Tuesday, 10 August 2010

This week is pretty much a write off.

Yesterday afternoon I got the news from my mum that her brother had very suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.He was an absolute gem,flamboyantly gay,out loud and proud and never giving a f*ck what anyone thought.

Unfortunately for my mum,he lived in Amsterdam and she of course would be unable to attend his funeral at such a short notice,as well as my other uncle and his family as they are in Indonesia.So,the eldest daughter is stepping in to represent the immediate family and sort through his belongings for my mum and family.It's safe to say this week is a write off as exercising and eating well are the last things on my mind during this whirwind trip.

I have a very Indonesian attitude to death.Maybe it's my job,maybe it's the genetics maybe it's both,but I went to bed with a smile on my face thinking about how my beloved 'Om Ondos' was the person who taught me how to plait hair - we practised on my barbie dolls.Of all the outrageous stories he would tell me about his many flings and conquests,at an age when I was probably too young to be exposed to such things,of his flamboyant outfits and even more outrageous nature.

When I came out to my mother 9 years ago,it was him who calmed her and assured her.I told my mum first as obviously having a gay brother would have made her more accepting as opposed to my stern German father.It was in fact the opposite,my father was so loving and accepting and it in fact was the turning point to our once extremely volatile relationship.

My mother was quite upset as deep down she is still quite traditionally Indonesian and was worried about grandkids and how the world would treat me.Om Ondos was delighted 'Oh great,another one of us' I think were his exact words and through humour he made my mother come around.He also took it upon himself to introduce me to the gay and lesbian scene of Amsterdam when I first visited him there,as well as to all the single lesbians he knew ;)

I can't quite remember how he became to be christened Om 'Ondos'.Om Ondos means cheeky uncle or something along those lines in Indo and as long as I can remember we've always called him that.

I've just got off the phone to my sister where we chatted about the daunting task ahead of us,of all the family we'll see who we've not seen or contacted in year etc.Of how we need to ensure we keep in contact with our cousins and extended family rather than be brought together in such sad circumstances.Of how they will all be talking Dutch and the ceremony will be quite religious and how I need to behave (no offence to anyone but me and religion just don't mix) Of how we will just stick together and be there for each other quietly in a corner..........................I can just imagine Om Ondos joining us,bitching about what he/she is wearing and how dare he/she wear that to my send off,who's shagging who,who he's shagged but most of all I can just imagine his first words to me would be 'Why the hell did you turn straight girlie!!!!!'

Thank you Om Ondos,for teaching me how to plait my hair and most importantly to be loud and proud and not give a f*ck what anyone else thinks.Rest in Peace Om Ondos,you are fondly remembered and sorely missed.


Emma said...

Hi Gallah
So sorry to hear about your Om Ondos. He sounded like a fab guy! Just thought I'd drop you a line to let you know we're thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

Thoughts are with you.x.

Linz M said...

Sorry to hear your news - hope this week goes ok for you x

Lorr74 said...

Sorry to hear of your loss of what sounds like a fab uncle, you are so right to focus on the positives & happy times Im sure he would love that. Hope all goes well at the funeral, take care x

Roxie said...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Tina xx said...

Thinking of you all. I too had a gay uncle who died about 15 years ago, but he was an absolute ace. Loved him to bits. Hope all goes well at the funeral, as well as it can be, for a guy who sounds fantastic xx

Rapunzel said...

so sorry for your loss, he sounds like one in a million! xoxoxo