Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Eating My Feelings

Today a colleague was complimenting me on my weight loss.I can't see it,and I have been yo - yoing up and down like crazy,but she assures me that it is visible that my body shape is changing.She's not the only one who's noticed so maybe it's true.

Coincidentally it's been since Feb when I have been doing uber amounts of walking for work,mostly while pushing wheelchairs.

Anyways,as ladies do we got onto weight loss and eating etc. and we were discussing our horrendous weekends (eating wise) and M hit the nail on the head....."No wonder,you were probably eating coz you were pissed off.I know I was"

It's so true.Staff morale is very low and all us ladies are eating the house out.I am really unhappy with work at the moment.I know we have less than a year if all goes to plan,but my wages have dropped a couple of hundred quid so I really can't stick it out.

If it was job dissatisfaction and a decent wage,I could deal with it.But not working all month unhappily and stressed out for little financial reward.

Plus,I'm hardly seeing the Scotsman.It's gone from once every week to once every 10 days to 2 weeks!!!!!! And of course,it's all due to work.Add onto that the stress of the whole visa process and the pennys finally dropped that I'm eating my feelings.

You've all probably noticed it's been a running theme over the last year or so.I just thought I was being an absolute tit and self sabotaging.

Take Saturday night for instance.I indulged in gluweine mit schuss (mulled wine with an added 'something' of your choice.Mine of course is blueberry/apple/raspberry vodka) a habit we picked up at the wonderful Xmas markets in Berlin.Plus I had my beloved Rekordelig strawberry and lime,some german frikadellen.........on bread rolls.Followed by a bar of Consious raw chocolate . This flavour was DELICIOUS by the way.Please don't be put off by the algae.Fcukin gorgeous! I suppose every time I see my gorgeous Scot,as it's so few a far between,I see it as a wee mini celebration.And because I'm so happy I indulge.

The theme continued till Monday morning when we parted ways for another 10 days.I had a stressful day at work,was sooooooo cold as I hadn't dressed for the weather and was just generally on a comedown from departing from my Scotsman.

So instead of going to the gym and working that stress off to some good old metal (yes,it does de-stress me) I came home and ate.

ARGH! So what to do about it?????????? I want to try and learn crocheting after seeing this post. Is it not the most adorable thing you have ever seen? I need something to keep my hands busy and my mind occupied......besides the gym.

Well,I'm of to mull over strategies to combat the emotional eating,when I'm both happy and sad.



Claire M said...

sounds like a lot of shit to have going on at once- not surprised you're finiding it tough! hope you can get back on track! good luck!!x