used to be a team leader/manager in Oz,working my way up after 6 years) since I've come to the UK.I get frustrated with the fact that someone with little or no experience can come in and be a manager/team leader and yet my 12 years counts for nothing.All I can become is a support worker for average pay,no chances of working up the way.

Och well.One day (hopefully) I will have saved enough money to go back to Uni and put myself through a Child Psychology degree,specialising in early intervention for children with Autism.Yep,I'm a girl who knows what she wants.

In the meantime,I'm spending my Sat night in with a glass of rose,flat to myself and searching through job listings.It's been pretty fruitless so far,so I may just stick with the job I have.Hmmmmmmm..........................

Eating wise,I've been good,all within points.Gym time planned for the month.Nothing else to report tonight.I'm being a boring old fart.

xox

............ Health MOT's,peace love and mungbeans and more wedding stuff

Today I went to the family planning clinic for a sexual health MOT.



My blood pressure is higher than it should be and I've been told to see the doctor about this and my weight.Fucking hell,I'm 30!That's a bloody big scare and it's got to keep me motivated more than a wedding dress.


Spurred on by this I visited Glasgow's most well known local organic-fairtrade-healthy hippie store as it was just around the corner.Funny side story:of all the hub clinics I could've chosen I've been unknowingly going to the central one that's predominantly frequented by Glasgow's prostitutes,or 'night butterflies' as they are called in Indonesia.I amused myself by trying to decipher who in the waiting room were working girls and who weren't.


But back to Grassroots.I love looking a other peoples grocery hauls on their blogs - Laura is particularly good.So here's my haul/food porn..............and please excuse my stained sofa






Organic fruit purees which I love -kinda like grown up baby food ;P Apple and strawberry,apple and plum and apple and mango.Miso soup,dried apricots to go in my Palestinian Organic Couscous.I was attracted to them as the grains are 3 times the size of normal cous cous and they are made by a Palestinians women collective.Also some low salt organic chicken stock and soya coffee cream.I'm addicted to this stuff after Germany.They don't really use milk in their coffees and coffee=proper ground stuff,not instant.Divine!Hopefully the soya stuff is just as good - I'm hoping so as it's German.








In My fridge are a couple of boxes of marinated tofu,organic soy blueberry yogurt and soy apricot and guava yogurts.YAY! GUAVA! And yes,seeing as it's Friday night and my sister is coming over for girlie time there are my favourite Rekordelig Strawberry and Lime ciders.

And heaven sent Lidl.Got 2 punnets of blueberries mega cheap (99p),for freezing.Golden kiwis which I have never tasted before.Cauliflower,broccoli,organic carrots and cucumber in the fridge.I always feel dirty if I spend too long picking a cucumber ;P Plus I got that punnet of mixed plum,cherry and golden tomatoes.

I've also finally got my rota for the coming month.Work is a lot less crazy thanks or no thanks to the budget cuts to care,but on a plus side I have a hell of a lot more time for the gym.

Oh,and I wont be getting the shoes till next month as I found the most gorgeous handmade,one off headpiece to wear.I have been a longtime blog follower and admirer of the darling Frollein Von Sofa.Her hats are beautiful works of art and I have seen so many that I wish to own.When I saw this post however,I just knew that the last hat had to be mine!

Raspberries,white flowers and a wee veil! It's perfect.I love the fact that it has flowers,but not frangipanis which is what everyone would be expecting of me.Raspberries,which after mangoes and chocolate are possibly my favourite food in the world.And the wee veil with polka dots is just too damn cute.A nod to tradition without being totally traditional.

I just cant believe I have a whole year to wait to wear it..........and it totally ties in with the shoes :D

Ok,so now we need to tackle the weight loss catch up.

I'm over the Scotsman's comment now.The truth hurts and he was right,I have been totally fucking about and that pretty much continued through January till now.Don't get me wrong,I was positively angelic the first few weeks of January (aren't we all?) but totally went on a healthy/junky eating roller coaster from then.


I was too ashamed to admit this,and nearly wasn't going to confess,but I always promised you guys I would be honest................

In a bout of New Year Dietary Desperation I actually went out and bought some Tony Ferguson soups and shakes.I lasted 2 days.I don't know why I did it.I know it's a load of shit.I know what I should and shouldn't do.I'm the girl that's constantly lecturing my younger sister and younger colleagues about how crap these fad diets are and how they don't work and that healthy eating and exercise are the only way to go.I know that exercising and cutting down on crap is what works for me.I know that I can still eat my chocolate as long as i hit the gym and be good with all my other meals.I KNOW that's what works.Not some meal replacement shite!


But yeah,I had a momentary lapse of sanity and bought into the BS.Needless to say the bag is languishing in a corner of my room.Don't know quite what to do with it.



Plus,I never realised how much I rely on this blog to keep me accountable.I've missed it and I've missed all your wonderful blogs.



