Friday, 26 August 2011

I got my September rota today and for the first time in a year I have looked at it without feeling dread,horror or a lurch in my stomach.My pay is inevitably going to suffer but I am so less stressed about work I don't care,I will just make do.

I will have more time for cooking and baking (on a budget),the gym and general 'me' time.

Inevitably one stress replaces another and I have been an absolute mess of nerves about the whole visa application,moving back to Sydney after SEVEN YEARS in Glasgow (7 1/2 in total away from home),having to live with the parents till we find our own place,finding jobs,starting from scratch,trying to organise a wedding from the other side of the world and with 7 months to go.And on top of all that my wee sister isn't talking to my mum and the parentals are exacerbating my stress levels.I'm thirty-fucking-one FFS! Yet they can still make me feel like a kid that doesn't know what I'm doing in the big,bad world.Helllllooooooooo!I've managed nearly 8 years on my own,I'm sure moving back to my HOME TOWN won't be that big a deal!

Mentally I'm not here anymore.I mean,my hearts not in it anymore.I'm ready to go home and in some ways I am already emotionally over there.My room is a shambles coz I just don't give a shit anymore,I know it's all going to get packed in boxes soon.And I just keep thinking in terms of Kiama/Sydney if that makes sense.

On the other hand,I'd always thought I would be racing to the airport as quick as my legs would take me,without a second glance but I'm beginning to realise I really will miss this place despite the total roller coaster ride my time here has been.

Anyways,I've rambled on enough for a a Friday night.Off to contemplate all these things taht are whirling about in my head.



Tim said...

Just out of interest, what made you leave Australia and end up in the UK?