So here's hoping that a wedding dress and coming back to Sydney a total pin up girl stunner will be motivation enough coz I don't know what more a girl could need to kick her up the arse.


Oh,and I've totally found my wedding shoes! YAY! I saw a beautiful dress I lurved but it doesn't go with the shoes.And the shoes are so awesome that the outfit has to be worked from the shoes upwards......................




They are Irregular Choice (of course,I can't afford Louboutins,so these are my substitute addiction) and look like they have a glass heel!!!!!!!! And they have GIANT flowers and totally go with the dress in my head ;P


My sister thinks I'm loca because I am seriously contemplating buying these beeeeeyoooootiful babies on Friday.We are having a text message/picture message debate as we speak.

But I totally HEART them,they are sooooooooo me,thy don't involve leopard print which I've been kinda forbidden from wearing for the wedding......in any way whatsoever.


What do you guys reckon? Or is that kinda bunny boilerish? :O

.....................ARGH MEN!!!!!

Last night I was telling the Scostman how I vow to be healthy and fit again and how much easier it is to be active and eat healthily in Australia and that I will be giving up smoking and general crap when we are at home and swimming and walking more in the sun and surf.

He said (incredulously in a loud Scottish voice) 'You've been trying to be healthy for the last 3 years!!!!!!!'

He has not been seen since.

Seriously tho,I was kinda quite hurt from this flippant remark.I know it's my fault that I've not been disciplined and keep losing and regaining this same stone for the last 3 years,but it still cut to the bone.To hear from him that he's noticed my prolonged failure at weight loss.

Once the hurt subsided,I know he's right.I NEED to stop fucking about.3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....................................Awwwww,shucks.

Wow ladies,it's so lovely to come back online after a near 3 month absence and read your lovely comments and have been missed in cyber world.Thank you!


Well,I don't even know where to begin.Sooooooooo much to tell you all so I will start with the non -weight related stuff.Grab yourself a cuppa coz this is gonna be a long one.


I had an absolutely FAB time in Berlin with the family,ate myself silly on all the gorgeous,hearty German food and managed to not gain too much in the process.In fact,I think it was only 2 lb's which is miraculous considering the way Germans eat in winter.Surprisingly we never saw any fat Germans.If my family are anything to go by though,Pa Barchen (my dad) included,it's because of all the physical activity they do,even in the snow and ice.They are hardcore,man!!!!!!!! And they forced me into their hardcore winter fitness ways too.


Quite unfairly awarded the stereotype of the fat,beer guzzling,carnivores I was so amazed at how resilient Berliners are in the cold.People were constantly out jogging (?!?!?!?!?) and hiking,ski-walking etc.Anything active that could be done in the snow and they were there.


I also had one of the most awesome New Years in my entire life and without sounding terribly cheesy and sentimental the trip really changed the dynamic of my relationship with my German family and my father.And the Scotsman and my father bonded like never before,totally cementing in his head that he is now ready to seriously make the move to Australia.


Sooooooo,visa forms are printed out and fingers crossed,all goes well we will be home for Xmas.Which is a pretty concrete goal in weight loss terms.I know I most probably wont be at goal but hopefully will be somewhat slimmed down as we are looking at getting committed in February.EEK! Yes,looking at our options,we have decided to go for the 'Prospective Marriage Visa'.This stipulates that once our visa is granted we need to get married within 9 months and can then go for the permanent visa.


I was so freaked out about telling the Scotsman about this option but he is totally up for it and it was his idea to have the ceremony in February!!!!! Ours has never been a conventional relationship.The best of friends for 2 years when we finally got together we both knew that we would eventually get married and spend the rest of our lives in Australia.


Now that it's finally happening I'm getting a little freaked out! In a good way of course.I guess it's all the anxiety about this visa too.I won't be able to properly relax until we actually get the visa in our hot little hands.


Sooooo,and it's so weird and freaky saying this,I kinda have a wedding dress to fit into!!!!!!

All my life I was always adamant that I would never get married.My sister never ceases to remind me that I always thought it was the most utterly conventional,unromantic thing ever.I always thought of it as just a piece of paper to commit to societies conventions.


Then of course the Scotsman turned my world on it's head and I came round to thinking I would like to make the ultimate commitment,declaring our love proudly in front of our loved ones.Fast forward a few years and I am now a fully fledged sap who wants nothing more than to get married.


I've come to realise that it's not 'just a piece of paper'.I've come round to thinking it IS the most beautiful,romantic and rock n roll thing ever.and we don't have to have a conventional ceremony to fit societies norms.Our ceremony will be about us and how WE want it done.


A declaration of love and commitment and wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone who still makes my stomach flip when he walks through the door.............and to quote The Little Prince 'Love does not consist in gazing at each other,but in looking outward together in the same direction'.

I have a (borrowed temporarily) laptop back! YAY!

And I lost 4 lb's last week.Double awesomeness.Now I'm off to catch up on all your blogs that I've missed and will blog soon.xox